The Bus
- [The episode starts with Sussie and Darwin sitting next to each other in the school bus]
- Sussie: [Sitting next to Darwin] Look, sun! Look, house! Look, roof! Look, ball! Look, door! Look, clown! Look, bird! You're not looking! [Points to a dog] BIRD! BIRD! BIRD! BIRD! BIRD! BIRD! BIRD! BIRD!
- Darwin: That's a d—... [Sighs]
- Sussie: [Smacks Darwin with arm] WAIT! [Cut to traffic light] RED! RED! RED! RED! RED! RED! RED! [cut to Sussie] GREEN! [Laughs softly]
- Darwin: [Moans; squeezes through the side of the seat, Gumball is playing Street Fighter on a device looking similar to the Game Boy Advance and Anton is sleeping beside him] Dude, I need you to grab the emergency hammer.
- Gumball: I'm not breaking the window.
- Darwin: No, I need you to knock me out.
- Gumball: How about you just ask Sussie to calm down a little?
- Darwin: [Moans again] I can't...
- Gumball: What the.. [Pauses video game] You're embarrassed, aren't you?
- Darwin Just use the hammer...
- Gumball: [Laughs] Darwin Watterson, the fish who grew legs at the expense of his guts!
- Darwin: Shut up!
- Sussie: HEY, DARWIN! [Darwin squeezes his head back out] Which noise do you prefer? ALALALALALALALALALALALALA! or AKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!
- Gumball: [Sticks head on top of Sussie and Darwin's seat] Excuse me, Sussie, but can you be a little quieter, please?
- Sussie: Certainly young Gumball, I'd be more than happy to oblige!
- Gumball: Thank you.
- Darwin: [Motions taking hat off]
- Gumball: What's that?
- Darwin: That was me, taking my hat off to you.
- Sussie: [Whispers]: Hats!
Lunch Room
- Darwin: I still don't understand how you can be so direct with people?
- Gumball: OH! It's really hard, you have to think the words and then move your lips at the same time so it makes the right sound.
- Darwin: [Grabs Gumball's face and whispers] Teach me...
- [Jamie cuts in line. Darwin stares at her]
- Jamie: WHAT!?
- Darwin: UH- uh-...
- Jamie: Yeah, that's what I thought.
- Darwin: [Mouths argument] That whole argument I just won only went on in my head, didn't it?
- Gumball: Well... nothing happened in reality, so I'm gonna have to say yes.
- [Darwin starts hitting his face]
- Gumball: What's that about?
- Darwin: That's me beating myself for being such a door mat.
- [The bell rings]
Hallway
- Gumball: If you want me to teach you how to be direct, I can. But you have to promise to do exactly what I say. No questions asked!
- Darwin: [Kneels] I promise!
- Gumball: I want you to walk like a dog with an itchy butt.
- Darwin: I shouldn't have promised!
Schoolyard
- Gumball: [Waves to Tobias and Idaho] Hi, guys.
- Darwin: I think I actually understand the purpose of this exercise. You're ridding me of my inhibitions by destroying the little dignity I had.
- Gumball: No dude... [While laughing] I WAS JUST MESSING WITH YOU!
- Darwin: WHAT?! [Starts punching Gumball] WAS IT REALLY [Punch] NECESSARY [Punch] TO TAKE ME [Punch] OVER [Punch] THE SAND BOX?!
- Gumball: [Happy sigh] Just tell me who you want to be direct with, and I'll show you how it's done.
- [Scene jumps to Leslie on the payphone]
- Leslie : [Talking on the phone] Calm down, honey, you're being over grammatic, this guy is too shellfish and he's being a total control Greek. [Gumball pushes the switch to end the phone call] Do you mind? I was in the middle of a condensation!
- Gumball: Wow, I see what you mean now... Come on, tell him how annoying he is!
- Darwin: [Phew] Okay. [Phew] You know, Leslie? When you try to sound intelligent sometimes, you just- [Darwin starts choking] You just-
- Gumball: Come on man, speak your mind! You're so bottled up you're choking on your own frustration! [grabs and starts squeezing Darwin] SAY [Squeeze] WHAT [Squeeze] YOU [Squeeze] THINK!
- Darwin: [With a loud voice] WHEN YOU TRY TO SOUND SMART AND MIX UP YOUR WORDS YOU SOUND LIKE A FOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!
- [Everyone is stunned for a moment]
- Leslie : I- I don't know what to say... Thank you! Thank you for telling me, I'll be forever graceful for your honesty!
- Gumball: It's- it's grateful...
- Leslie : Ah yes, I'll be forever grapefruit for your honesty.
- [Leslie walks away, as Gumball bows to a delighted Darwin]
Computer Lab
- Gumball: HAHA! Hehe.
- Darwin: What?
- Gumball: Tobias just posted a photo, I'll send it over. [Sends photo]
- Darwin: Oh for goodness sake! This is another thing that bugs me. [Skims through a series of Tobias's photos] He's always pulling that stupid pose! So annoying...
- Gumball: Well it's not really that annoying, it's just a photo, buddy...
- Darwin: It's not though is it? It's ALL the time! [Looks at Tobias doing his pose] Dude, FYI you look totally lame when you pull that pose, WHAT DOES IT EVEN MEAN?!
- Tobias : It's chunkin' the deuce, man.
- Darwin: And what does THAT mean?
- [Tobias slowly walks/scoots away]
- Darwin: [Looks at Gumball suprisingly as he gasps happily]
Hallway
- Darwin: I don't understand, for my whole walking life I had to keep my mouth shut, having to deal with everyone annoying little habits, but now I can say what I like... [Darwin begins to sing] I feel like...
- Gumball: Dude, what are you doing?
- Darwin: I feel like!
- Gumball [Facepalms and sighs]
What He Thinks About Us!
- Darwin: Ever since I was a young fish, I always held my tongue, Never spoke the words I felt inside and now my time has come. I'd push my feelings deep deep down, now I'll tell the world, exactly what I think and feel, about every boy and girl.
- Rest of Class: Every boy and girl!
- Darwin: Yeah!
- Rest of Class: Gonna tell us what he thinks about us! Gonna tell us what to do! Gonna tell us what he thinks about us! Gonna show us something new!
- Darwin: Stop! Masami's popular and funny, but your friends just like you for your money.
- Rest of class: We only like you for your money!
- Darwin: Jamie's rude and impolite because she's half cow half troglodyte.
- Rest of class: She's half-cow half-troglodyte!
- Darwin: Carrie thinks her style's unique, but she's just one more emo freak.
- Rest of class [Mainly Banana Joe]: She's just one more emo freak!
- Darwin: Joe, your jokes are lame and lazy, and you sing just like a dog with rabies!
Hallway
- Gumball: Hmm, where do people go when they run away crying like that?
- [Gumball follows Banana Joe, and sees him sitting on the floor next to the lockers]
- Banana Joe: [Sees Gumball] Uh, haha, I feel a bit silly now.
- Darwin: OH JUST STOP IT! Alright?!
- [Teri is spraying a door handle]
- Teri: Well, what does it matter to you? You do know there are more germs on an average door handle than there are on a toilet seat.
- Darwin: Well, if that's the case, we should all open doors with our butts! [Tries to open door with his butt] Almost got it.
- Gumball: Darwin, what are you doing?
- Darwin: Just proving a point...
- [Darwin opens the door, revealing Principal Brown]
- Darwin: TA DA!
- Teri: Principal Brown! Darwin is being recklessly unhygienic!... [She moves into the sunlight to show her "ulcers"] And it's giving me ulcers, See?!
- Darwin: OH MY GOSH! Your hand, its covered in germs!
- Teri: WHAT?! WHERE?!
- [Darwin licks her hand]
- Darwin: There.
- Teri: Neeeee, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! [Runs away terrified]
- Nigel Brown: Darwin Watterson! This is not like you at all! I can only assume that Gumball has something to do with it.
- Gumball: I've got nothing to do with it at all!
- Nigel Brown: Nothing?...
- Gumball: Well maybe I kinda set him off.
- Nigel Brown: That's all I needed to know! Both of you, to the school counselor, immediately.
A Nice Dose of "Shut Up"
- Mister Small : As much as I think it's important for you to be able to express yourselves freely, I don't think comments about my ponytail are appropriate. The back of my head does not look like a horse's buttocks!
- Darwin: I swear I'm trying my best Mr. Small, But I just can't stop myself from saying- I'M TIRED OF STARING AT YOUR HIDEOUS! HAIRY! MAN TOES!
- Mister Small : Eh, uhum. Interesting, I wanna try something, what do you see when I show you this ink blot?
- Darwin: A very sad middle aged man wearing sandals.
- Mister Small : [Thinks Darwin is referring to him, and takes a big breath] I think I have the right treatment for your problem.
- [Gumball and Darwin walk out of his office; Darwin has tape on his mouth]
Classroom
- Gumball: I'm impressed on how you're managing all this buddy. I thought for sur-
- [Darwin is freaking out]
- Gumball: EVERYONE GET OUT OF HERE! HE'S GONNA HURT YOUR FEELINGS REAL BAD!
- Leslie : No! We need to listen to him, He's just misunderstated.
- [Darwin, enraged, stands up and tears the tape off his mouth]
- Darwin: Hey, chin bag, how about you learn to breath through your nostrils. Oh I'm sorry... YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!
- Sussie: [Whispers] Nostrils.
- Darwin: And how about you clip those stupid nails, they're not gonna make you look more feminine. In case you haven't noticed, [Talks through his teeth] you're a ten ton sack of reptile flesh!
- [Tina sobs]
- Sussie: [Whispers] Reptile flesh.
- Darwin: And as for you! [Points at Miss Simian] The only thing worse than hearing you slurp your coffee is watching it stick to your rancid lady mustache!
- Sussie: [Whispers] Mustache.
- [Miss Simian runs away crying]
- Gumball: Uh, dude, I know I told you to be direct and all but you're acting like a full blown atomic jerk right now, can you uhh, just go back to being a nice guy?... Dude?
- [Darwin slaps Gumball's hand]
Evil Darwin
- Darwin: No more Mr. Nice Guy, I found a new style, with claws and pointy teeth and a villainous smile! Goodbye, goody two shoes! I'm no longer uptight, cause now I'm a shark and I'm ready to bite! And I'll can say what I want, and the truth's gonna sting! I'll be brutal and blunt, it will hurt when I sing! AHAHAHAHAHHA! So look out worl-
- [Gumball slaps Darwin]
- Gumball: You and me, outside, now.
Street Fighter in the schoolyard
- Gumball: I don't want to do this man, but it's the only way! You need to learn that words can hurt.
- Announcer: Round One! Fight!
- Darwin: Your head is so big that you have to put your shirt on feet first! [Shoots an energy ball at Gumball] Big head! Big head! Big head! Big head!
- Gumball: Ow! Stop It!
- Darwin: [Shoots an energy ball] Big head!
- Gumball: That's cheating!
- Darwin: [Shoots an energy ball] Big head!
- Gumball: You keep using the same move!
- Darwin: [Shoots an energy ball] Big head!
- [Gumball echos and collapses]
- Announcer: Darwin wins! Perfect! Round Two! Fight!
- Gumball: You're so ugly that when you entered an ugly contest the judges said no professionals! [Shoots an energy ball]
- Darwin: You're so dumb you put stamps on your e-mails! [Shoots an energy ball]
- Gumball: You're so short that your head smells like feet! [Shoots an energy ball]
- Darwin: Your brain's so small that your thoughts have an echo! [Shoots an energy ball]
- Gumball: Your cheeks are so big that people don't know which end of you they're looking at! [Shoots an energy ball]
- Darwin: Agh!
- [Camera cuts to reality, Gumball and Darwin are still pretending to be in the game]
- Gumball: Pshoo! Cling! Pew!
- Darwin: Ahh!
- Gumball: Your face is so greasy that people put on weight when they look at you! [Shoots an energy ball]
- Tobias : Nyeh, it's not as good as I thought it'd be.
- [Tobias, Banana Joe, Anton and Bobert leave, still making cheering motions, camera cuts back to the game]
- Gumball: You're so bald, that when you take a shower you get brainwashed!
- Darwin: You're so... [Panics] I got nothing!
- [Gumball shoots an energy ball and Darwin is "stunned", Gumball comes close with an energy ball in his hand]
- Gumball: You're so chubby the back of your head looks like a pack of wieners.
- [Gumball punches Darwin with energy, Darwin flies into the air and then back down, smashing a dumpster. Gumball celebrates]
- Announcer: Final Round!
- Gumball: Wait a minute, pause.
- [Gumball holds out his hand and the "game" pauses]
- Gumball: Darwin, I think this has gone far enough. Surely you understand what I'm trying to say to you. It's good to speak your mind sometimes but.. wha- what, what are you doing?
- [Darwin is making shooting motions]
- Gumball: Hey you unpaused! That's cheating!
- Darwin: Big head! [Darwin starts shooting energy balls] Big head! Big head! Big head!
- Gumball: [Energy starts emanating from Gumball] Okay, I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice. You, are not my brother. [Gumball starts to use a combo move] You are just a pet who grew legs!
- Darwin: [Flies into the air] Ahh!
- Announcer: Ultimate combo!
- Gumball: I'm sorry, you forced me to do this.
- Darwin: [Crying] Did you really mean that?
- Gumball: Nohoho! I just wanted you back to normal, it just came out!
- Darwin: It really hurt!
- Gumball: It really hurt me too! I never thought it before, you're totally my brother!
- Darwin: [Regains composure] Well I think you've made your point, and if that's how I made other people feel, I don't want to do it anymore.
- Gumball: [Happily sighs] It's good to have you back buddy. [They hug]
- Darwin: You still have a big head, though.
- Gumball: Well at least mine's got hair on it.
Epilogue
- [On the school bus, Sussie is seated beside Gumball and Darwin]
- Sussie: AKAKAKAKAKAKAKA...
- [Gumball and Darwin stare at each other and nod. Darwin gives the emergency hammer to Gumball. The camera cuts to outside the bus. Gumball and Darwin fly out the window, where the camera freezes. Episode ends]
v • e Transcript
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| Episode 1 The DVD |
Episode 2 The Responsible |
Episode 3 The Third |
Episode 4 The Debt |
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| Episode 5 The End |
Episode 6 The Dress |
Episode 7 The Quest |
Episode 8 The Spoon |
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| Episode 9 The Pressure |
Episode 10 The Painting |
Episode 11 The Laziest |
Episode 12 The Ghost |
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| Episode 13 The Mystery |
Episode 14 The Prank |
Episode 15 The Gi |
Episode 16 The Kiss |
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| Episode 17 The Party |
Episode 18 The Refund |
Episode 19 The Robot |
Episode 20 The Picnic |
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| Episode 21 The Goons |
Episode 22 The Secret |
Episode 23 The Sock |
Episode 24 The Genius |
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| Episode 25 The Poltergeist |
Episode 26 The Mustache |
Episode 27 The Date |
Episode 28 The Club |
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| Episode 29 The Wand |
Episode 30 The Ape |
Episode 31 The Car |
Episode 32 The Curse |
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| Episode 33 The Microwave |
Episode 34 The Meddler |
Episode 35 The Helmet |
Episode 36 The Fight |
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| Episode 1 The Remote |
Episode 2 The Colossus |
Episode 3 The Knights |
Episode 4 The Fridge |
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| Episode 5 The Flower |
Episode 6 The Banana |
Episode 7 The Phone |
Episode 8 The Job |
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| Episode 9 Halloween |
Episode 10 The Treasure |
Episode 11 The Apology |
Episode 12 The Words |
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| Episode 13 The Skull |
Episode 14 The Bet |
Episode 15 Christmas |
Episode 16 The Watch |
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| Episode 17 The Bumpkin |
Episode 18 The Flakers |
Episode 19 The Authority |
Episode 20 The Virus |
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| Episode 21 The Pony |
Episode 22 The Hero |
Episode 23 The Dream |
Episode 24 The Sidekick |
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| Episode 25 The Photo |
Episode 26 The Tag |
Episode 27 The Storm |
Episode 28 The Lesson |
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| Episode 29 The Game |
Episode 30 The Limit |
Episode 31 The Voice |
Episode 32 The Promise |
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| Episode 33 The Castle |
Episode 34 The Boombox |
Episode 35 The Tape |
Episode 36 The Sweaters |
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| Episode 37 The Internet |
Episode 38 The Plan |
Episode 39 The World |
Episode 40 The Finale |
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| Episode 1 The Kids |
Episode 2 The Fan |
Episode 3 The Coach |
Episode 4 The Joy |
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| Episode 5 The Puppy |
Episode 6 The Recipe |
Episode 7 The Name |
Episode 8 The Extras |
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| Episode 9 The Gripes |
Episode 10 The Vacation |
Episode 11 The Fraud |
Episode 12 The Void |
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| Episode 13 The Boss |
Episode 14 The Move |
Episode 15 The Law |
Episode 16 The Allergy |
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| Episode 17 The Mothers |
Episode 18 The Password |
Episode 19 The Procrastinators |
Episode 20 The Shell |
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| Episode 21 The Burden |
Episode 22 The Bros |
Episode 23 The Mirror |
Episode 24 The Man |
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| Episode 25 The Pizza |
Episode 26 The Lie |
Episode 27 The Butterfly |
Episode 28 The Question |
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| Episode 29 The Saint |
Episode 30 The Friend |
Episode 31 The Oracle |
Episode 32 The Safety |
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| Episode 33 The Society |
Episode 34 The Spoiler |
Episode 35 The Countdown |
Episode 36 The Nobody |
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| Episode 37 The Downer |
Episode 38 The Egg |
Episode 39 The Triangle |
Episode 40 The Money |
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| Episode 1 The Return |
Episode 2 The Nemesis |
Episode 3 The Crew |
Episode 4 The Others |
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| Episode 5 The Signature |
Episode 6 The Check |
Episode 7 The Pest |
Episode 8 The Sale |
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| Episode 9 The Gift |
Episode 10 The Parking |
Episode 11 The Routine |
Episode 12 The Upgrade |
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| Episode 13 The Comic |
Episode 14 The Romantic |
Episode 15 The Uploads |
Episode 16 The Apprentice |
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| Episode 17 The Hug |
Episode 18 The Wicked |
Episode 19 The Traitor |
Episode 20 The Origins |
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| Episode 21 The Origins: Part Two |
Episode 22 The Girlfriend |
Episode 23 The Advice |
Episode 24 The Signal |
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| Episode 25 The Parasite |
Episode 26 The Love |
Episode 27 The Awkwardness |
Episode 28 The Nest |
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| Episode 29 The Points |
Episode 30 The Bus |
Episode 31 The Night |
Episode 32 The Misunderstandings |
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| Episode 33 The Roots |
Episode 34 The Blame |
Episode 35 The Slap |
Episode 36 The Detective |
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| Episode 37 The Fury |
Episode 38 The Compilation |
Episode 39 The Scam |
Episode 40 The Disaster |
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| Episode 1 The Rerun |
Episode 2 The Stories |
Episode 3 The Guy |
Episode 4 The Boredom |
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| Episode 5 The Vision |
Episode 6 The Choices |
Episode 7 The Code |
Episode 8 The Test |
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| Episode 9 The Slide |
Episode 10 The Loophole |
Episode 11 The Fuss |
Episode 12 The Copycats |
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| Episode 13 The Potato |
Episode 14 The Outside |
Episode 15 The Vase |
Episode 16 The Matchmaker |
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| Episode 17 The Box |
Episode 18 The Console |
Episode 19 The Ollie |
Episode 20 The Catfish |
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| Episode 21 The Cycle |
Episode 22 The Stars |
Episode 23 The Grades |
Episode 24 The Diet |
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| Episode 25 The Ex |
Episode 26 The Sorcerer |
Episode 27 The Menu |
Episode 28 The Uncle |
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| Episode 29 The Weirdo |
Episode 30 The Heist |
Episode 31 The Singing |
Episode 32 The Best |
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| Episode 33 The Worst |
Episode 34 The Deal |
Episode 35 The Petals |
Episode 36 The Nuisance |
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| Episode 37 The Line |
Episode 38 The List |
Episode 39 The News |
Episode 40 The Puppets |
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| Episode 1 The Rival |
Episode 2 The Lady |
Episode 3 The Sucker |
Episode 4 The Vegging |
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| Episode 5 The One |
Episode 6 The Father |
Episode 7 The Cringe |
Episode 8 The Cage |
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| Episode 9 The Neighbor |
Episode 10 The Anybody |
Episode 11 The Faith |
Episode 12 The Candidate |
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| Episode 13 The Pact |
Episode 14 The Shippening |
Episode 15 The Brain |
Episode 16 The Parents |
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| Episode 17 The Founder |
Episode 18 The Schooling |
Episode 19 The Intelligence |
Episode 20 The Potion |
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| Episode 21 The Spinoffs |
Episode 22 The Transformation |
Episode 23 The Understanding |
Episode 24 The Ad |
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| Episode 25 The Ghouls |
Episode 26 The Stink |
Episode 27 The Awareness |
Episode 28 The Slip |
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| Episode 29 The Drama |
Episode 30 The Buddy |
Episode 31 The Possession |
Episode 32 The Master |
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| Episode 33 The Silence |
Episode 34 The Future |
Episode 35 The Wish |
Episode 36 The Factory |
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| Episode 37 The Agent |
Episode 38 The Web |
Episode 39 The Mess |
Episode 40 The Heart |
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| Episode 41 The Revolt |
Episode 42 The Decisions |
Episode 43 The BFFS |
Episode 44 The Inquisition |