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A Rumor About Marriage

[The episode starts inside the bathroom. No one is inside, but everything starts to collapse. Cut to the outside of the bathroom where Richard and Louie are hanging a picture]  
Richard: [Finishes hanging a picture of the family vacation] There. 
Louie: That was a great vacation. Florida was really good for my joints.
Richard: Hmm. But not for my skin. [Richard peels off the red part of his skin and eats it] Taste like my bath water.
Louie: You need to stop eating things that aren't food. And also eat less food.
Richard: Thank you, Louie. You know, I never had anyone to share that kind of profound wisdom with me.
Louie: It's called survival instinct and it comes right after breathing without concentrating.
Richard: What I mean is I hope you won't mind if I call you dad! [he hugs Louie]
Louie: Well, since this is already awkward, it's a good time to tell you that your mother and I want to marry and move to Florida.
Richard: [muffled] What? Really? [starts clenching his teeth]
Louie: How do you feel about it?
Richard: It's great!
Louie: I'm impressed. I didn't think you'd take it like an adult. I was expecting some kind of explosion. Are you sure you're okay with it?
Richard: I'm fine.
[Louie is blasted to the outside]
Granny Jojo: How'd it go?
Louie: Well at least he didn't say no.
[Gumball, Darwin, And Anais go upstairs to see Richard]
Gumball: Ah, so Louie told you.
Richard: [muffled noises]
Gumball: What?
[Darwin opens Richard's mouth with a crowbar]
Richard: I said, I WILL NOT LET THIS MAN STEAL MY MOTHER!
Darwin: Come on Mr. Dad, try to adopt a different attitude and be happy for Louie.
Richard: Hmm, Dad try adopt louie, Dad adopt Louie,
Gumball: No No No!
Richard: DAD ADOPT LOUIE!
Gumball: No! We won't let you become Louie's dad so you have the power to forbid his wedding!
Richard: Huh, thanks. I had no idea where i was going with that.
[The kids slap their faces with their hands except for Darwin, who slaps his face with the crowbar]

Adoption of Louie

Nicole: One for Mr. Finklehimer.
[Richard walks into The Watterson's dining room while Nicole is making a guest list. He then falls down, and comes back up]
Richard: Sooo, what are you guys up to?
Nicole: Making a guest list for the wedding.
Richard: Oh, Can I see?
[Clearly swaps the guest list for the adoption form and hands it to Louie]
Richard: Whoops, Louie, you forgot your name on the guest list.
Gumball: Hmmm, Something smells fishy...
[Darwin smells his arm]
Anais: No not you, those adoption papers.
[Richard is seen with an evil grin watching Nicole and Louie]
Gumball: No, no, no don't!
[Richard takes the adoption form from Louie and rips his shirt off]
Richard: Ha ha! Those papers you just signed mean you're now officially my son! Now as your father I hereby forbid you from marrying my mother! Boom! I'm number one! Boom! You are my son! Boom! I'm number one! Boom!
Granny Jojo: How dare you!
Louie: You should be ashamed!
Richard: Tut tut tut. I think it's time to go to bed son.
Louie: Are you kidding me! I'm a 72 year old man! Who was raised with traditional values to always obey his father. Goodnight sir.

Louie's Adopting Decision

[Louie is attempting to climb a ladder to the top bunk of Gumball's bed]
Gumball: Alright, you can crash with me in the lower bunk.
Louie: Aah, thanks kid. [puts dentures in Darwin's fishbowl]
Darwin: [About to speak but decides not to]
Gumball: I know Louie, it's messed up. You were supposed to be our grandpa, but now you're our adopted brother, which makes your bride your grandma and your future daughter-in-law your mother.
Louie: Hmm... Louie adopt mother, Louie adopts mother! LOUIE ADOPTS MOTHER! Ha! Ha ha ha ha!
Anais: Wow, he really cherry picked what he wanted out of that sentence.

Adoption of Nicole

[Louie is outside with Nicole, who is near the laundry]
Louie: Hi Nicole- I, I mean mom? Gosh, this is so weird.
Nicole: I know, let's just try and roll with it, sweetheart.
[Nicole pats Louie on the head, only to wipe her hand off on her skirt after]
Louie: So, since I'm one of your children I guess I have to sign up for school again. Here's the form.
Nicole: Lets just get this over with so we can go shutter somewhere else, separately.
Louie: Oh hey, can I borrow this shirt?
Nicole: Sure.
Louie: Thank you.
[Louie takes a shirt from the hanging laundry, puts it on, and immediately rips it off]
Louie: Aha! Those adoption forms now make you my daughter! And if I'm not allowed to see Jojo, then I forbid you to see Richard! Boom! I have discord ya! You are my daughter! Even though I'm shorter! Oh look a quarter! Ow, my hip disorder!
Nicole: You're my dad now? How does that work?

The Watterson Family Tree

[Anais is showing her family the family tree]
Anais: It's simple. Dad adopted Louie and Louie adopted Mom. So Mom is married to our own grandfather, which means he's not allowed to see her. Which is why he's wearing a bag over his head.
Gumball: Wait, if Mom is now the daughter of our brother Louie, does that mean she's our niece?
Nicole: I guess I am, Gumball.
Gumball: Actually, it's Uncle Gumball, which makes me more powerful than you. So GO CLEAN MY ROOM!
Nicole: Nieces don't traditionally clean their uncle's rooms, that's not a thing.
Gumball: It's not about tradition, IT'S ABOUT POWER!
Darwin: So wait a sec, if you get more power the higher you are up the family tree, doesn't that mean the most powerful person in the family is-
Granny Jojo: Me.
Anais: Not really because your also our brother Louie's fiance.
Gumball: Which makes you half our sister-in-law.
Darwin: Which means the most powerful person in the family is Frankie Watterson.
Granny Jojo: FRANKIE WATTERSON'S NOTHING BUT A CONMAN AND A SHYSTER!
Richard: Don't talk about my father like that!
Granny Jojo: What kind of father goes out for milk and stays gone for thirty-three years?
Richard: Well maybe he's still looking for the perfect carton of milk because he loves me more than your mother's skinny boyfriend!
Louie: That's no way to talk about your son!
Nicole: Well, if my new dad hadn't stopped me from seeing my husband, I could work things out with him!
[Nicole, Granny Jojo, and Louie are all attacking each other]
Darwin: Guys! We have to do something! I don't know who I am anymore, everyone is fighting, and it turns out sharing a bedroom with a very old man isn't nearly as much fun as I thought it would be!
Anais: You thought sharing a room with a very old man would be fun?
Richard: You'll never be my dad! Frankie is my dad!
Gumball: Never, Is, Can't, Your, Be?
Anais: We find Frankie Watterson, get him to adopt Dad, and become his legal father again. That way, Frankie will be the head of the family and we can get back to normal.
Gumball: I was getting there!
Anais: No you weren't.
[The screen is going closer up and closer up to Frankie's space on the family tree]

Home For Frankie

[Cut to Frankie Watterson's first person perspective, where he is sitting on the sofa eating a bowl of brown mush while watching TV. Some repo men taking stuff out of his house, including his TV and table.]
Frankie: Oh come on guys, give me a break!
Goblin: Should've paid the rent!
Frankie: That TV isn't even worth 20 bucks!
[More repo men appear on screen taking more stuff, including the actual window, his food and the sofa]
Frankie: What are you going to do with the curtains and the window? Come on. I hope you choke on that! Fine, take the couch, I'll find some shmoe to lease.
[Frankie picks up a newspaper and looks through the classified section, where he finds an ad asking about his whereabouts]
Frankie: Hmm... looking for the information on the whereabouts of Frankie Watterson. Your family needs you Frankie. Come home. Frankie home. Home for Frankie, home for Frankie- OH COME ON!
[The repo men take the newspaper out of Frankie's hands, revealing that they literally took the entire house away from Frankie]

Frankie and Richard Reunite

[Frankie rings the doorbell to the Watterson home as Anais opens the door for him. The children gasp as the camera reveals Frankie's true appearance]
Frankie: Uh, hey.
Gumball, Darwin and Anais: Dad!
Richard: What?
Louie: What?
Darwin: What?
Gumball: You're not a dad.
Darwin: Sorry, it's been a confusing day.
Anais: Dad, look who we found!
[Richard takes the paper bag off his head, sees his father and gasps]
Frankie: Son?
[They now start running to each other looking like they will hug but at the last moment Richard grabs Frankie's shirt]
Richard: How could you do this to me? Thirty-three years and you come back into my house without a carton of milk?
[Richard now starts sobbing uncontrollably as his father comforts him]
Frankie: Uh, good to see you too, Richard.
Granny Jojo: What are you doing here, you dirty rat?
Gumball: We asked him to come to adopt dad so he can become his father again.
Richard: Is it true? Do you want to be my dad again?
Frankie: Yes, son. I'm here to make things right. Look, I brought a contract. Does anybody have a pen?
[Darwin hands Frankie a pen]
Frankie: Thanks! Who- uh- whatever you are.
Darwin: Oh, I'm Nicole's uncle. But I used to be a pet.
Frankie: All you have to do is sign here, son. The yellow copy for your records.
Richard: Awesome! We're a complete family again. What's going on? Where's dad? Why is his shirt on the floor?
Granny Jojo: Let me see that: these aren't adoption papers. "I, Richard Watterson, hereby sign over the deeds to the house to the older Watterson." That's Frankie, he's gonna take the house!
[All fall to their knees.]
Anais: But if Louise marries Granny Jojo first and takes her name, he'll be the oldest Watterson!
Gumball: Then he can give the house back to us!
All: Yay!
Anais: We need to get to the town hall now!
Gumball: One more before we go?
All: Ye!
Gumball: Ok, let's go.

Getting the House Back

[Car crashes in front of the Town Hall]
Doughnut Sheriff: Hey, you can't park here!
[Richard pushes the car away.]
Nicole: Which line do we take for a marriage licence?
Paper Woman: You need the line for people who don't know what line they need.
Gumball: We don't have time for that!
Paper Woman: This is the kingdom of bureaucracy. Everything happens in its own time. Usually too late.
[They all run to a line. Camera zooms in to Frankie and Gumball's faces.]
Granny Jojo: You should be ashamed of yourself!
Frankie: I'm sorry, Joanna, I'm desperate!
Darwin: But it's our home!
Frankie: If they can buy one, they can buy another!
Richard: How could you do this to your own son?
Frankie: I'm sorry but that's how it- is.
Nicole: Gumball, do something!
[Gumball hits Frankie.]
Frankie: What was that?
Gumball: This is the kingdom of bureaucracy, everything happens in its own time.
[Frankie falls to the floor.]
Nicole: We're here to get a marriage licence!
Employee: Uh uh, one minute. [Goes on his computer.]
Nicole: Are you playing solitaire? I can hear you watching cat videos.
Gumball: What the?! That's the sound of Elmore Plus messenger!
Employee: No, it's not. [Quietly] Hashtag joyful life.
[Nicole smashes her head through the glass.]
Nicole: Then hashtag make hashtag sure hashtag you hashtag stay alive to hashtag enjoy it!
Employee: That's not how hashtags work. It's the line on the left, get this stamped.
Gumball: Wait, shouldn't we be running? [Intense music starts playing] Ah, that's better.
[They start running.]
Richard: It's blocked!
Nicole: This goes nowhere! We are literally caught in a labyrinth of red tape!
Gumball: This way!
[Starts running towards Frankie, but Frankie ties the red tape, causing them to stop.]
Frankie: Sorry, guys, I don't have a choice.
[Richard looks sadly at Frankie, causing him to flashback when he was just a kid and Frankie leaving him. Frankie looks at him.]
Karen: Sir? Sir, are you in line?
Frankie: No. Actually, I think I've been out of line my whole life. I can't do this.
Granny Jojo: He's having a moment of humanity... Quick, let's take advantage of his weakness!
Richard: Stamp these!
Karen: Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Watterson!
[Everyone starts cheering and Richard notices Frankie walking away.]
Richard: Dad? Wait, dad! I want you to sign this.
Frankie: Ah, you got a restraining order, huh?
Richard: No, adoption papers. I want my dad back.
[They both rip off their shirts.]
Richard and Frankie: We are family, nothing rhymes with family!
All: We are family, nothing rhymes with family!
[Episode ends.]
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