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At the Schoolyard

[Elmore Junior High schoolyard. Bobert is sitting on the bench, depressed while the other students play kickball]
Bobert: [sighs]
[Suddenly the ball rolls toward Bobert]
Tobias: Hey, Bobert! Kick it over! Come on, dude!
[Bobert kicks the ball as he was asked for, but the kick is so powerful that the ball gets to reach the Sun]
Jamie: Oh, Bobert!
Tobias: Oh, good job there, robo-dork!
Alan: Hey, take it easy!
Tobias: Why? It’s not like you can hurt his feelings. He’s not a real boy. [walks away with the others, leaving Bobert and Banana Joe]
Banana Joe: I’m a banana! [walks away]
[Bobert sighs again and walks away depressed]

The Learning Curve

[Gumball and Darwin play with dolls at another part of the schoolyard]
Gumball: Would you like a cup of tea, Mrs. Biggerlocks?
Darwin: Don’t mind if I do, Mrs. Pumpernickel.
Gumball: Ain’t if I interest you in a... Dynamite cupcake?!!
[They toss up their dolls showing an explosion. Then they notice the upset Bobert.]
Gumball: Hey Bobert. What’s wrong?
Bobert: Oh... Nothing.
Gumball: Aw, come on. You can tell us. We’re friends.
Bobert: I just wish I was a real boy.
Gumball: Oh! Well, wish no more. We’ll help you.
Bobert: Really? [prints something on a paper like a cash register then shows the paper to Gumball and Darwin]
Gumball: What’s that?
Bobert: It’s the algorithm for smile.
Gumball: Bobert... [throws Bobert’s smile away] You’ve got a lot to learn. If you want to be real then you have to have proper emotions.
Bobert: Define emotions.
Gumball: You know... Like feelings and stuff.
Bobert: Define feelings.
Gumball: You know... When you feel things... Like pain.
Bobert: Define pain.
Gumball: Okay, look. Let me demonstrate. Here, Darwin, describe this. [pinches Darwin’s cheek]
Darwin: [his eyes get small because of pain] Ahhhhhhhh!!!
Gumball: How does that feel?
Darwin: Horrible!
Gumball: [like a psychoanalyst] Hey, yes, yes, of course. Can you be more precise? Describe it.
Darwin: It feels... Feels... Like this! [pinches Gumball’s chest in return]
Gumball: [screams even shriller than Darwin] Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
[They both collapse to the ground still pinching each other and yelling]
Gumball: You're making me cry...
Darwin: But when you cry, I cry...
[They stop pinching each other and start crying]
Gumball: [gets up] I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you.
Darwin: Me neither. I don’t know what I was thinking.
Gumball: I love you, buddy!
Darwin: I love you too!
[They hug each other crying]
Gumball: [without any tears and acting like a good teacher] And that, Bobert, is emotions. Do you understand?
Bobert: Affirmative. Emotion equals X over Y plus a square root of a hypotenuse.
Gumball: Nerd! Look, man. If you wanna be a real boy, you gotta be cooler than that. A lot cooler!
Bobert: Commencing temperature adjustment. [starts cooling himself with a small fan coming out of his body]
Gumball: Bobert, [turns off the fan] just do as I do.
[Gumball walks around like a rapper while a rap-like music sounds]
Gumball: Go ahead.
[Bobert tries to do the same but he treads very heavily]
Gumball: Aw, come on! Give it a bit more... Bounce! Like this!
[The same rap-like music sounds. Gumball tries to show some kind of springy walk]
Darwin: Dude, what are you doing?
Gumball: I’m cool walking.
Darwin: You look like you are horse-riding nothing.
[Gumball and the music stop]
Bobert: I concur with the aquatic life form.
Gumball: [imitating Bobert] I concur with the aquatic life form. [back to normal] Bobert, if anyone wants to believe you’re a real boy, you need to lose that robot voice.
Bobert: May I simulate yours?
Gumball: Excellent choice!
Bobert: Excellent choice! [tries calibrating his voice, finally it sounds like Gumball’s] Excellent choice! Hi, my name’s Gumball and my head is so big, I’ve to go in the other room to look at it.
[Darwin and Bobert laugh, Gumball examines his head]
Bobert: Did you hear? I laughed! I have feelings! I’m a real boy! Thanks! [hugs Gumball and Darwin]
Gumball: Dude, little tip: Normal people don’t hug for this long.
Bobert: Just a little longer...

At Bobert’s

[Bobert is in the bathroom looking at the mirror]
Bobert: I’m a real boy on the inside, but not on the outside. [in a sinister way] Initiating transformation! [turns into the normal state again]
Mom-Unit: Bobert! Time for dinner simulation!
Bobert: Coming, Mom-Unit!

At the School

The Hallway

[Masami, Carmen, Molly, and Carrie are walking along the hallway, laughing]
Carmen: Gumball’s a dream boy!
Masami: Sensitive, funny, smart...
Molly: And punctual!
Carrie: He’s just perfect.
[They walk away, Gumball comes in]
Gumball: [laughing softly] Not even trying... [tries to open his locker, but he can’t] Hmm? Looks like my combination changed! It’s lucky I have this paper clip. [opens up the paperclip. He looks like he’s going to pick the lock, butinstead, he turns around and walks across the hallway and pokes his butt with the paperclip. He charges at the locker, opening it with a head hit] Works every time. [realizes that his locker is empty] Huh? Where’s all my stuff? [reflects]

The Cafeteria

[The bell rings]
Gumball: [eats a burger in one bite, but Rocky makes him spit it out] Hey!
Rocky: Sorry, dude. You know the rules: Only one burger per student.
Gumball: [confused] So, can I have mine?
Rocky: [sprays the burger] Nice try, Gumball! But you were here 10 minutes ago. [gives burger to Carmen] Here you go, sweetie, still warm.
Gumball: [to himself] This is getting weird. What’s going on today? [hears Penny laughing] Oh, Penny! Wait, she’s talking with someone. [hides behind a column, starts listening with a human-like ear]
Penny: [with Bobert disguised as Gumball] I’ve never realized how sensitive, funny, smart, and punctual you are, Gumball.
Gumball: What?!
Penny: Come here. [kisses "Gumball" on the cheek] Bye, Gumball! [leaves]
Bobert: [in Gumball’s voice] I'll pick you up at 8, cupcake! [is about to go, but Gumball stops him] [in normal voice] What?
Gumball: [furious] Cupcake?! CUPCAKE?! What do you think you are doing?! When I said you could copy me, I didn’t mean steal my life!
Bobert: But that’s the logical conclusion of this course of action: Observe, assimilate... [in a sinister way] Replace!
Gumball: What the... Okay! Give me one good reason not to hit you right now! Apart from the fact you are made of metal.
Bobert: Because... [menacing] I am you!
Gumball: [confused] What are you talking about?
Bobert: I know everything about you: I know how you walk... [in Gumball’s voice] How you talk... [in normal voice] How you behave; I. Am. You! [haughty] Only better.
Gumball: But, there’s only room in this town for one Gumball! And that’s me! Let’s see how long you can fool people.
Bobert: Challenge accepted! [leaves]
Gumball: And for the record, I do not look like a clown’s toaster!

At the Wattersons’

Nighttime

[Gumball is arriving home]
Gumball: [angry] Stupid electronic trashcan copying me! Who he thinks he is?! I’m the original! [tries to open the door, but it’s locked] Hmm? [goes to the back door] What’s going on here? [tries to open the door, it’s locked too, goes to the living room window] What the... [sees Bobert disguised as Gumball, the whole family is at the table having dinner]
Nicole: I can’t believe this report card! What’s happened to you, Gumball?
Richard: You’re like the same, but better!
Nicole: You’re the best son a family could wish for!
Everyone: We love you, Gumball!
[Everyone hugs "Gumball", the real Gumball screams; Bobert pulls down the blind]
[Scenes changes to Gumball going to the shed; Gumball lies on the ground and covers himself with grass because it’s cold, the sprinkler starts working, wetting him; he cries]

The Backyard Battle

[Daytime, "Gumball" and Darwin are going to play Dodge or Dare]
Darwin: OK, it’s time to play a game!
Bobert and Darwin: [with Bobert in Gumball’s voice] DODGE OR DARE!
Bobert: [in Gumball’s voice] Roll the dice, pick a-
Gumball: [jumps onto Bobert] NO! Gimme back my life, you shape-shifting garbage can! I’m the real Gumball! [falls off after being kicked by Bobert] There’s only one Gu- [Bobert jumps on him] Ah... Gumball, and that’s me! Darwin, do something!
Darwin: But, but... Which one is the real Gumball?!
Gumball: The one that’s obviously not a robot!
Darwin: Ok! [hits Gumball with a shovel]
Gumball: Aw! Why did you do that?
Darwin: You told me to.
Gumball: I told you to hit the robot!
Darwin: But that’s exactly what the robot would've said.
Gumball: [sighs] Bobert, this’s gone too far, we need to reboot you!
Bobert: Please, allow me to say one thing before you do.
Gumball: Aw, this is going to be sad. We’re listening, buddy!
Bobert: [sinister robot voice] Initiating self-defense protocol! [starts shooting laser at Gumball and Darwin, they run scared]
[Richard is sitting on the couch playing a handheld game console]
Nicole: [out of the scene] Richard, how are the boys doing?
Richard: Ow, I’m playing!
Nicole: Richard, check on them, please.
Richard: Oh! [makes fake steps] Hey, boys, you alright? [fakes their voices] Yeah, we’re alright! [makes fake steps again] Yeah, they’re alright. [continues playing]
[Gumball and Darwin hide behind the shed]
Gumball: OK, listen, you go out and distract him, I’ll sneak up and reboot him.
Darwin: No problem! [goes in the middle of Bobert’s sight, confident] Hey, Bob- [Bobert launches a laser beam, Darwin goes through the fence]
Gumball: [throws some mud at Bobert] Ha! How do you like that, you psychotic satellite dish?!
[Bobert morphs into a giant robot and cleans the mud with a wiper that came out of his head, roars; Gumball runs again scared, Bobert start shooting laser beams, Gumball evades them all; finally Bobert shots an enormous beam creating a nuclear-like explosion, but Gumball protects himself with a bin]
Gumball: Bobert, you coward! Why don’t you fight me like a man, you... Coward!
Bobert: Initiating hand to hand combat mode. [morphs into his normal form, only with larger fists]
Gumball: He he! That’s more like it. Karate Chop! [hits Bobert, then grunts in pain] Ok, man, give me your best shot. [Bobert hits him; Gumball collides with the shed] Aw! Is that all you got?
Bobert: There can be only one...
Gumball: I really wish that something that once seemed insignificant would come out and help me right now.
Darwin: [approaching] Hold on! I’ll save you- [Bobert punches him, Darwin flies away again]
Gumball: Ok, something else insignificant.
Bobert: It’s too late for that. [is approaching Gumball to finish him, but the sprinkler starts working when he almost gets to Gumball, causing him to malfunction]
Gumball: Ha! Game over, it’s reboot time!
Bobert: No, please. You made me in your image, we’re two of a kind. Think of the things we can do together, Gumball. Please, please, don’t reboot me!
Gumball: Hmm, let me think about it... Nooo. [reboots him]
[Bobert is starting up]
Darwin: [comes] Is he alright?
Bobert: [finishes booting up] Define alright.
Gumball and Darwin: [de-stress]
Gumball: You know what? I think it’s better for everyone if you stay you, and I stay me.
Bobert: Affirmative. [hugs Gumball and Darwin]
Gumball: This is even longer than last time. [Bobert stop hugging them]
Darwin: C'mon, dude, let’s watch TV! [walks away with Gumball]
Bobert: C'mon, dude, let’s watch TV!
Darwin: What was that?
Bobert: Nothing!
Darwin: Oh, Ok! What are you waiting for? [leaves]
Bobert: [in Darwin’s voice] Oh, Ok! What are you waiting for? [roars menacingly like a tiger]
[Episode ends]
veTAWOGEPISODESfont Transcript
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