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The Infuriated Wattersons

[The episode starts off with Anais furiously marching on the sidewalk; Banana Joe appears, slurping from a drink]
Banana Joe: Oh, hi, Anais. Woah!
[Anais walks on Banana Joe, causing him to launch out of his skin; the Melted Cheese Guy slips on him]
Melted Cheese Guy: Aah, ugh! Help!
[Anais walks through his body, causing him to split in two halves]
Melted Cheese Guy: At least I finally got that flat stomach. [Passes out]
[Scene cuts to Gumball and Darwin, who stare at flowers menacingly, making them rot; Idaho appears]
Idaho: Oh, hi, guys!
[Gumball and Darwin use the same stare at Idaho, making him rot; when Milk Guy appears, they stare at him, making him spoil and write the words "SOUR CREAM." Scene cuts to Anais crossing the street; as Rocky, driving the school bus, is about to resume, Anais marches through, cutting the school bus in half. Scene cuts to Nicole in the car, who heaves heavy breaths, screams in anger as she punches the steering wheel; she then rolls back her seat, only to kick the steering wheel. Nicole gets out and, from a lamppost, jumps while slamming onto the car, destroying it. She angrily marches into the house, slamming the door. Gumball and Darwin enter; Darwin slams the door. Anais merely marches through it, penetrating it. The Wattersons sit at the dinner table, Richard entering and smashing all of the plates, as well as stabbing the table with the utensils. He then smashes all of the glassware; he goes to the kitchen and holds the spaghetti pot]
Richard: Dinner is served!
[Richard serves the spaghetti by slapping the Wattersons' faces with it. Before he is about to serve it himself, he considers applying salt. Gumball and Darwin wipe their faces]
Darwin: Thanks, Mr. Dad! Being slapped in the face with wet spaghetti was the nicest thing that happened to us all day!
Gumball: Yeah, being a guy these days is the worst!
[Nicole shakes the spaghetti off her face and gesticulates imaginary "words" being catched in front of Gumball and Darwin]
Gumball: What is that?
Nicole: Your words, and you're gonna eat them right now!
Darwin: Why?
Nicole: Because being a woman is the worst! It's like playing one of your video games without the— t-the— the stick of happiness!
Gumball: Do you mean the "joystick"?
Nicole: No, I meant… [Roars very loudly, blowing the spaghetti off their faces]
Gumball: Yeah, I think she meant "joystick."
Anais: You guys can complain all you want, but you know who really has it the worst? Kids! No matter how right you are, everyone is just so condescending!
Richard: [Chuckles] Oh, sweetie, "condabending" isn't a word. Anyway, you should try being a grown-up. Responsibility, fatherhood, full-time employment— Avoiding those things is so hard for an adult.
Gumball: Really? Then let me tell you about my day!

Gumball and Darwin's Flashback

[Flashback. Scene cuts to the showering rooms in Elmore Junior High. Banana Joe literally presses the bench]
Banana Joe: And that's how you bench press, right?
[Gumball and Darwin enter]
Tobias: [Sighs] Dude. [Sniffs] Uh, what do I smell? Is it cinnamon? No, citrus. [Sniffs] No, wait, wait, wait, no. Lilac?
Darwin: Nope! It's called Roses of the Meadow. We thought we's try Mom's shower gel for a change.
Tobias: That's it. It's weakness I smell. [Screeches]
Ocho: They don't smell like the chemicals we've been taught to associate with manliness!
Banana Joe: Quick everyone— question their masculinity in a sarcastic way!
[Tobias, Ocho and Banana Joe laugh, making Gumball and Darwin blush in embarrassment]
Ocho: You know what would go well with your perfume? Admitting you're insecure instead of just punching someone in the face!
Banana Joe: Yeah, what next? Going to see a doctor instead of suffering in silence until it's too late?
Tobias: Yeah, and then what— admitting you sometimes wear makeup to hide your blemishes and your mom is all like, "Tobias, if you like makeup so much, I'll buy you some, but stop stealing mine"?
[Everyone else pulls a confused and awkward expression, whilst Tobias laughs nervously]
Tobias: I meant, you pungent potpourri punks!
[Tobias, Banana Joe, and Ocho laugh once more, making Gumball and Darwin blush again; flashback ends]
Gumball: And it went like that the whole day— a whole day where we had to hold in our tears, too, because boys don't cry. So if you'll excuse us…
[Gumball and Darwin let out waterfalls of tears]
Nicole: Oh, so you think your day was hard? My day was harder than your father's crusty big toenail!
Gumball, Darwin and Anais: Huh?!
[Richard admittedly nods and sighs]
Anais: Mom, please hurry up and tell us about your day so we can get that image out of our heads.

Nicole's Flashback

[Nicole's flashback begins in the Rainbow Factory, where Nicole is sitting in her workplace; Nicole looks at the Employee of the Month gallery. Mr. Yoshida walks by, allowing Nicole to confront him]
Nicole: Uh, Mr. Yoshida, how come we've never had a female employee of the month?
Mr. Yoshida: [Laughs] We can't have a picture of a woman. It would distract all the men. Then, who would be employee of the month?
Nicole: Well, maybe it's time for a change?
Mr. Yoshida: That reminds me: seeing as you've been here five years, it's about time you had a promotion and your own office.
Nicole: [Surprised] Huh?
[The scene shows that Mr. Yoshida has been talking to the plant; he shakes its leaves with his hand]
Mr. Yoshida: Congratulations. Let's see if we can't pick you out a company car.
[Nicole grumbles angrily; James O'Brien appears behind her workplace]
James: Uh, Nicole, do you have that report I asked for?
Nicole: [Sighs] I put it on the boss' desk.
[Scene shows Mr. Yoshida, making him reappear on-screen]
Mr. Yoshida: Oh! That reminds me: Jim, I read your report. Great work. Let's see if we can't get you an offce of your own.
[James jumps to follow Mr. Yoshida; Nicole grumbles angrily]
Mr. Yoshida: Oh! That reminds me: you should smile more, sweetheart.
[Mr. Yoshida walks away; Nicole pulls an infuriated expression. The scene cuts to Mr. Yoshida and some other employees at a table thumping their chests rhythmically; as Nicole walks behind the glass, she realizes thus and screams in anger, throwing all the papers she carries. Flashback ends]
Nicole: So not only am I getting paid twenty-two percent less for my work than the men, I also have to let then take all the credit!
Richard: You're right. That's a very good point, Gumball.
[Viewing this as a repeating episode of her discrimination, she screams in anger]
Anais: I still think being a kid is worse.
Nicole: Sure, sweetie. How do you cope with all those short days and long holidays? It must be so tough.
Anais: Well, at least my generation didn't turn the economy and the planet. The house that I'll never be able to afford will be underwater anyway.
Richard: Oh, pumpkin, an underwater house is called a submarine— becuase it's shaped like a sandwich.
[Anais grunts in anger]
Richard: [Squeezing her cheek] Don't be grumpy. Oh, this is really satisfying.
Gumball: Ooh, let me try! [Squeezing] Oh yeah, that is nice! Mom, come try this.
Nicole: [Squeezing] Oh, you're right; it's like a massage for my fingers.
Darwin: [Squeezing] Oh yeah! It's like a gummy peach!
Anais: Is it really that nice? [Squeezing] Oh, yeah. Wait! Get your hands off my face!
Richard: [Grunts] I'm supposed to be angry. I was completely humiliated at the mall today.
[Awakward silence occurs]
Richard: Well, aren't you going to ask why?
Gumball: Oh, sorry, we assume that happens every day.

Richard's Flashback

[Scene flashes back to the Elmore Mall with Larry selling fish; Richard walks in]
Richard: Good morning, Larry. The usual, please.
Larry: Are you serious?
Richard: I said, "the usual."
Larry: [Sighs; lifts up a fish] Fishy, fishy, with no nostrils,
Can you smell your fishy gills?
Fishy fishy, in the sea,
Do you notice when you pee?
Fishy, fishy— Okay, sorry, but I'm not doing this anymore.
Richard: I'm not leaving before I've seen it drop the bass.
[Larry sighs, then manipulates the fish's mouth to imitate a drop in electronic dubstep/electro house/dance music, "dropping a bass"; Richard laughs]
Richard: It's funny because bass [Pronounced /beɪs/] is spelt the same as bass! [Pronounced /bæs/]
Larry: Mr. Watterson, do you intend to purchase the fish this time?
Richard: Mm… no.
Larry: Then I'm going to have to ask you to leave the store.
Richard: [Gasps] Am I being banned?
Larry: No; if we banned you, our sales of adult bibs would drop by a hundred percent, but could you please just…
[Flashback ends]
Richard: …grow up?!" What's the point?! Being an adult is the worst! You think it would open doors for you, but as soon as you actually try to open one, everyone in the plane starts wigging out!
Anais: Oh yeah? I'd like to see you try and walk in my shoes for a day.
Richard: Well, I'd like "to" see you walk in mine!
Anais: You're not even wearing shoes! And that is not how air quotes work!
Nicole: None of you would last a day in my shoes. You guys make me laugh.
Gumball: Laugh? Try smiling first.
Nicole: [Furious] Can everyone please stop telling women to smile?!
Darwin: How about we swap roles? Mom, you'll be a guy, we'll be women, Anais, you'll be a grown-up, and Dad, you'll be a little kid.
Gumball: And then we'll see who really has it the worst.
Anais: Challenge accepted.
Nicole: Challenge accepted.
Richard: Chald ensemptechenge.

The Challenge Commences

[The scene cuts to an alarm clock; it rings when it reaches 6:00 AM. Anais wakes up in Nicole and Richard's bedroom, yawning until her back breaks. She tears up and screams]
Anais: My back! What is wrong with it?!
[Richard goes in to the bedroom, beginning to put on his undersized shirt]
Richard: Nothing. After turning forty…
[After Richard struggles to put his shirt on, his shirt causes him to form into a distorted shape]
Richard: …random parts of your body start to hurt horribly for no reason, and there's no cure. Have a nice grown-up day!
[Richard childishly cartwheels out of the house and into the car; once he starts to drive, he accidentally bumps into another car]
Richard: Oh yeah. Kids can't drive.
[The scene cuts to the bathroom, where Gumball is sobbing loudly; Anais enters, frightened]
Anais: What are you doing?!
[Gumball turns around to show that he is peeling off a wax strip, him exhausting a bloodcurdling shrill as the wax strip peels off his fur; Darwin confronts with Anais, wearing an excessive amount of makeup on his face]
Darwin: We're just giving in to the extreme pressure to conform to completely unattainable standards of beauty.
[The scene shows that Nicole is also in the bathroom, facing away from the camera; she zips up her fly]
Nicole: [Laughs] I didn't even shave today. I washed three parts of my body with damp face cloth, and I'm good to go!
[The scene cuts to Nicole walking to the mirror, revealing a very hideous face. Nicole screams]
Nicole: Wow, I never realized how little time guys spend looking after themselves.
[The scene cuts to Anais, seeming depressed waiting for the bus, as well as wearing formal clothing to go to work. As she rides the bus, she decides to bite a doughnut, which causes her to gain hgih amounts of fat, hence her large double chin]
Anais: Right: middle-aged metabolism. Anything that enters my body now makes me fat.
[Anais inhales deeply, causing her to gain two more "chins"]
Anais: What?! Air, as well?!
[The scene cuts to Gumball and Darwin, dressed up as women. As they are about to enter to work, two security guards notice them]
Green Guard: Oh, allow me, ladies.
Red Guard: No, allow me!
Green Guard: No, allow me.
Red Guard: I said it first!
[The two guards physically quarrel, throwing in punches and wrestling. Gumball and Darwin walk over them and through the entrance]
Gumball: We're here about the job. Here's our résumé.
[The red guard enters]
Red Guard: Oh, oh, oh! Allow me to carry that for you. It looks heavy.
[Gumball and Darwin sigh]
Karen: Okay, the interviews are on the top floor.
[Gumball and Darwin walk to the elevator]
Red Guard: Oh, oh, oh, oh, allow me!
Gumball: [Scoffs] We are more than capable of doing things for ourselves!
[Gumball struggles to reach the elevator buttons, due to his height]
Gumball: Actually, could you push that button for us?
[The scene cuts to Nicole walking across the park]
Nicole: Morning! Oh, hi, Billy, Mrs. Parham. How's it going?
[All the people in the park scream in fright and disgust]
Billy: Mother! Make it stop! Make it go away! 'Tis hideous! Hideous!
[The scene cuts to Richard in Miss Simian's classroom]
Lucy Simian: Study!
[School bell rings]
Lucy Simian: Exam!
[School bell rings]
Lucy Simian: Study!
[School bell rings]
Lucy Simian: Another exam!
[School bell rings]
Lucy Simian: Study some more!
[School bell rings]
Lucy Simian: Exam!
[School bell rings; Richard is in a recess]
Lucy Simian: Break time.
[Richard sighs]
Lucy Simian: Break time's over!
[School bell rings]
Lucy Simian: Study!
[School bell rings]
Lucy Simian: Exam!
[School bell rings rapidly]
Lucy Simian: Another exam! A final exam!
[The scene cuts to Anais in her workplace]
Anais: [Groans] Grown-up life is so boring! Wait; I'll just use my imagination to make it more interesting. [Struggles to elicit her imagination, only to find that it is nothing]
Anais: [Groans] Come on, grown-up imagination, give me everything you've got. [Grunts, only to imagine a mere hat] Ugh, forget it! I'll just file this along with all the other hopes and dreams adults have.
[Her imagination is thrown in the trash can; Anais sighs. The scene cuts to Gumball and Darwin entering the elevator; it chimes]
Gumball: Okay, we're going straight to the top— where all the executives hang out.
[He presses a button; the elevator closes and goes up. While waiting, Gumball and Darwin are being squeezed by an invisible barrier]
Darwin: What's happening?!
Gumball: [Grunting] It's the glass ceiling Mom was talking about.
Darwin: [Grunting] What's that?
Gumball: The invisible barrier that stops anyone who's not an old rich dude from getting the best jobs…
[The invisible barrier pushes then through the floor of the elevator, causing Gumball and Darwin to scream and fall to the ground; the elevator opens. The scene cuts to Nicole beginning to work with the construction men]
Hank: Okay, buddy, you can start by shifting that stuff over there. [Hits Nicole in a friendly manner] Good to have you with us!
[Nicole is carrying a metal bar while working; she slips on a puddle, causing the metal bar to fall on her legs and ruin them, which causes Nicole to scream]
Nicole: [Groans] Oh my goodness, my legs, my legs! Heeel— [Implying that men do not ask for help] Heeeugh! Heeeugh! Please, I need hughhh!
Hank: [Entering] You okay, big guy?
Nicole: Yeah, can't complain. Oh wait, why did I say that?! I need to get to the hospital. [Asking George, who enters] Which wa— Which w-wa— Oh yeah, I can't ask for directions either.

Aftermath

[Nicole enters the house, slamming the door and throwing her construction helmet. Gumball and Darwin enter, Darwin slamming the door and throwing down their costumes. Richard enters, dropping his books; Anais drills through the door, then throws the door away]
All: [Sigh] Worst day ever!
Nicole: I'm so glad I'll never be a man.
Gumball: And I'm so glad we'll never be women.
Richard: I'm so glad I'll never be a child again.
Anais: And I'm so glad I'll never be a grown-up. [Realizes that she will; facepalms]
Gumball: So I guess we're all agreed— everyone has it equally bad.
Nicole: Well, no, actually, there are some real imbalances that—
Gumball: Exactly. Turns out everyone has it the worst.
Nicole: [Annoyed] No, no, that's the problem! Men just don't listen. Women always get cut off in the middle of their s—
[Episode abruptly ends]
veTAWOGEPISODESfont Transcript
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