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Gumball's New Bod

[Gumball and Darwin walk into the locker room]
Gumball: Hey, Darwin, I think I'm getting leaner. Can you see my abs? I feel like I have a new one. [Tries flexing]
Darwin: Mmm, no. But your bummy looks pretty ripped.
Gumball: My what, now?
Darwin: Bummy. How your butt turns into your tummy.
Gumball: Oh! I call it my gutootie! Looks pretty buff when I suck it in. [Inhales deeply, while his butt goes to his chest. He flexes and his butt goes back down] All right, now to get dressed. Please engage locker room anti-peripheral vision.
[Camera zooms in; both begin grunting while changing]
Gumball: Okay, re-engage non-awkward eye line protocol.
[Camera zooms out; Gumball has a thread tied around his body]
Gumball: What?
Darwin: Um, you look like a cross between a '90s R&B diva and a pork roast.
Gumball: Oh. Re-engage eye line.
[Camera zooms into Gumball's face]
Gumball: Better?
[Gumball's ears and crotch area are tied by the thread]
Darwin: If by "better," you mean a really inappropriate birthday gift. That's just a piece of string. You must have gotten someone else's gym bag.
Gumball: Well, what am I supposed to wear?!
[Gumball walks home naked with Darwin. Gumball is wearing the bag on his head]
Darwin Dude, maybe you should have worn that bag a little lower down. Not everyone knows about our eye line protocol thing.
[Idaho approaches Gumball and Darwin; Idaho gasps, then explodes]

The USB

Gumball: Whose bag is this, anyway? There's nothing in here except for this. [pulls out a USB stick]
Darwin: A USB stick?
Gumball: [loads the USB onto the computer] Okay, let's see what's on here. How about this one?
Gumball and Darwin: "Love."
[Gumball clicks on a file titled "LOVE.jpg"; a video starts playing]
Darwin: "A poem for my love"

"How can one so very prickly be so very soft?"
"You came into my world, my love, and raised my heart aloft."
"When I look into your dreamy eyes, I never want to stop."
"You filled my world with sunbeams and rainbows, and make my heart go pop."

Gumball: Got a very strong taste of cheese, my eyes keep rolling in annoyance, [Hits his forehead] and I can't stop face-slapping. Alan!
Darwin: Oh, it's Alan's stuff. That explains the string. [Nosily] Should we take a sneaky peek at his private photos?
Gumball: [Nosily] Mm..., All right then! Ah. This one's called [Nosily] "Total Serenity."
[Gumball pulls up a picture of Carmen and Alan; then notices Neck Beard naked in the background]
Gumball: [Scoffs] Or total nudity. Oh, this one's called [Nosily] "A Beautiful Spot."
[Pulls up another picture of Carmen and Alan, but notices a dog about to do its business in the background]
Darwin: To relieve yourself.
[Both laugh]

Alan Keane's Vision

Gumball: Okay, what's this? [Loads a document: MYVISION.doc] "My Vision" By Alan Keane. A manifesto on how I will gain the power I need to purge Elmore Junior High of its greatest problem."
Gumball and Darwin: [In total shock] WHAT?!
Gumball: Is this for real?
Darwin: [In a whisper] You better read it.
Gumball: "To become school president, I might need to work a little on my appearance. The more serious a leader..."
[Gumball's voice turns into Alan's voice, as he reads his vision]
Alan: ...a leader looks, the more seriously he will be taken. [changes to an appearance consisting of a scar and glasses] The next step is to alter my voice, lowering it [lowers his voice] to give it a little more [voice is lowered to an extremely deep, monstrous voice] gravitas. Maybe not that low. [voice is adjusted to the right deep pitch, and his accent is adjusted to a Southern one] But then just a hint of an accent for approachability.
[Scene cuts to an Egghead playing chess with Alan]
Alan: [Still talking to the fourth wall] Then, I'll need to develop my strategic mind. A leader must be thinking at least two steps ahead.
[He picks up chess piece of the king; he drops it. The chess piece falls to its side, unintentionally signifying a resignation]
Alan: [Talks to Egghead] Checkmate.
[Puts piece back upright]
Alan: [Talks back to fourth wall] You see, people are a lot like pawns in a chess game, and you need to know how to influence them.
[Scene cuts to Alan, outside with Clayton]
Clayton: Hey, you're right! It's a great idea! You should apply!
Alan: What? Little ol' me? But, I'm just a simple country boy from the sticks. Now, what would I know about them there politics?
Clayton: Nah, you'd make a great school president.
Alan: [Talking back to fourth wall] The best way to achieve your goal is to make people think it was their idea.
Clayton: Uh, who are you talking to?
Alan: [Back to Clayton] That is not something you need to worry about.
Clayton: Okay!
[Alan picks up Clayton]
Clayton: Well, all I was saying is that you would make a great school president, Alan!
[Alan drops him on the bench with Teri, eavesdropping aside]
Teri: Hmm, that's a good idea! It is now my idea.
[Scene cuts to Teri talking with Masami, Penny, Carmen, and Sarah; Alan is eavesdropping aside]
Teri: So, all I'm saying is that Alan would make a great school president.
[As all the girls talk in agreement, Alan turns to the fourth wall]
Alan: You see, people just love to take credit for other people's ideas.
[Sarah, knowing this idea, runs to Tobias and Juke]
Sarah: Alan would make a great school president.
Tobias and Juke: Hmm.
[Tobias runs to Bobert and Jamie]
Tobias: Alan would make a great school president!
[Bobert runs to Banana Joe, holding a milkshake]
Bobert: Alan would make a great school president.
Banana Joe: Hmm. Surely, once you're done shaking it, it should be called a milkshook.
Alan: But sadly, not every pawn on the chessboard can be used.
[Alan is shown holding Banana Joe, and he drops him in the dumpster]
Alan: The next step is to motivate people to react. Nothing brings about change more quickly than crisis.
[Gumball and Darwin walk in the hallway]
Gumball: [gasps] Grade tax?
[ Gumball takes a poster printed with the words "GRADE TAX"]
Gumball: [Reading] "Your grades will be taxed to provide better grades for the less academically gifted." What the what?!
Darwin: Dude, you would totally benefit from that system.
Gumball: Tax is like shared food in a picnic. I'm not bringing the ham if everyone else bringing the salad!
Darwin: No, you're more likely to bring the wasps.
Gumball: I am not gonna stand for it!
Darwin: See if you got a legal and possible alternative?
Gumball: Hmm, nah. I'm just gonna [Speaking angrily, with fire surrounding him] RIOT!
[Students riot by throwing school property and arson the school hallway; Principal Brown, Mr. Small, and Mr. Corneille are scared, standing in the lounge]
Nigel Brown: This is terrible!
[Tobias appears in front of the screen]
Tobias: I'm unhappy with something, but I don't know what it is, so I'm just gonna smash everything up!
Nigel Brown: Their argument is sound, though.
Mr. Corneille: But we weren't even gonna tax their grades.
Nigel Brown: Oh yeah. Counter-riot!
[Principal Brown smashes everything in the lounge; scene cuts back to reality, with Gumball smashing imaginary objects in the bedroom]
Darwin: You do realize we're just reading his journal where none of this is real?
Gumball: Yeah, but this is exactly how it would happen if it was happening. [Faceplants into the floor]
Darwin: Okay. "The next step is to stand as a candidate myself and offer a solution."
[Scene cuts to Alan on stage, with signs popping out, saying "ALAN FOR PRESIDENT!" Alan floats above a podium, speaking through a microphone]
Alan: The people have awoken. We must all stand together; let me be your voice and tell those in charge that we have had enough!
[Students applaud; Alan clears his threat and acquires mechanical arms]
Alan: Let us think one moment and realize it is time to change. We must march forward, look to the future, and see that the time of celebration is now! And if I don't deliver that for you, you may strike me down! [Strikes himself down, but rises up] Vote for me.
[Students applaud; scene cuts to walls covered with propaganda-like posters reading "VOTE FOR ALAN" except one, saying "VOTE FOR BANANA JOE"]
Alan: The next step is: a subtle advertising campaign will help me stand out from my competitors.
[Alan puts up a poster, while Banana Joe walks on-screen]
Banana Joe: Huh? "DON'T LET ELMORE SLIP UP! BOYCOTT BANANA JOE?" What the—
[Hector steps on Banana Joe, and slips up. Leslie enters the scene while Hector is still in mid-air]
Leslie: "DONT LET THE EVIL TAKE ROOT; PROTECT THE YOUTH?" What the—
[Leslie gets crushed by Hector. A poster depicting Hector holding a child flies onto the screen.]
Hector: "ONCE HE HAS FINISHED EATING EVERYTHING IN THE CAFETERIA, WHO WILL BE NEXT?"
[Students walk across the screen, promoting Alan. Alan floats on-screen]
Alan: [Talking to the fourth wall] Once selected, I will parch the school of its worst problem, mainly sadness.
[Scene cuts back to Gumball and Darwin in the bedroom]
Darwin: That doesn't sound so bad.
[Scene cuts back to Alan]
Alan: By forcibly sending sad people to happy camps.
[Scene cuts back to Gumball and Darwin in the bedroom; Gumball and Darwin cringe. After, scene cuts to a simple demonstration of a happy camp protocol]
Alan: We will select those people who need a smile on their face, and we will fix them. Inside the facility, they will be exposed to only joyful thoughts. We will monitor their progress with round-the-clock CCTV, and they will partake in happy, healthy activities. We will continue the process until every person in Elmore Junior High bears a warm smile on their face. Anyone who strays from the path of true happiness will be corrected. My vision is for there to be a happy camp in every town, state, and country across the world.
[Scene cuts to reality. Gumball and Darwin's jaws literally drop down the stairs. Gumball tries to speak, but his speech is indistinct]
Darwin: What?
[Gumball and Darwin roll their jaws back up]
Gumball: If the road to oblivion is paved with good intentions, Alan is about to build a freeway.
Darwin: What are we gonna do?
Gumball: What would you do if you had a chance to stop the worst dictator in the world has ever seen, while he was still a kid?
Darwin: You mean—
[Darwin makes a signal, signifying they have to kill him. Gumball nods and makes another signal. Darwin does the same thing. This goes on for a few times until the following occurs]
Darwin: Too much?
Gumball: Yeah.

The Mission

[Scene cuts to Elmore Junior High. Gumball and Darwin are in a locker]
Gumball: Our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to take out Alan before Alan takes over the world. Should we get captured or eliminated, any knowledge of our mission will be denied. This message will self-destruct in ten seconds. Good luck. [Bomb beeps] Okay, we can get out now.
Darwin: We can't! The door's locked!
Gumball: What do you mean it's locked?
Darwin: Dude, it's not called a locker for nothing!
[They struggle to get out]
Gumball: [Sighs] We should've done this outside.
[The bomb explodes. Scene cuts to Alan innocently floating through the school hallway. Gumball is in a vent with a pin. He waits above the vent opening while Alan goes into Gumball's desired spot. As soon as he can pop Alan with his pin, he opens the vent opening and jumps through, but he fails, for his head is too big to fit through the vent opening]
Gumball: Curse this big head!
[Darwin tries sniping him with a blow dart gun]
Darwin: Activate sniper mode.
[He puts in the dart, aims for him, and extends his eye to a sniper-like shape. He tries to aim at him, but his sniper eye aims all over the place]
Gumball: Dude, what are you doing? [Gasps] There he is!
[He tries shooting, but ends up sucking the dart and choking on it. He falls. Walking behind Alan, Gumball pushes the students and steals a stapler from Mr. Corneille]
Gumball: Goodbye, Adam.
[He triggers the stapler on the wrong side, and the staple shoots to his forehead. He falls. Darwin uses a laser pointer to burn Alan. He checks on it to see if it is working, but on the wrong side, and he ends up burning his foot.]
Darwin: Ah!
[He falls. Scene cuts to Alan in the bathroom. Using gloves to eliminate his tracks, Gumball tries to strangle his string, but it does not kill him. He fails. Darwin puts a pin on his chair whenever he goes to class. But since Alan does not sit on the chair but floats above it, he is not killed. Darwin fails. Gumball pushes Alan out the window. Obviously, he fails. Scene cuts to the school library. Gumball tries to pop him using the pin, but fails]
Gumball: Oh, why can't I do it?!
Darwin: Maybe it's your conscience.
Gumball: Weird. It's never been an issue before.
Darwin: The truth is, we can't judge someone on their actions he's yet to commit, no matter how bad we think they are.
Alan: Are you guys gonna tell me what's going on here?
Gumball: We read your plans to take over the school, and we know all about your evil happy camps!
Alan: What do you mean, evil? I want to become school president so I can help those students who feel a bit down and offer them a chance to go the Lake Camp at weekends!
Gumball: Oh... Oh, right...
Alan: So you can stop trying to assassinate me now.
Gumball: Oh, [Laughs nervously] we literally thought that you were a dictator and conquer the world.
Darwin: Yeah, sorry. But your plan was so convincing. You could've definitely pulled it off.
Gumball: Well, I guess all that's left to do is laugh at how silly we've been.

Alan Keane's New Vision

[All laugh. But as Gumball and Darwin exit off-screen, Alan stops laughing. He turns on a library computer and types:]
Alan: "MY NEW VISION."
[He types "by Alan Keane"]
Alan: [Back to his deep Southern voice] "A manifesto on how to forcibly seize power and eradicate sadness across the globe."
[He laughs evilly. But then Gumball enters and pops him with the pin]
Gumball: Should've let us leave the room first.
[Episode ends.]
veTAWOGEPISODESfont Transcript
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