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Sad Rocky

Rocky: [Lets out a moan, then looks to the left; Lets out a longer, more evident moan, and looks to the left again; Moans again] Okay, are you guys gonna ask why I look so down or what?
Gumball: Sorry dude, I thought that was your gaming face.
Darwin: Yeah, mine looks like a lonely widow looking out at the waves that claimed her sea captain husband.
Gumball: Mine's like halfway between a sneeze and a belch.
Rocky: Are you gonna ask me or not?
Gumball: [Stops playing on the computer] Oh, sorry, yes. What's wrong?
Rocky: [Wailing] You wouldn't understand.
Gumball: Okay then. [Continues to play on the computer]
[Rocky sighs]
Gumball: [Stops playing on the computer] Just kidding. We're here for you dude. [Rubs and squeezes Rocky's nose]
Rocky: The only woman I've spoken to in the last six months was a farmer's daughter who wanted me to retrieve her goat.
Gumball: Sounds like you could milk that situation.
Rocky: It was in the video game we're playing.
Gumball: Oh.
Darwin: Did you find the goat, though?
Rocky: It's not the point! Instead of living my life, all I do is waste it online raiding orc villages with a couple of juvenile dwarves.
Darwin: Hey, Gisly and Tarquin were very useful in the last raid. They just need to gain more XPs.
Rocky: I meant you two.
[Gumball and Darwin gasp]
Gumball: If I wasn't such a neutral good character, I would push you into that lava pit and steal your loot.
Darwin: I could start a new character and be your girlfriend in the game.
Rocky: A dwarf and an elf can't be in love. It goes against the lore. Besides, I've already seen the woman of my dreams. [Rocky flashbacks to when he was at the mall gawking at his dream girl]
[Rocky runs down the escalator to her but then trips as the escalator keeps flipping him over]
Rocky: I looked everywhere for her, but she was gone. She was the one.
[Rocky starts to moan sadly again]
Gumball: Dude, you know how people say there's only one love in their life and that if they'd never met them, they'd have been alone and sad forever?
Rocky: Yeah?
Gumball: That's because they're married to them and it would be very expensive to say otherwise.
Rocky: Well, what am I supposed to do?
[Computer makes a noise]
Rocky: [Reads off computer] You have not interacted with a female player for...
[Computer loads]
Rocky: Ever. Meet the love of your life, download our new app now.
Darwin: It's a sign.
Gumball: No, it's a cynical ad aimed at desperate people. But let's be honest, they've hit their target. [Puts hand on Rocky's shoulder]
[Rocky sighs]
Rocky: I'll give it a try.
[Rocky downloads the app on his phone]
Gumball: [Has trouble pronouncing ] Traweler?
Rocky: Oh, I've heard of this! It's called Trawlr!
Darwin: Trawlr? Why?
Gumball: I get it! It's because there's plenty of fish in the sea, and uh, you, uh, won't catch uh, you won't catch a fish with- No no no, uh... 
Darwin: And you need the net to catch it!
Gumball: And you need the net to-
Darwin: [Interrupts Gumball] Nu ah ah, I said it first!
[Bell rings]

Making Rocky's Trawlr account

Gumball: Okay, you're gonna need a good photo if you want to stand out.
Rocky: [Sigh] This Internet dating thing lacks romance. I always thought that I would meet my girlfriend by bumping into her and accidentally switching brief cases, or she runs me over with her pickup truck and while I'm lying on the road, she gives me CPR and when I come round, she wipes away the dribble and we share a passionate kiss.
Gumball: [Looking at Rocky's phone] How 'bout prison, you got a romcom scenario for that?
Rocky: Why?
Gumball: [Swiping through Rocky's selfies on his phone] You look like the kinda guy who loves taxidermy and long walks in the dark.
Darwin: It's 'cause they're the wrong angle for a selfie. Everyone looks awful from underneath. You need to go high. Look. [Darwin holds the phone from underneath] Ugly. [Darwin holds phone from above] Pretty! See? [Darwin takes photo of Rocky from above]
[Everyone looks at photo of Rocky, which looks scary causing Darwin to gasp really loud]
Gumball: I guess we're going to have to do what every teenager does on the internet. [Gumball edits Rocky's photo] Filter and crop! And voila! [Gumball shows Rocky the photo which looks entirely different from him]

Trying out Trawlr

[School is dismissed]
Rocky: Now, it's asking me to write a bio. How would describe my financial situation?
Darwin: Tragic?
Rocky: It also wants to know my hobbies.
Darwin: Well?
Rocky: I like cheese and internet memes!
Gumball: That's gonna be hard to sell.
Rocky: Well, how would you describe me? I'm a school janitor who mops the bathrooms and serves slop in the cafeteria for less than minimum wage.
Gumball: Just embellish the truth. Like, uh, I work for a nonprofit organization that saves children from squalor, diseases, and starvation.
Rocky: Ok, so here's how it works. I get profiles of girls located in the same town, and I slide down when I see the one I like. If she does the same, we get to chat.
[A random girl comes up on the app, and the guys make barf noises and gag]
Darwin: [Disgusted] She looks like a puppet made out of meat!
Rocky: Her hair looks like it's made out of lots of little hairs!
Gumball: And what's wrong with her hands?! Aw dude, she's got five fingers! Slide up! Slide up!
[Another random girl comes up]
All: Now, we're talking.
Rocky: Should I slide down?
Gumball: No dude, you need to check out the market before you park it.
[Rocky slides up]
Gumball: Too tall.
[Rocky slides up]
Gumball: Too small.
[Rocky slides up]
Gumball: Too average size.
Darwin: Aren't they going to feel bad being rejected?
Rocky: Meh, it's all virtual, no one actually gets hurt.
[Slides up]
[Scene cuts to Hexagon Lady flying up]
[Another scene cuts to Crocodile Woman flying up]
[Last scene cuts to Felicity flying up but she's in car and crashes into a house]
Darwin: Are you sure we're not being too picky?
Gumball: You tell me. This one just sent a picture of her new tattoo of Rocky's face.
[Rocky smiles]
Gumball: On her face.
[Then frowns]
Darwin: Uh, slide up.
[Rocky slides up]
[They watch as a person falls down from the sky]
[Green Bear pops up on Rocky's phone]
Rocky: Oo, what about this one? [Slides down] Ah, she likes me, she said "Hey," what do I say? Quick, I need a pickup line!
Darwin: Oh, uh, how about, "Hey girl, did you know that when you're in love, your heart burns up to a hundred calories per hour? Wanna go for a workout?"
Gumball: Yes, great! Type exactly what we say.
[Rocky types what they say]
Rocky: And, send! [Reads off phone to see what she said] "Are you calling me fat?"
Gumball: Uh, no no no! Say "I just meant, was your dad a baker?"
Rocky: [Sends what Gumball says a little too early] She says "Why, because it looks like I only eat cake?"
Gumball: [Screams] No! I was gonna say "because you look very sweet!" Awh, you pressed send too early!
Darwin: Try, "You could stop traffic."
[Rocky types what Darwin says]
Rocky: [Reads what she replied] "I get it, cause I'm such a car crash."
Darwin: No! "Because people would stop to look at you!" [Getting frustrated]
Gumball: Try, "Was there an earthquake or did you just walk into the room? Because you rock my-"
[Rocky types and sends too early again]
Gumball: Stop pressing send too early, you dork muffin! [Gumball says that to Rocky but Rocky types it] Wait, did you just? [Reads what Rocky sent to the person on Trawlr] "Was there an earthquake or did you just walk into the room you dork muffin?" What is wrong with you?!
Rocky: Okay! Okay! I'm trying but you're going too fast! In case you haven't noticed, it's kinda hard to text with these! [Holds hand up] Ugh, I give up, it's like my mom always says: [Turns face into Mrs. Robinsons face] "Meh meh, meh meh meh."
Darwin: What?
Rocky: I have a face only a mother could love.
Gumball: Yeah, well your mom is so nasty that she bit a dog and gave it rebies. [sighs and realizes that Rocky is still typing] You're still typing, aren't you.
Rocky: Yeah.
[Gumball facepalms himself]
[Rocky flies up and screams, then falls on the steps in front of the school]
Darwin: [Rocky's phone vibrates and Darwin picks it up] On the plus side, you got another hit.
[Rocky grabs the phone and sees the person]
Rocky: Okay, this one just has a picture of a white mask. Pickup line?
Darwin: "Are you a combination of my recent memories and my childhood traumas? Because girl, you are a dream."
[Gumball and Rocky look at him]
Darwin: What? That's what dreams are.
[Gumball takes Rocky's phone]
Gumball: [Gumball reads what's on the phone quietly] "Meh meh meh meh meh meh..." [Gumball gasps and makes a horrified face, and quickly realizes it's Mrs. Robinson. He just looks at Rocky and doesn't tell him]
Rocky: So?
[Gumball quickly slides up and scene cuts to Mrs. Robinson flying up from her house and falling back in front of the house]
Gumball: Nah, she rejected you.
Rocky: [Rocky sighs] Finding love on the internet is like spray cheese. It might taste like cheese, but it's really bad for your self-esteem. What happened to finding love the romantic way? Like looking at each other across a crowded room at a party neither of you are enjoying. Or chasing after someone before they board their flight and disappear forever.
Gumball: [Sighs and pats Rocky] That only happens in the movies. Which you would know if you could get a date to go to the cinema with.
[Rocky's phone makes a noise]
Darwin: [Looks at phone] Dude, what did you say the girl of your dreams looks like?
Rocky: Like my soulmate.
[Darwin shows Rocky his phone with the girl he saw at the mall earlier]
Rocky: [Gasps] That's her! The girl from the mall!
Gumball: Puppet victory dance!
[They all dance crazily]
Rocky: Time to slide down, 'cause things are looking up!
[Rocky slides down while Darwin is holding the phone]
Darwin: Wait.
Rocky: What?
Darwin: You just slid up.
Rocky: What do you? What! How!?
Darwin: I was holding it flat, the picture was toward me! You slid the wrong way man!
Rocky: Well, slide it back!
Darwin: You can't! That's how it works! If you slide up, it's over!
Rocky: She's gone. [Rocky and Darwin start to moan and cry]
Gumball: No! [Darwin and Rocky look at him] If she popped up on that phone, it means she's still in town. Rocky, it's time for romance.
[Rocky sighs happily]

Finding Rocky's soulmate

[Music starts playing as they run across town]
Gumball: Out of the way! Move! [They run over people]
Shape Lady: What is wrong with you?!
Gumball: We're trying to find the love of his life before she disappears forever!
Shape Lady: Well, if it's in the name of love, then... [She gives them a thumbs up, as well as her baby]
[The guys run over Betty]
Betty: What does she look like?
[Gumball pushes Gary while he's holding a plant and puts the plant on top of Rocky's head]
Betty: I saw her at the hospital.
Gumball: [Helps Betty up] Thank you. [He pushes her back down]
[Betty gives them a thumbs up]
[They enter the hospital and as Marvin exits the hospital, Gumball goes back and pushes Marvin off his wheelchair]
Gumball: [Gumball pushes Melted Cheese Guy out of the way, as he talks to one of the nurses] We need to see your medical records!
Bandage nurse: Are you crazy?! That's illegal!
Darwin: It's in the name of love!
Bandage nurse: Well if it's in the name of love, then... [Thumbs up]
Darwin: [Running as he's looking at the medical records] Uh, her name is Byrdie! She lives in the suburbs with her parents, and she was born with three ears!
[They stop running as they inhale deeply]
Darwin: Ah, but she got one surgically removed.
Gumball & Rocky: Meh. [They start running again]
[Scene changes to Harold driving in a car and Rocky pulling him out]
Harold: Help! Thief!
Gumball: Don't worry, it's in the name of love!
Harold: Well, if it's in the name of love, then... [Gives them a thumbs up]
Darwin: Wait, that car looks faster. [He points to the other car and they get in it and drive away]
[They finally reach Byrdie's house and ring her doorbell. As her father comes to open it, Rocky runs him over with the car]
Rocky: Byrdie!
Byrdie's father: What do you want?
Rocky: Love.
Byrdie's father: Upstairs, second on the left.
Rocky: [Sighs happily as they proceed to run him over]
Byrdie's father: No worries.
[Scene cuts to Byrdie listening to music in her bedroom as Rocky appears in front of her]
Byrdie: [Byrdie screams] What are you doing here?!
Gumball: He's been chasing you since you lovingly locked eyes at the mall, before you disappeared into the crowd.
Darwin: He's been on a quest to find you all day!
Gumball: He pushed babies to the floor!
Darwin: He stole your medical record!
Gumball: He jacked a car!
Darwin: And ran over your dad when he stepped between you!
Gumball: All in the name of love! [They all nod]
Byrdie: That sounds a little like child bullying, breach of privacy, grand theft auto, battery, and stalking. Let me rephrase that: it's exactly what it is! And for the record, we did not lock eyes lovingly!
[Flashback to the mall with Rocky staring intently at Byrdie, who looks scared]
Darwin: And why did you hit him up on Trawlr?
Byrdie: Because the creepy guy standing in my bedroom looks nothing like this! [Shows them Rocky's profile picture on Trawlr]
[Rocky sighs]
Byrdie: Wait! Wait, after everything you've been through to find me, I can't just let you walk away. So... [Rocky gets happy but then Byrdie slides her phone up and they fly out of her bedroom]
[Scene changes to Rocky playing a game on his computer, where Darwin plays as a dwarf to be Rocky's girlfriend in the game]
Rocky: [Sighs] Thanks, man. It's not the same, but it'll do for now. [Rocky fist bumps with Darwin]
[Episode ends]
veTAWOGEPISODESfont Transcript
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TheDVDSeason1 TheResponsibleSeason1 TheThirdSeason1 TheDebtSeason1
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The DVD
Episode 2
The Responsible
Episode 3
The Third
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The Debt
TheEndSeason1 TheDressSeason1 TheQuestSeason1 TheSpoonSeason1
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The End
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The Dress
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The Quest
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The Spoon
ThePressure Season1 ThePaintingSeason1 TheLaziestSeason1 TheGhostSeason1
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The Pressure
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The Painting
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The Laziest
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The Ghost
TheMysterySeason1 ThePrankSeason1 TheGiSeason1 TheKissSeason1
Episode 13
The Mystery
Episode 14
The Prank
Episode 15
The Gi
Episode 16
The Kiss
TheParty Season1 TheRefundSeason1 TheRobotSeason1 ThePicnicSeason1
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The Party
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The Refund
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The Robot
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The Picnic
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The Goons
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The Secret
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The Sock
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The Genius
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The Poltergeist
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The Date
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The Club
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The Gripes
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The Worst
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The Deal
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