[The episode starts with Gumball walking down a school hallway. Darwin peers around the corner behind him]
Darwin: Psst! [Gumball turns around] I need to talk to you about the pants.
Gumball: Well come closer, then.
Darwin: No thanks. I don't want to get contaminated by your buffoonery.
[The camera zooms out to reveal Gumball wearing oversized, baggy pants]
Gumball: [Annoyed] What's wrong with my pants?
Darwin: Dude, it looks like a gnome is carrying you on his shoulders.
Gumball: Look who's talking. Have you seen your sandals?
[The camera pans down on Darwin, revealing leather, heavily-strapped sandals]
Gumball: You look like you're about to walk on water.
Darwin: Well you look like you prolapsed your whole digestive system!
Gumball: You look like a Visigoth tourist!
Darwin: You look like you're wearing the back-end of a horse costume!
Gumball: Yeah, well you look like this!
[Gumball rotates his hand between a thumbs up and thumbs down. He pauses briefly with his thumb pointed up with a sharp inhale, but quickly reverts to a thumbs down and a raspberry]
Darwin: Hey, dude, only one guy can judge me. [Points towards the sky for a second before moving it to point forward] Leslie! If there was a fashion police, he'd be the town sheriff, only more fabulous.
Gumball: Are you pointing at that broken accordion on a pile of trash?
[Cut to a shot of a broken accordion on a pile of trash]
Darwin: Sorry, it's hard to tell what's what since his high-fashion phase.
[A sequence plays showing Leslie walking down the school hallways in increasingly cutting-edge fashion set to catwalk music]
Uh, head shot, body shot
Paparazzi, twist and bop
Uh, head shot, body shot
Looking nasty, turn and smile
Catwalk beauty, catwalk beauty
[Cut back to Gumball and Darwin in the hallway]
Gumball: Yeah, fair enough. Where is he, though?
Darwin: Come to think of it, I haven't seen him in weeks. Wait, what is that?
[Gumball and Darwin see a pile of petals on the floor. Gumball picks one up]
Gumball: Hmm, petals. [Gasps] It's a clue.
Darwin: What do you mean?
Gumball: Think about it -- what has petals? Flowers. What is made of flour? Bread. Who eats bread? Everyone, apart from people who can't eat gluten. Who doesn't eat gluten? People on a made-up diet. What kind of people are usually on fad diets? Drama queens. Who are usually drama queens? Actors. And what do actors do in real life? They work as waiters in the food industry. And where do they lie about not working in the food industry? [Points behind Darwin] In their dressing rooms.
[Gumball opens the door to the school theater's backstage dressing room. Inside, Leslie is sobbing and turned away from them]
Darwin: Huh! You were right!
Gumball: You said that like it was a surprise. [To Leslie] Hey dude, could you help us decide on which one of us looks worse?
[Gumball pokes Leslie's back, causing him to turn around and reveal a horrific face to a dramatic sting. Gumball and Darwin react with shock]
Darwin: Question answered!
Gumball: Dude, what in the ever-loving what happened to your face?!
Leslie: [Sighs] My beauty... it's fading.
Darwin: It's not that bad. I mean, if I just squint -- Oh wait, no, that's still pretty bad. But if just [Waves fins over eyes] -- no, that's -- that's not great, either. But if I just... [Turns around] See? That's better.
Gumball: You see, true beauty is found on the inside. Your personality.
Leslie: Good-looking people don't need a personality! Personalities were invented by ugly people to make up for what they lack on the outside!
Gumball: But you can't spell "beautiful" without "B-U."
Leslie: And you can't spell "hideous" without "hide" which is what I'm doing! [Sobs]
Darwin: [Lifts up Leslie's face] Don't worry. We'll help you get pretty again.
Leslie: Thank you.
[Leslie looks up and smiles at Darwin, but then frowns. Camera zooms out to reveal that Darwin was using a broomstick to lift his face]
Darwin: Sorry. It's just... your face!
Gumball: Let's start with accessories. Hopefully it will distract from the... everything.
Leslie: Is that why you carry Darwin everywhere you go? [Clicks his fingers] Mm-mm!
Gumball: You know, when you're pretty and you say something mean, people think you're sassy. But with a face like that, people think you're sasquatch. Now come on. Accessorize.
[Leslie takes the box of accessories. Time lapse to Leslie wearing everything that was in the box. He then puts sunglasses on]
Gumball: Ugh. It looks like the ugly tree and the Christmas tree had a baby and let him dress itself for school. So, yeah! Definitely an improvement.
[Leslie starts to suffocate]
Gumball: Look, he's speechless.
[Leslie falls to the ground.]
Darwin: Wow! He fainted from happiness!
Gumball: Now he's having spasms of satisfaction!
[Leslie is still suffocating]
Gumball: Uh, Leslie? Is something wrong? [pulls a scarf off Leslie]
Leslie: I can't.. photosynthesize...
Gumball: Is that when you store all your photos in a cloud or...
Leslie: [out of breath] I can't breathe!
Darwin: [gasps] Quick! Give him CPR!
Gumball: Uh, ok o—
[Gumball quickly takes off some of Leslie's clothes to try and give him CPR, but backs off in disgust]
Gumball: Ugh, I can't, he's so ugly. [Gumball tries to give Leslie CPR from a distance]
[Darwin, impatient, pushes Gumball's head down. After a moment, they stop, out of breath]
Leslie: [Slaps Gumball] Who told you... to stop...
Gumball: Nononono— [Darwin pushes him] NOOOOOOOO—
The Cheerleader Effect
[Scene cuts to a long shot of the stadium. Zooms in to Gumball, Darwin and Leslie]
Gumball: Ok, so you know about the Cheerleader Effect, right?
Leslie: What's that?
Gumball: It's an optical mind trick. When girls hang out in groups, they look prettier.
Molly, Carmen and Teri: Go Elmore, Go!
[Molly, Carmen and Teri turn around, one at a time. Each time, their faces are replaced by beautiful, live-action ones.]
Gumball: Come on, let's try it. Hey Penny!
Gumball: How do we look? [Gumball, Leslie and Darwin come closer together, aiming for the Cheerleader Effect, but their faces get more distorted]
Penny: Ah, you're going for the Cheerleader Effect right?
Gumball: [Muffled] Yes.
Penny: Sorry, but for boys it's the opposite. We call it the Frat-guy Effect, make you look like medieval pillaging creeps.
Gumball: But would you still love me if I looked like this?
Penny: Yeah, you'd still be the shining sun of my life.
Penny: Impossible to live without, [aside] but it would really hurt my eyes to look at you directly.
Gumball: [His face and Darwin's turns back to normal. He walks up to Penny] What about now?
Penny: [Kisses Gumball on the cheek] Much better.
Leslie: Well what about my face? [still distorted]
Darwin: Well, it's like, you know when a movie comes out and you say, "The sequel can't possibly be worse!" then it is? Well, it's like the tenth movie.
[The scene cuts to Leslie sobbing on a bench in the park, while Gumball and Darwin sit next to him. He looks up, revealing an even more hideous face]
Gumball and Darwin: Ahh!
Gumball: How is that possible? You look even uglier than a second ago.
Darwin: You're right. His condition's deteriorating!
Gumball: Maybe you can try and... own it?
Leslie: What do you mean?
Gumball: You know, like our Grandpa Louie! He never lets his age get in the way of stripping off for his life-drawing classes! And he doesn't even care when the teacher body-shames him by saying, "There's no need to get naked when you're the one doing the drawing."
Darwin: He's right. If you got it, [winks] flaunt it.
[Time lapse to Leslie, who got hit by a police car and his roots are censored. Gumball and Darwin are cringing]
Gumball: You... may have flaunted it too much.
[Doughnut Sheriff is pouring water onto his unblinking eyes]
Doughnut Sheriff: Oh my gosh! My eyes, my eyes!!
At the Mall
[Scene cuts to the mall. Gumball is putting some moisturizer on Leslie's face]
Leslie: Mmm. What's that you're using?
Gumball: A moisturizer. It may help lift the asymmetrical drooping side of your face. [One side of Leslie's face droops. Gumball cringes] I guess we'll just have to wait for the opposite side to collapse instead.
Leslie: Hmm. What's in it?
Gumball: Uh, Aloe Vera?
Leslie: ALOE VERA?! Are you insane?
Gumball: What? Why?
Leslie: It's made of cactus, that's like rubbing the undead remains of your cousins on your face! NONE of that stuff is made for use on plants!
Darwin: Yet! Gentlemen, it's time for science.
[Transition to Elmore Junior High. Darwin is doing a series of experiments, with music playing in the background. The montage ends with Darwin saying:]
Darwin: Nothing. Normally when people do all that stuff and shout "Eureka" they get the answer. I just thought that was the formula for science.
[Gumball grabs a gardening book and eats a part of it.]
Leslie: What are you doing?
Gumball: Eating this gardening book to absorb its knowledge.
Leslie: Ugh! Gimme that!
Gumball: You gimme that! Wait, what were you gonna do with it?
Leslie: Read it!
Gumball: Yeah, well that's exactly what I was gonna do, so pffff. [whispering] Reading, reading, reading, reading—
[gasps] Got it! You need more sun.
[On the roof of the school, Leslie lays out on a reclining lawn chair as Gumball and Darwin spectate. The scene cuts to Gumball and Darwin]
[The scene cuts back to Leslie, who now has a tanning mirror. It cuts to Gumball and Darwin again]
[The scene cuts back to Leslie a third time, now surrounded by mirrors, while Gumball watches on with satisfaction. However, the amount of light shining on Leslie causes him to burst into flame and scream. Darwin frantically runs off to get a bucket of water, but before he can throw it upon Leslie, Gumball halts him]
Gumball: Wait. Maybe the fire will improve his face.
[It does not, and Leslie is left severely burnt. Gumball hums and flips through the gardening book nonchalantly]
Gumball: Oh! It says here that you might need more water.
[Darwin splashes Leslie with the bucket of water, knocking him backwards. They all look at each other in silence for a second]
Gumball: Maybe a little more?
[In the school hallway, Gumball and Darwin put a fire hose in Leslie's pot and turn it on, causing Leslie to swell up]
Leslie: [Muffled] How do I look?
Darwin: Like a bullfrog that got a face transplant from a grilled cheese sandwich?
Gumball: [Looking at the gardening book] Oh. It says here that the problem might be caused by a parasite.
[The scene cuts to a gardening store. Gumball and Darwin spray Leslie with fertilizer, causing him to suffocate]
Leslie: [Coughing] Wait!
[He puts his leaves over his face, and when he lifts them, discovers that he has become more handsome]
Leslie: [Gasps] I'm beautiful. Wait! I'm more beautiful than I've ever been!
[The camera pans out, revealing Leslie's rippling pecks as his leaves undulate in the wind]
Leslie: Look at me, world, and gag upon my eleganza!
[Leslie laughs diabolically, but the scene reveals itself to be a fertilizer-adled hallucination as he lies on the floor giggling, no less hideous. Gumball and Darwin look at him with disgust and spray him one more time, causing him to pass out]
A Very Simple Solution
Darwin: [Strokes Leslie's face] It doesn't matter. We still love you.
Leslie: I don't care if you— oh!
[The camera zooms out to reveal Darwin stroking Leslie with a hot dog. He slaps it out of his hand]
Leslie: I don't care about the people who love me! I've already got their validation. It's the people who don't love me I need to impress!
Gumball: [Reading the gardening book] Wait a second. Dude, I've got it! You're just wilting! It's completely normal.
Gumball: Yeah! And there's a very simple solution.
Leslie: What is it?
Gumball: [Points to a picture in the book] Eh?
[Camera zooms into the picture with a dramatic sting showing that the flower head is being cut off.]
Welcome to Gardening Thyme
[Scene cuts to Felicity entering the mall, but is interrupted by Leslie running away while Gumball and Darwin are chasing him]
Leslie: aaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
Darwin: Dude! Take it easy. It doesn't have to be an ordeal!
Gumball: Yeah! Think of it like a nice, relaxing bit of gardening.
[The scene switches to Gumball and Darwin in a garden, as gardeners in a gardening show.]
Gumball: [Talks to the viewers] Hello, and welcome to Gardening Thyme.
[The logo for Gardening Thyme appears]
Gumball: Today's episode is about the seasonal decapitation of flowers, or as [Picks a rose] we gardeners call it, [Smells the rose] dead-heading.
[Cuts to Leslie, who is still running away from them]
Leslie: You people are INSAAAAAANE!!! [Stops to look back at them] Aaahhhah! [Runs inside a parking lot]
[Inside the parking lot, Leslie is running around. The lights flicker, then Leslie looks at an elevator. The lights flicker again to reveal Gumball and Darwin in there]
Leslie: Ahh! [Runs away]
[The scene cuts to Harold, who is having trouble starting up his car.]
Harold: Come on, st— [Spots Leslie] AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Leslie: AAAAHHHHHHH—[Muffled] it won't start unless it's in park.
Harold: Hmm? [Rolls down the window]
Leslie: It won't start unless it's in park.
Harold: Oh, thanks. [Starts the car and punches Leslie] Aaahhhh!!! [Reverses into a pillar and drives off]
Leslie: I'm not a monster! I just look like one! [Gasps, then turns around to reveal Gumball and Darwin behind him]
[They snip their clippers, and go back to their 'Gardening Thyme' episode]
Gumball: You see Darwin, it is important to choose the right tools for the job.
Darwin: Why not a chainsaw?
Gumball: [laughs] Slow down there, we don't wanna make a mess. What we need is a clean cut to the stem.
Leslie: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! [Runs out of the parking lot] AAAhahahaaahh!!! Help! Help! Help! [Runs up to Banana Bob] Sir! Please help!!
[Banana Bob turns around holding a bouquet of flowers and a clipper. Leslie then runs to Patrick, about to beg for help, but sees him shredding a log]
[Leslie runs up to Mrs. Robinson and asks for help]
Leslie: Ma'am! Please help! There's these two kids who—[gasps]
[Mrs. Robinson is pouring some weed-killer on some weeds. She then turns around with a creepy face. The camera dramatically zooms in and Leslie runs away, only to run into Gumball and Darwin. They follow Leslie without appearing to be walking]
Leslie: [Terrified] Please, please! Leave me alone!
[A blanket falls on top of him. He takes it off, and looks at some underpants that he's holding. He puts them away to reveal Gumball and Darwin]
Leslie: AAAAAHHHHAHH! [He trips and falls into some compost]
[Back to the 'Gardening Thyme' episode]
Gumball: Make sure you don't waste the flower heads, add them to the compost heap.
Darwin: Very good point, Gumball. In time, their rotten remains will be eaten and excreted by worms. The resulting matter can be used to feed other plants.
[Leslie screams in terror and agony. He jumps through a basement vent and frantically calls for help]
Leslie: The police! I need to call the police! [His phone has no signal] Agh! No network! Come on, come on! [He hears voices and gasps] They're coming! [Turns off his phone]
Gumball and Darwin: [eerily] Leslie, where are you? Leslie...
[Leslie receives a notification. The phone lights up, with Gumball and Darwin behind him]
Leslie: Ahhhhhhhhh!!! [Tries to run away]
[The lights turn on, with Gumball and Darwin back to normal]
Gumball: Leslie, stop being such a drama queen and listen to us for a second!
Leslie: Since when is being scared of decapitation considered over-dramatic?
Darwin: We're doing this for your own good, man. Think about your face! It will just continue rotting!
Leslie: Wait, so you're saying that it's better to leave a hot memory than cold compost? I agree. [Signals for his head to be cut off] Do it!
Gumball: What? No, no, your head will regrow.
Leslie: Ah, alright then!
[He tries to pull his head off and after a few attempts, he is successful. He falls to the ground after. Gumball and Darwin stare in horror, but then go back to their 'Gardening Thyme' episode]
Gumball: And that concludes our episode.
Darwin: And when will we see our pretty new flower grow, Gumball?
Gumball: When spring comes back in about six months.
[Leslie's body comes up behind them and snips the clippers. The episode ends after a small moment of Leslie chasing Gumball and Darwin.]