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Nefarious Nuts at Noon
[It is afternoon in the park. Margaret Robinson kneels in the grass with a bag of nuts, holding one out for the squirrels.]
Margaret Robinson: Meh meh. Meh meh meh meh! [Shakes the bag] Meh! [Tosses the nut and takes another from the bag]
[Her nuts happen to catch the attention of Gumball and Darwin, who scamper up to her like squirrels themselves. Before they can get a taste, though, Mrs. Robinson jerks her hand away.]
Margaret Robinson: Meh meh meh!
Gumball: No, not for us?
Margaret Robinson: [Shakes her head] Meh meh. [Points] Meh!
[The boys turn to see some squirrels peeking out from behind a tree.]
Darwin: I didn't know you liked squirrels, Mrs. Robinson...or the outdoors...or daylight. [Mrs. Robinson scowls at them]
Gumball: Or, anything that doesn't involve other people suffering.
Margaret Robinson: Meh.
[Mrs. Robinson hands each brother a bag of nuts.]
Gumball and Darwin: Thank you.
[They each toss a nut and the squirrels scamper over to get them. They laugh happily as the squirrels gather around them. One squirrel climbs on top of Darwin’s head and another nuzzles against his cheek. However, the heartfelt moment is interrupted when one squirrel suddenly bites Gumball.]
Gumball: Ow! [The squirrels become aggressive and Gumball backs away from them with a scream.]
[The frightened brothers are backed up to a nearby tree by the crazed squirrels.]
Darwin: [Sniffs the nut he holds.] Dude, those nuts are coated in coffee!
[One squirrel growls and shakes its head. Mad from the caffeine, its face reddens and its eyes go askew. Gumball and Darwin toss the bags of nuts away and watch in horror as the squirrels viciously attack the other residents. Mrs. Robinson appears from behind the tree and proudly watches, chuckling at her work.]
[The squirrels chase the screaming Rosie as she flees on her bike. Hank struggles to walk as the squirrels attack him all over, with one even crawling around inside his shirt. A squirrel pops out of Melted Cheese Guy's sandwich and bites his lower lip. He screams as he tries to pull it off, severely stretching his lip. A pack of squirrels kidnap Gary by carrying him up a tree and into their burrow.]
Gary: [clawing for freedom] Ahh! They're storing me for winter! Ahh!!
Jeff: My face! [The squirrels feed on Jeff's face, leaving him as a realistic, half-eaten corn cob.]
Hank: [A squirrel bursts out of Hank's shirt.] AHH!! I mean, it only came through my shirt, but still, WAAAAAAHH!!
[The squirrels continue their rampage, biting everyone mercilessly. Doughnut Sheriff desperately shakes off the squirrels eating his body as he stumbles up to Gumball and Darwin.]
Doughnut Sheriff: Who is responsible for this?!?
Margaret Robinson: [Points at Gumball and Darwin.] Meh!
Gumball and Darwin: [look at her and gasp]
[That evening, Gumball and Darwin, dressed in orange jumpsuits, are picking up roadside litter.]
Gumball: I can't believe it!
Darwin: Yeah, soaking those nuts in prune juice was overkill.
Gumball: No, I meant I can't believe Mrs. Robinson could be that evil.
Darwin: Dude, no one is truly evil.
Gumball: Darwin, she's "blame-two-kids-for-her-crimes-and-make-them-do-community-service" evil. Nah, she's more evil than that. She's "heart-so-dark-that-it's-a-black-hole" evil... [Thinks again] "Wall-Street" evil! [Whispering] Dang it, still not right. [Gasp] She's "ads-before-your-video-loads" evil!
Darwin: [As he speaks, an aura of light appears behind him.] Gumball! There's no such thing as evil people, just ordinary people who do bad things because they're unhappy.
Darwin: What? [The light behind him grows more intense]
Gumball: JUMP! [Gumball tackles Darwin out of the way before the car can hit him.]
[They watch in horror as the cackling Mrs. Robinson drives her car recklessly down the sidewalk, knocking over a mailbox. She drives into the street to purposefully graze two cars parked on the roadside and drives on.]
Gumball: That looks pretty evil to me.
Darwin: No, nobody can be completely evil.
My Favorite Things
[The next morning, Gary rings the Robinsons’ doorbell and prepares to put a letter through the mail slot. Mrs. Robinson throws the door open, slamming it into Gary’s face and leaving his motionless arm stuck through the slot.]
[Song: The Wicked Song]
Pain and regret and frustration and sadness. Misery, turmoil, and anger and madness.
[Mrs. Robinson happily skips out to the sidewalk and lets a butterfly land on her hand, only to blow it into a spider-web. A spider descends to devour it.]
The smell of the garbage, the taste of despair.
[Mrs. Robinson dances down the sidewalk and kicks over her neighbors’ garbage bins.]
These simple things leave me walking on air.
[Mrs. Robinson happily smells the rancid, fly-ridden garbage before dancing away.]
[Mrs. Robinson skips into a nearby yard where Mr. Small stands watering his plants with a hose. As he is unaware of her presence, she successfully snatches his hedge trimmers from his tool belt and cuts off the three giant flowers standing behind him. She tosses the trimmers back into his tool belt and frolics away just as Mr. Small turns to stare in shock at his beheaded flowers.]
Toothache and heartburn and bad halitosis.
[Mrs. Robinson opens someone’s mailbox.]
Hay-fever, bunions, and deep-vein thrombosis.
[She pulls out all the letters inside and gleefully tosses them in the air like confetti, leaving them scattered about on the ground.]
A trip to the dentist: the sound of the drill.
[At a local building, Principal Brown steps out of his car and goes to attend to business. As Hank, standing nearby, washes a window with a squeegee, Mrs. Robinson tap-dances up to the building.]
These are things that will give me a thrill!
[With a spin, Mrs. Robinson grabs up Hank’s bucket and blissfully tosses the dirty water onto Principal Brown's car. She drops the bucket and dances away just as Principal Brown returns from his business.]
When the milk spills. When your dog's ill. When all hope takes flight.
[Principal Brown is shocked to see dirty water splashed on his car and assumes Hank responsible. Angered, he tackles Hank.]
When everyone else feels incredibly sad...
[Goblin has just taken money from an ATM. As he puts it in his wallet, Mrs. Robinson comes up to him. She takes his hands and merrily dances with him for a moment, snatching his wallet while he is distracted. Only after Mrs. Robinson has left does Goblin notice his wallet is missing. As the confused Goblin searches for it on his person, Mrs. Robinson dances past Gumball and Darwin, who stare at her, shocked by her deeds.]
...my world fills with pure delight.
[With a can of spray paint, Mrs. Robinson changes the number on a speed limit sign from “30” to “800.”]
[Standing next to her is Billy, happily licking an ice cream cone. He and Mrs. Robinson watch two cars collide. Billy observes it with horror and Mrs. Robinson with satisfaction. As Billy stares, Mrs. Robinson slaps the ice cream cone out of his hand and onto the ground.]
[Mrs. Robinson leaves, but when Billy sheds a tear, she returns and catches it in a glass. She drinks it and is satisfied. As she leaves, she throws away the glass, which shatters on Billy’s head.]
When you slip up. When you trip up. When you stub your toe.
[Marvin locks his car, but drops his keys. He reaches down to grab them, but pulls his back and drops his cane.]
[Mrs. Robinson skips up to Marvin and picks up his keys, but just as he reaches for them, she tosses them into his car through his barely-opened driver side window. He glares at her as she dances away.]
I point and I cackle, I clap and I laugh, and happiness starts…
Marvin: Why you!
[Marvin sticks his arm through the window, but his arm is too short. Mrs. Robinson returns, and since the car rests precariously at the top of a steep slope, she nudges it with her hip.]
[With his arm stuck in the window, Marvin is pulled along by his car as it rolls rapidly down the slope. Gumball and Darwin watch in horror.]
[Then, Mrs. Robinson hops across a row of cars, caving their roofs in, shattering their windows, popping open their hoods, and setting off their alarms.]
Gumball: See! There's no goodness in that woman! She's a malevolent marionette whose heart belongs to darkness.
Darwin: No! I'll prove there's some good in her.
[At Elmore Hospital, Gumball and Darwin look through a window, admiring all the newborn babies. As they look, an excited Mrs. Robinson bursts through the ward doors and runs up to the window. On seeing that everything is fine, however, she becomes angry.]
Margaret Robinson: Meh meh meh!
Darwin: Yeah, I know. I lied to get you to come here. There was no power outage, and all the patients are fine, but look. Look into the eyes of that newborn baby. [Focusing his attention on the baby] Remember the time before your first "meh-meh"?
Margaret Robinson: [Pretends to be touched by the baby’s innocence] Meh...
Darwin: Surely, you were once like that: innocent and pure.
Gumball: [Reading the tag on Mrs. Robinson's wig] Nope. It says here she's seventy percent cotton, thirty percent polyester, and made in...the fiery pits of the underworld.
Darwin: Mrs. Robinson, try to return to that time of innocence and sweetness that yo-
[Having snuck into the room, Mrs. Robinson swaps the name tags of two babies.]
Darwin: Did you just swap their name tags?!?
[Mrs. Robinson leaves the room and returns to the boys.]
[The mothers and fathers of the two babies come into the room. Each father takes a moment to notice that the child in his arms looks like the offspring of the other set of parents. Assuming the worst, the two fathers begin to fight. All the infants cry as the fathers battle it out, and Mrs. Robinson watches from outside, chuckling wickedly.]
Margaret Robinson: Heheheheh!
Darwin: How can you enjoy this?!? You're messing with people's lives, and one of these days, all these...
[Mrs. Robinson looks disinterestedly at Darwin, whose words she hears as similar to her own incoherent speech.]
Darwin: Meh meh meh meh meh meh, meh meh meh meh. Meh meh meh meh meh meh meh. Meh meh meh me-
[The episode returns to original perspective.]
Gumball: Dude, don't bother. It's not getting through.
Darwin: You're right. I'll try it in a language she can understand. [speaks in Mrs. Robinson’s own incoherent form of speech] Meh meh meh meh, meh meh meh. Meh meh me-
[This time, Mrs. Robinson hears Darwin’s words as understandable English, but is so perplexed by the inanity of what he seems to be saying that her eyes widen.]
Darwin: Three times did the cheese move sideways to Switzerland by radio, but she never licked that parking permit.
[The episode returns to normal perspective.]
[As Darwin rambles on, Mrs. Robinson, now standing by the door, squirts hand sanitizer from a dispenser all over the floor.]
Darwin: Meh meh meh meh meh.
Bandage Doctor: [Bursts through the door] HEY! You can't fight here- [Slips on the liquid and falls] AHH!
Margaret Robinson: [Cackles]
[Mrs. Robinson dances out of the room with a twirl and stands with her hands clasped together in joy.]
Darwin: Why doesn't she understand?
[Mrs. Robinson spins the arrow sign on the wall pointing to the Emergency Room so that it points in the opposite direction. Satisfied, she skips down the hall.]
Gumball: Mmm, yeah... it's maybe not that you don't speak her language. It's that she doesn't have a soul.
Mrs. Robinson's Disgrace: The Private Diary of a Wicked Lady
[Later, Gumball and Darwin are standing on the Robinsons' porch. Darwin rings the doorbell.]
Darwin: All we gotta do is find out what made her so evil.
Gaylord Robinson: [Opens the door] [Grunts in irritation] What do you want?
Gumball: Oh, hi, Mr. Robinson! We're here to-uh...offer you a free house-cleaning service!
Gaylord Robinson: Why?
Darwin: Uh...to raise...money for our school.
Gaylord Robinson: You're cleaning my house for free in order to raise money?
Gumball: Uh...see how bad our logic is? Proof that our school needs more money to give us a better-er education.
Gaylord Robinson: On one hand, I don't trust you. On the other hand, I DON'T TRUST YOU!
Gumball: [Gumball’s hand emerges from Mr. Robinson's shirt collar] But, on the third hand, free child labor!
Gaylord Robinson: Mmm...okay.
Gumball: [Whispers] Thanks. [Pinches Mr. Robinson's nose playfully.]
[Inside, the attic door in the ceiling is open, and above the pull-down stairs, small puffs of dust are seen coming from the attic. Up in the attic, Gumball and Darwin are dusting furniture.]
Gumball: Cleaning is kind of weird, isn't it? You're just moving dirt out of your house to make space for the dirt you'll bring tomorrow.
Darwin: [Finds a diary] Look! Her diary! [takes it and goes over to Gumball] If we test each page for pheromone levels, we can determine whether or not she experienced a childhood trauma that made her turn evil.
Gumball: [Snatches the diary from Darwin] ...or we could just read it.
Darwin: [Trailing behind Gumball]...or we could just read it.
Gumball: [Reading the diary] "Meh meh meh meh meh meh, meh meh meh. Meh meh meh meh meh."
Darwin: Read it properly!
[Gumball shows the open diary to Darwin. Much to his surprise, the pages bear only repeated uses of the word "meh."]
[Out of the corner of his eye, Darwin notices a photo album.]
Darwin: [picks it up] Here! A photo album!
[Darwin sets it down and opens it for them both to see. The first photo shows a much younger Margaret Robinson sitting in a boat on a lake, smiling wickedly.]
Darwin: She looks happy there.
Gumball: Her brother doesn't.
[In the same photo, next to the boat, Margaret’s helpless brother is seen drowning. Slightly concerned, Darwin flips to the next page. The next photo is of Margaret’s first day at Elmore Junior High.]
Darwin: Look, first day of school!
Gumball: Yeah, probably the last for a few others.
[Margaret gazes happily at the camera as the school building burns behind her. A fire crew is seen attempting to stop the blaze. Another page is flipped. The next photo shows Margaret as a child in the living room of her home at Christmas time.]
Darwin: Christmas! [gasps as he sees Margaret fanning the hearth fire to burn Santa as he climbs down the chimney] Santa...[distraught voice, closes the book] I don't wanna see any more!
Gumball: [Reopens the book] Well, wait a minute. What about the baby pictures? They gotta be cute.
[The photo is of a human hand finishing the stitching of the infant Margaret.]
[Gumball flips to the next page. The photo shows Margaret as a toddler, ripping off a teddy bear’s head.]
Gumball: Oh! I guess she was just born that way, dude.
[Mr. Robinson, who stands in the shadows behind them, begins to speak as he approaches them. Startled by his voice, Gumball and Darwin quickly turn to see him.]
Gaylord Robinson: Margaret is and will always be a mystery. Nothing happened in her life to justify the way she is. Some people aren't looking for anything logical; they can't be bought, reasoned, or negotiated with. Sometimes, man just wants to watch the world burn.
Gumball: Uh...are you saying Mrs. Robinson's a man?
Gaylord Robinson: [Shocked] What? No!
Gumball: [Quietly] Wait, y-you said "man", Mr.- [trails off]
Gaylord Robinson: [Puts his hands on his hips and stomps toward them in frustration] I meant "man" as in "mankind!"
Darwin: But, she isn't kind.
Gaylord Robinson: No, I-I-I [Defeated] Ah, just get out of here.
Caution: Provoking Hazard
[Having left the Robinson house, Gumball and Darwin walk to the end of the yard. Darwin is holding a chocolate egg.]
Darwin: Nah, you didn't imagine it. I heard "man" too.
Gumball: He said "man", right? [Sigh] Anyway, what have you got there?
Darwin: You'll find out!
[Mrs. Robinson pulls up to her driveway. As she parks her car, she sees Harold biking toward her and squints maliciously at him.]
[Mrs. Robinson slams her car door into Harold’s bike, knocking him down, and grins in satisfaction.]
Darwin: [raises his voice to be heard by her] Oooh! A delicious chocolate egg with a potential choking hazard inside! NOM NOM NOM NOM!
[As Mrs. Robinson steps out of her car, Darwin pretends to eat the egg. He drops to his knees and pretends to choke.]
Margaret Robinson: [gasps, feigning concern] Meh meh!
[Mrs. Robinson runs up to the boys, but runs right past Darwin to take the egg, ignoring him completely. Disgusted, Gumball looks pessimistically at Mrs. Robinson as she tosses the egg in the air and eats it for herself. As she savors it, her evil eyes suddenly widen and she spits something out of her mouth. She catches it and sees that it’s a tiny toy car.]
Darwin: [continues his fake choking for a moment] Oh, come on!
Margaret Robinson: Meh.
[Mrs. Robinson walks off toward her house, tossing the toy car away disdainfully. It falls into Darwin’s open mouth and becomes lodged in his throat, causing him to choke for real! Gumball frantically tries to save him, but Darwin pushes him away.]
Gumball: Hey! Dude! Let me help!!
[Darwin shakes his head as he chokes and desperately points to Mrs. Robinson, signaling for her attention.]
Gumball: MRS. ROBINSON!! PLEASE HELP!!!
[Mrs. Robinson hears him as she opens the front door. She crossly turns to look as Gumball motions desperately for her to take notice of Darwin’s situation. Refusing to help, she starts to close the door behind her, but turns to look at the choking Darwin with the biggest, most incredibly sinister smile.]
Gumball: [Runs to Darwin] Hold on!
Darwin: [Pushes Gumball away, still gasping for air] no...no...
Gumball: Come on!
[As Darwin chokes, he looks into Mrs. Robinson’s eyes, and her terrible eyes gaze into his. Still smiling, she mockingly waves goodbye as she slowly closes the door.]
[Desperate, Darwin prompts his brother to save him, and Gumball slaps him on the back, dislodging the object from his throat. Panting heavily, the utterly bewildered Darwin reflects.]
Darwin: [Panting] She smiled! I was choking...she looked straight at me, and she SMILED! That woman is evil personified!
Gumball: I don't wanna say "I told you so," but... [giggles a bit] well, you know how much I like saying "I told you so."
Darwin: She needs to pay. That is the only way for her to learn. [roars in fury] SHE NEEDS TO PAAAAAYYYY!!!!
Operation: Pop the Puppet
[At Elmore Mall, Gumball uses binoculars to search the parking lot and sees Mrs. Robinson returning from shopping with a full cart and with her usual scowl.]
Gumball: [whispers into a walkie-talkie] Target in sight. Do you have the car keys?
Darwin: [speaks into his own walkie-talkie] Affirmative. "Operation: Pop the Puppet" is a go.
Gumball: Roger that.
Darwin: Are you sure we need walkie-talkies?
Gumball: Not really.
[Gumball and Darwin toss their walkie-talkies away. They are standing next to their family car.]
Gumball: [Pretends to have a walkie-talkie and imitates static] Step one: we leave the keys in the door.
Darwin: [Imitates static and puts the keys in the door’s lock] Check!
Gumball: [Static sound] Step two: Mrs. Robinson walks past and steals the keys... because she's evil.
Darwin: [Static sound] Step three: we catch her in the act, take a photo, and present it to the authorities!
Gumball: [Static sound] Step four: disrespectful victory dance.
[The brothers partake in a mocking victory dance.]
Gumball: Okay, let's go.
[The boys hide behind the car as Mrs. Robinson walks past and stops to look. She sees the car keys sitting nicely in the key slot.]
Margaret Robinson: Hmmmm!! [Cackle]
[Mrs. Robinson wraps and ties a bandana around her face like a gangster mask and hijacks the Wattersons' car. As she drives away, Gumball captures a photo of the crime, but their smiles are quickly replaced by looks of worry as they realize the magnitude of their mistake.]
Gumball: [Static sound] Uh...step five...?
[As Tritsch-Tratsch-Polka plays in the background, Mrs. Robinson drives the car into the mall. She drives through the glass front doors and Felicity leaps out of the way, screaming. Mrs. Robinson drives in circles around the fountain, forcing shoppers to flee. She drives up the escalator, chasing shoppers up to the next floor. From there, she drives on, chasing shoppers past stores. She drives through a food court and plows through a station of pay phones, sending them flying. A woman who’d been using one of the payphones is left standing with the detached phone in her hand.]
Guard: [Steps out of a grocery market and yells into his walkie-talkie] I don't know! They're wearing a bandana!
[A horde of shoppers rush into the market with Mrs. Robinson following.]
[The rampaging Mrs. Robinson speeds down a market aisle past Jackie Wilson, who leaps screaming to safety. She clings to the shelf for dear life and looks on, trembling. Gumball and Darwin, still in hot pursuit, show up seconds later.]
Darwin: She crashed into the cherries!
Darwin: They're genetically modified!
[The two duck to the floor as they are avalanched by oversized cherries almost as large as they are!]
Darwin: She's heading toward the sports department!
[Gumball and Darwin catch up to Mrs. Robinson with Gumball on a bike and Darwin running alongside. It appears as if the three are in a high speed chase.]
Gumball: Stop the car! The police are on their way!
Darwin: Go for it, man! I can't go on!
[The car is revealed to be stuck. The front end is propped up on a running treadmill next to a wall of TVs showing a moving background. Gumball is riding an exercise bike, and beside him, Darwin is running on another treadmill. Darwin screams as he is flung away by the rapidly moving treadmill.]
Gumball: I got this!
[Taking matters into his own hands, Gumball quickly jumps off the exercise bike into the passenger seat of the car. Mrs. Robinson looks at Gumball with worry as he fastens his seat belt.]
Gumball: Time to put the brakes on this!
[Gumball pulls the emergency brake and the velocity of the treadmill propels the car backwards out of the sports department, back into the market, through a stack of cereal boxes, through a beauty and hair products section, out of the market, past the destroyed phone station, down the escalator and out of the mall. It shoots through the parking lot, knocking over a shopping cart, and finally crashes into a lamppost. Those outside watch this in shock.]
[A dazed Mrs. Robinson steps out of the car as an angered Darwin runs up to her. Gumball follows suit, leaving the vehicle to join Darwin's side and express his disgust for the woman.]
Darwin: MRS. ROBINSON! You need to learn that your actions have consequences!
[Mrs. Robinson looks up in a show of shame]
Gumball: One day, you'll understand why we had to stop you. It's for your own good.
Margaret Robinson: [Shakes the boys’ hands] Meh...meh...
Gumball: [Notices that he is suddenly holding the bandana] ...what the what?
Doughnut Sheriff: [Holds out his pointing hand like a gun] Drop the bandana and put your hands behind your back!
[Mrs. Robinson drives past in her own car, giving Gumball and Darwin a wicked parting smile and a mocking wave goodbye. Gumball and Darwin stare in utter disbelief as she drives on, leaving them behind. Suddenly, Darwin yells out in frustration. Startled, Gumball’s attention immediately shifts to his brother and Doughnut Sheriff intensifies his concentration as he holds his pretend gun.]
Darwin: [Frustrated] ISN'T THERE ANY JUSTICE IN THIS UNIVERSE?!?
[The damaged lamppost suddenly falls over and hits the back of Mrs. Robinson’s car. She loses control and crashes into a sign, which falls on her car as it runs backwards into a telephone pole. From there, it runs forward into the back of a parked car and backward again to hit and dislodge a fire hydrant. A surge of water blasts Mrs. Robinson’s car off the ground. It somersaults into the middle of the highway, where a gas truck and a tire truck simultaneously hit it, crushing it like a soda can. Mrs. Robinson is launched out of the car and as she falls to the street, the gas truck’s tank springs a leak. Severed by the impact, the wires between the telephone pole and its adjacent pole hang limp and sparking, and gasoline from the truck pools on the ground below Mrs. Robinson. Aware of the danger, Hank and George exit their trucks and run for it.]
Gumball: Somebody call an ambulance!
[A sparking electrical wire makes contact with the pool of gasoline, igniting a massive explosion that propels Mrs. Robinson miles into the air.]
Margaret Robinson: MEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH!
[As Mrs. Robinson descends, a passing plane clips her with its wing, quickening her fall.]
[Mrs. Robinson finally hits the ground. As an ambulance slowly backs toward her, she slowly, weakly lifts her head to watch. Gumball and Darwin turn away and close their eyes, cringing as the ambulance runs her over off-screen.]