When Richard gives Larry’s hairdresser a bad review for saying he’s bald, he gets offered a free haircut. This inspires Gumball and Darwin to go on a reviewing spree across town, forcing Larry to give them stuff with the threat of a bad review. But, just because the customer is always right doesn’t mean that what they’re doing isn’t wrong.
The episode starts with Principal Brown getting another daily haircut from Larry. As Larry vacuums up the excess hair, he reveals Richard, seeking a trim. Larry tells Richard that he cannot do so because of Richard being bald, causing him to freak out and demand a haircut regardless. Reluctantly, Larry trims a single strand of hair, causing Richard to tear up and leave in embarassment.
Back at home, Richard is throwing a tantrum when Darwin interjects, asking why Richard did not simply tell Larry he was not happy with the haircut when he was there, though Richard refuses to do such a thing to such a lowlife. Gumball suggests that he instead write a mean review of Larry online as to ruin his life in complete anonymity. However, unable to operate his laptop, Gumball takes over, with his review causing Richard and Darwin to wince in its intensity. Larry calls almost immediately after, chagrined in admitting that the customer is always right and promising Richard and his family free haircuts. Recognizing their newfound power, Gumball and Darwin decide to terrorize Larry with scathing reviews to reap the benefits.
First, they manage to avoid paying for an expensive dinner and get free desserts out of Larry. Next, they force him to acquire a new animal for the Elmore Zoo. Then, at the cinema, they force Larry to create his own movie where he plays every single role as to make up for an otherwise boring one.
Outside the cinema, Tobias suddenly rides by on a one-wheel hoverboard, splashing water on Gumball and Darwin. Angry, Gumball attempts to give Tobias a one-star review, but because he is unable to, he confronts Larry at the shoe store to force him to design a review website. The two then go around town reviewing people, but it quickly spirals out of control as people become too afraid to do their jobs at the risk of dropping in ratings. They eventually meet up with Richard, who is too afraid to even move.
Realizing that they have gone too far, Gumball catches Larry's attention and, as the only person in Elmore with a high enough rating, beg him to give the website zero stars to kill it off. Larry agrees under one condition: Richard must admit that he is bald. Richard tearfully refuses, so Larry decides to instead give the website five stars so that it remains in power for eternity. Right as he is about to tap the five star rating, though, a beam of light shines off of Richard's head, blinding Larry and causing him to accidentally tap zero stars, instantly restoring Elmore to the way it was before.
Larry angrily yells at Richard that the light shining off of his forehead was definitive proof of Richard's baldness. Right as Richard is about to admit it, though, he and Larry are run over by a taxi, abruptly ending the episode.
[The episode begins in a barber shop. Larry is just finishing up Principal Brown's haircut]
Larry: There, all done. Let me show you the back.
[Larry holds a mirror behind Principal Brown. He periodically lowers it down his right side, then up his left, while seeking approval]
Nigel Brown: Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. [Gasps] Perfect. Same time tomorrow?
Larry: Of course, sir.
[Principal Brown gets up to leave, and Larry begins vacuuming the copious amount of fur covering the shop's interior. Targeting a large pile by the window, he discovers Richard reading a newspaper]
Larry: Oh, Mr. Watterson, I didn't see you there.
[Richard gets in the barber chair]
Larry: So, how can I help? [Puts the cape over Richard]
Richard: Just a trim, please. Something like this. [Shows him a photo of an outlandish punk hairstyle]
Larry: Uh, sir, there is a slight problem.
Richard: If you're worried I can't pay, I can assure you I went through my wife's purse this morning.
Larry: [Timid] Actually, I had another concern. [Streaks his finger along Richard's scalp] You, uh, appear to be... bald.
["Bald" echoes, as Richard falls to floor in slow-motion, squealing]
Richard: [Angry] I'm not bald! [Returns to the chair] Bald people are a joke!
Larry: [Lifts his hat] Uh, I'm bald, sir.
Richard: Exactly! Listen, I came here for a haircut! I'm not leaving until I get one!
Larry: [Squints at Richard's lone strand of hair] Uh, are you sure?
[Larry readies his scissors, cutting the strand as an operatic song plays. The hair slowly topples over, its appearance resembling that of a felled tree. Afterward, he brushes it from Richard's head]
Larry: Is everything okay?
Richard: Mm-hmm. [Walks away with tears in his eyes]
[Richard, still wearing the barber cape, is at home in his living room. He is pacing back and forth in front of Gumball and Darwin, who are on the sofa]
Richard: [Ranting] Disgraceful! First, he gives me this insult of a haircut, then he has the audacity to call me bald! Me! Richard Watterson! How dare he say that to me-- [Carries on in the background]
Gumball: [To Darwin] How long's he been going on like this?
[Gumball sighs, and they both take out their earplugs]
Gumball: Dude, you don't have ears. Where did you put those?
Darwin: Oh. So that's why they didn't work.
Gumball: So, how long has he been going on like this?
Darwin: About three days. [Interrupts his father] Mr. Dad, why didn't you just tell Larry there and then that you weren't happy?
Richard: And waste my precious breath on someone so deluded?! I mean, do I look like a guy who's lost his hair?!
Darwin: Uh, stand still. It's kinda hard to tell with the light bouncing off your head.
Gumball: Dad, you've gotta step up and do the right thing. Leave a mean review about Larry online and ruin his life with complete anonymity.
Richard: Hmm. That's both lazy and cowardly. [Sinister] Pass me the laptop.
[Classical guitar music plays as Richard ponders what to type. He appears to be making progress, until the guitar is abruptly cut off by the sound of multiple computer errors]
Richard: Agh! Anyone know my login? I've forgotten it.
Gumball: [Sighs; Grabs the laptop] Okay, what do you want to say?
Richard: "I left this hairdresser a sad, broken man."
Gumball: Dad, you went in a sad, broken man. The key to a good online review is to take out all the frustration you have in your life on someone who totally doesn't deserve it.
[The music resumes, with Gumball typing instead. Richard and Darwin wince at what they see on the screen]
Richard & Darwin: Ooh... Hm... Oh!
Gumball: And viola. [Hands Richard the laptop]
Richard: [Presses some keys] And... send!
[The phone rings, and Richard goes to answer it]
Larry: It's Larry.
Richard: [Gasps; To his sons] It's Larry.
Darwin: [Gasps] It's Larry!
Gumball: [Gasps] It's Larry!
Richard: [Gasps; To the phone] It's Larry!
Larry: Uh, yes, it's Larry. I'm calling about your review.
Richard: How are you so sure it was me? I used a fake name.
Larry: Well, actually, you signed the review, "Richard."
Richard: But I meant a different Richard.
Larry: A different Richard Watterson?
Richard: I have a very common name.
Larry: You uploaded your photo.
Richard: I... have a very common face?
Larry: What you said was uncalled for, mean, and frankly, full of grammatical errors. But it's my philosophy that the customer is always right, so if you take down the review, you can get free haircuts for you and your family.
Larry: [Sighs] And you have a thick head of hair.
Richard: How thick?
Larry: Quite thick?
Richard: I'll take it! [Hangs up] Now, if you kids will excuse me, I'm off to buy-- [Flicks the cape behind him; Exits the house] a com-b.
Gumball: [Excited] Did you see what happened there? All we have to do is threaten Larry with a bad review, and he'll give us free stuff! And that guy works everywhere! It's a victimless crime!
Darwin: Apart from Larry.
Gumball: Effortless. It's an effortless crime.
[Over at Chez Larry, Gumball and Darwin are treating themselves to an extravagant meal]
Gumball: [Stuffed)] Dude, we ate too much. I'm gonna loosen my belt.
Darwin: [Stuffed] Me too.
[Their stomachs expand onto the table, meeting in the middle; They belch]
Gumball & Darwin: Belly five!
[The waiter approaches them]
Larry: I hope everything was to your liking, gentlemen. Here's your check.
Gumball: Eh, I don't think we'll be paying.
Larry: And why would I give you a free meal?
Gumball: Because that's the sort of generous touch that guarantees you a glowing five star review!
Larry: I don't think so.
Darwin: Four stars it is, then.
[Darwin taps his phone screen, and the inside of the restaurant instantly transforms to that of a family diner]
Larry: [Gasps] Hey, stop that! One bad review online is all it takes to drag a place down!
Gumball: Talking back to a customer? Three stars. [Taps his phone; The diner becomes a seedy pub] Take it down to two. Maybe we can get a free dessert.
[Darwin lowers his rating, turning the bar into a dilapidated building. Hobo and Crocodile Woman are behind them, fighting over food]
Gumball: Want to try for one star, Larry?
Larry: [Ducks a thrown chair; Screams] Okay, okay, your meal is free!
Gumball: Five stars. Would come again. [Returns the restaurant to normal] We'll take the desserts to go.
Larry: We don't do takeou--
Gumball: [Threatens to change his review] Hmm?
[Gumball and Darwin travel to the Elmore Zoo, desserts in hand]
Gumball: Boooring! Ugh! Rhinos, flamingos? I've seen it all before. There's nothing new here. It's getting one star.
Larry: [Comes running up] What?! You want new animals?! Breaking the laws of nature seems kind of wrong.
Gumball: [Holds up his phone] Hmm?
Larry: [Stammers] But the customer is always right!
[A guttural groaning is heard. Gumball and Darwin look upon an abnormal creature, a mix between bird and elephant, with revulsion]
Larry: [Nervous] Ta-da.
Gumball: [Nauseated] That... is... horrific. Five stars.
[Next, they decide to go catch a movie at the theater]
Lois: So, Man Man, what can I do for you?
Man Man: Well, Miss Plane, I was in the area, and I thought I'd, uh, take a look at your tax returns.
Gumball: This movie is garbage. What superhero is this?
Darwin: Man Man! He was bitten by a man, and given the powers of a man.
Gumball: Yeah, that's weak. Guess we'll give the cinema one star.
Larry: [Working as an usher] Wait! We didn't make the film!
Gumball: Yeah, but you showed it. You should apply a little quality control before stealing two hours of our lives.
Darwin: Plus ads.
Gumball: Four hours of our lives.
Larry: [Sighs] All right, give me a minute.
[The film stops, and is replaced by a new one acted out entirely by Larry]
Jock: Great game today.
Troy: Yeah, we're going all the way to the state finals. [Gasps] Who's that?
Jock: That?! Ha! She's just some nerdy girl that will never get with hot jocks like us! [Laughs] Troy?
[Soft guitar music plays in the background]
Troy: You know, without these glasses, you're beautiful.
Girl: When did you know you were going to ask me to the prom?
Troy: From the moment our eyes met.
Lyrics: I remember last year, I wanted to see your face.
[The credits scroll by. Gumball and Darwin exit the theater and wait by the street]
Gumball: [Baffled] What was that?
Darwin: [Sobbing] I never thought they'd get together. They were so different.
Gumball: They were literally the same guy.
Darwin: [Sniffles] Five stars!
Raters Gonna Rate
[Tobias suddenly rides by on a one-wheeled hoverboard. He goes straight through a puddle, splashing both brothers]
Gumball: Hey! Ugh, one star!
Darwin: Dude, you can't review Tobias. He's not a business.
Gumball: [Thinks to himself] Hmm.
[Gumball and Darwin head to Elmore Mall. They go up to Larry, who is in a store stacking boxes]
Gumball: Larry, we need you to design us a website.
Larry: But this is a shoe store.
Gumball: A shoe store with a very poor web-design service. [Grabs his cellphone] Larry, raise my eyebrow for me.
[Larry sighs, then does as asked. He yelps, falling back in fear of Gumball's menacing expression]
Larry: Right away! [Enters a side room to use the computer] It's online.
[Elsewhere, Tobias is still riding his hoverboard. His phone chimes, and he checks it]
Tobias: I got reviewed? One star?! [Crashes into a bus sign]
[As they leave the store, Gumball and Darwin pass by Billy]
Gumball: Too small and round. One star.
Gumball: [Sees Mr. Small on the escalator] Has the dress sense of a fever dream and is easily confused. [Rates him one star]
Mister Small: Hey! I dyed this tie myself! Or is it tied this dye?
Gumball: [Walks outside; To Darwin] Ugh! The sun's too hot! One star?
Darwin: Would not recommend to a nearby solar system.
The Sun: Rate me one star? I am one star!
[They come across Principal Brown, panhandling on the sidewalk]
Gumball: Principal Brown, what happened?
Nigel Brown: I got a terrible review online.
Gumball: One star?
Nigel Brown: No, it was three stars. But the student made so many spelling errors, the school board sacked me anyway.
[He pulls open his fur like a trench coat, revealing the items in his pockets]
Nigel Brown: Wanna buy a pirate DVD?
Gumball: Absolutely not. [Heads in the opposite direction]
Darwin: This is bad, Gumball. Other people are using our website to review everything.
Gumball: Meh, what could go wrong?
[His phone chimes. Gumball and Darwin are given a two and three rating, respectively]
Darwin: I guess the reviewer has become the reviewee.
Gumball: Terrible line. Two stars.
Darwin: [Saddened] Ohh.
[An ambulance siren wails. The brothers look over at the scene of a bicycle accident]
Felicity: What's wrong with you?! Why won't you help me?!
Bandage Paramedic One: I'm sorry, but we can't risk it.
Bandage Paramedic Two: Our last review was all, "Emergency response times this, medical ethics that."
Felicity: So I'm supposed to just lie here?!
Bandage Paramedic Two: Hm, patient very pushy. One star.
Gumball: Boring accident scene. One star.
Darwin: [Angry] Dude!
Gaylord Robinson: [Yelling nearby] Come on! Do something about these termites! They're eating my house!
Pest Controller: Sorry, I can't afford any more bad reviews. Turns out termites have a strong online presence. [Drives off in his van]
[Mr. Robinson shakes his fist, then turns to face the house just in time to see it disintegrate]
Gaylord Robinson: [To Mrs. Robinson] Well, at least we can sleep in the car. [Watches the vehicle get eaten] Huh? [Groans; Schemes] Well, at least I've still got my loving wife. [Steps away]
[The termites move towards her, but target the garbage can instead]
Gaylord Robinson: Oh, come on!
Bald Faced Lie
[Gumball and Darwin continue to move through the neighborhood, passing by several townspeople who are frozen in place]
Gumball: Uh... what's going on?
[Up ahead, Richard groans, and they find him similarly immobile in the middle of the street]
Gumball: Dad?! What's happening?
Richard: The people in the store said bald guys don't need combs, so I gave them one star, so they gave me one star. What if I lose that star too? What will people I don't know on the internet think about me?
Gumball: Dad, other people's opinions don't matter. Only our opinions matter. That's why we made the website.
Pantsbully: [Walks by in the foreground] Terrible logic. One star.
Darwin: He's got a point, Gumball.
Pantsbully: Not supporting your brother. One star.
Richard: Just do nothing. If you don't do anything, you can't do anything wrong, and you can't get a bad review.
Gumball: Well, I guess if nobody's moving, nothing bad can happen. Right?
[In the distance, a taxicab is seen barreling towards them. It is being driven by Soulless Office Worker, with Banana Barbara in the backseat]
Banana Barbara: Terrible driver. Too fast!
[He slows down]
Banana Barbara: Far too slow.
Banana Barbara: Too jerky!
Soulless Office Worker: Grating voice. One star!
Banana Barbara: Typing while driving. One star.
[The taxi races past Doughnut Sheriff]
Gumball: Officer! Do something!
Doughnut Sheriff: Nuh-uh! I'm on two stars here. One bad review, and I could be busted down to traffic cop. And then I'd have to do something.
Gumball: I've got it! We made the website to give everything bad reviews, but now that's stopped everyone. Maybe if we give the website a bad review, that will stop the website!
Pantsbully: [Passes by again] Clunky overwordy exposition. Zero star--
Gumball: Rude interrupter! One star!
[The taxi gets closer]
Banana Barbara: Terrible aftershave!
Soulless Office Worker: Stinks of banana! One star!
[Larry comes from a side road on his delivery scooter]
Larry: [Slams the brakes] Oh, what now?!
Gumball: You're the only one with a high enough rating! You've gotta give the website zero stars!
Larry: Sure, right away... Wait a minute. [Slyly] I'll do it, on one condition.
Larry: [Steps behind Richard]Someone has to admit he's bald.
Richard: [Sighs; Depressed] Of course. I understand. [Turns around] Darwin, just tell him you're bald.
Darwin: [Offended] What?! I'm not bald! I have a healthy head of scales!
Larry: Oh, come on!
Richard: [Sighs] You're right. Gumball, just tell--
Larry: [Enraged] You! You! It's you! [Slaps the top of Richard's head] Bald! You are BALD!
[The sky fills with dark, ominous clouds]
Richard: [Distraught] I'm not bald!
Larry: Fine. Then I'll give the website a five star review, and it will become unstoppable!
Gumball & Darwin: NOO!
[Larry raises his hand and prepares to tap the screen on his cellphone]
Richard: [Sobbing] I'm not bald! I'm not bald!
[He drops to his knees, screaming, as Larry's finger draws closer. There is a break in the clouds, and a sunbeam shines directly onto Richard. It reflects off of his head and into Larry's eyes, causing him to accidentally post a zero star rating. Afterward, the entire town immediately returns to normal]
Crocodile Woman: Yay! I can go back to not caring what anyone thinks!
Gary: Yeah! I can go back to treating other people's mail like garbage!
Martin Peaches: Yay! I can get back to running! [Apathetic] Hooray.
Larry: What the? The website's down.
Gumball & Darwin: Yeah! You did it!
Gumball: You gave it zero stars!
Larry: Gah! [Smashes his phone on the street] This is all your fault! The sunlight bounced off the top of your head! How else could that happen if you weren't BALD?! [Huffs]
Richard: [Remorseful] All right, I'll admit it. I'm ba--