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Terrible Family

Principal Brown: So, Mr. and Mrs. Watterson. I called you in today to discuss concerns regarding your daughter Anais. Judging by this alarming painting... [Camera points to Nicole in the painting] You madam are suffering from work-related stress. [Camera switches to Richard in the painting] You sir, are not a good role model. [Camera pans to Gumball and Darwin in the painting] And these two children are clearly lacking in discipline.
[Scene cuts to the shot of the Wattersons, all of them acting out exactly what the painting depicts]
Gumball and Darwin: Hahaa!
Nicole: Kids calm down, please! [crashing]
Principal Brown: When I look at this painting I see a family that- [pauses to glare at Gumball and Darwin, who are mockingly copying him] A family that has problems.
Anais: Principal Brown, if I may interrupt-
Principal Brown: [strokes Anais' head] Oh don't worry sweetie, it's not your fault... It's your fault! [points accusingly at Richard, who's fast asleep]
Richard: [in his sleep] I'm sorry Princess Cheesecake, the Sausage Fairy made me do it. [snores]
Nicole: Sweetie, I had no idea we were such a terrible family.
[Gumball and Darwin slide along Principal Brown's desk, giggling]
Nicole: Boys please!
Principal Brown: Anyway, for the good of your family... [raises a poster] I've drawn up a recovery schedule to get you back on track-
[Gumball and Darwin burst through the poster]
Principal Brown: I'll make it short. You madam need to stop working and relax. Your husband needs to stop relaxing and work. As for you, Gumball and Darwin...
[The boys both gasp as they think they're in trouble]
Principal Brown: You'll be spending the day with Mr. Small, the school counselor, to channel your energy in a less destructive way.
Nicole: Well Principal, we'd be happy to try anything if you think it's going to help Anais.
Anais: [frustrated] Can I just say something?
Nicole: [cuts Anais' speech short and pinches her cheek] You don't need to sweetie! We're all going to get better. Right boys?
Gumball and Darwin: Uh-huh.
Nicole: [louder and angrier, directed at the still snoozing Richard] I said, "Right boys?!"
Richard: [wakes up] Yes! Of course, honey. [whispers to Gumball] What did I just agree to?
Gumball: [whispers back] You gotta get a job.
Richard: [obviously not happy] Nooooooooo!
Nicole: [Richard is still screaming] Well, thank you Principal Brown, we'll do our best.
[The family leaves, but Richard is still in the room screaming]
Richard: Noooooo!
[Principal Brown looks around nervously, Richard's screaming begins to die down when Principal Brown looks at him]
Principal Brown: Uh, Mr. Watter-
[Richard starts screaming again]

Gumball and Darwin part 1

[The scene transitions to a large room, where Mr. Small instructs Gumball and Darwin]
Mister Small: Welcome to my five-step program for undisciplined children. Step one: Primal Scream!
Gumball and Darwin: What's that?
Mister Small: It's when you channel all your rage into a violent vocal release! Like this: [screams along with a violent echo] DAAAAAAHHHHH!
[Darwin jumps into Gumball's arms, they're both frightened]
Mister Small: You guys try it.
Gumball: I don't think I have any rage.
Darwin: Me neither.
Mister Small: [leans over and pats Gumball's head] Everyone has anger Gumball, just look inside yourself and find it.
Gumball: Inside? [opens up his mouth very wide, which makes his voice sound muffled] Do you see anything?
[Darwin looks into Gumball's mouth]
Darwin: [echoes] Uh, no, nothing at all.
Mister Small: Try it anyway.
Gumball: Okay. [takes a deep breath] Peewww!
Mister Small: Oh, you can do better than that!
Gumball: [takes another deep breath] Eeeeheeeeawww!
[Gumball's lips sputter and droop, he shakes his head back to normal]
Mister Small: Okay, Darwin, your turn. Take a deep breath, and let it all out.
[Darwin takes a deep breath, he begins to blow an enormous bubble. The bubble presses against Mr. Small, then he pops it. The scene abruptly changes to stock footage of a black and white house exploding, with a loud kaboom. The scene is then brought back to the lesson, Mr. Small and Gumball are both smeared by the explosion while Darwin smiles sheepishly, a high-pitched ringing is heard as well, suggesting they were deaf for a moment]

Nicole part 1

[The scene goes to the Wattersons' house]
Nicole: Okay Nicole, relax. It's for the good of my daughter, so I'm just going to sit and do nothing. [looks around apprehensively] Oh, this is going to be hard.

Richard part 1

[The scene changes to a building in downtown Elmore, Richard is standing around in the office with some fellow employees]
Richard: So, how about those FK Reports that Simon drew up?
Charlie: Oh yeah, I was reading them in the bathroom.
Richard: Too much information, Charlie!
[Charlie sadly walks away as the other two employees laugh]
3D Cube Employee: [laughs] I think you're the best employee we've ever had at Chanax Incorporated. Here's the key to the executive washroom. [hands the key to Richard]
Richard: [gasps and echoes] No way!
[the scene begins to fade, revealing it was only a dream sequence and Richard is standing outside of the building]
Richard: Well, all I have to do is make that dream come true and I'll be fine. '[his eyes burned with a full-fire background] I'll do it for you, my little girl! [his stomach gurgles] ...and need that key to the executive washroom.
[Richard charges at the automatic doors, but they do not open]
Richard: Ohh...
[The 3D Cube Employee and Newspaper Employee leave the building, then stop and laugh at Richard groaning as the doors close]
Richard: [grunts, charges to the doors quickly but gets hit again. When Richard places his right foot near the doors, they open. But when he places his foot very near to the doors, they close. Richard does this a few times then he plans a better idea]

Gumball and Darwin part 2

[The scene transitions back to the school]
Mister Small: Step two! We need to channel your destructive energy into something creative. Like painting!
Gumball and Darwin: Oh, okay!
Mister Small: When you think about painting, do you think about something like this? [points to a framed portrait of Mr. Robinson wearing a wig]
Gumball and Darwin: Yeah!
Mister Small: Well... YOU'RE WRONG! [slams the painting onto the floor and begins to hit it with a baseball bat] This is not painting! This is not painting! This! Is! Not! Painting! [drops a lit match onto the now destroyed painting] Burn! You relic of convention! [stomps out the fire, then holds up a paint can] Who wants to go first?
Gumball: [enthusiastically] Me! Me, me, me! Pick me!
[Mr. Small throws paint all over him]
Mister Small: The world is your canvas; now be the brush!
[Gumball's eyes open and get burnt by the paint]
Gumball: [screams] My eyes! It burns! [smashes into the walls crying and then slips]
Mister Small: Not bad. Your turn Darwin. [dumps paint on Darwin]
Darwin: [screams with high-pitch] It burns!

Nicole part 2

[The scene goes back to the Watterson residence, Nicole is furiously scrubbing the kitchen floor]
Nicole: Whew! So, that's the whole house washed, the car triple waxed, I've bleached the fruit, alphabetized the fridge and all its contents, and I've polished my cleaning products. Five hours before anyone gets home. [begins to glance around, then knocks over a vase] Whoops! Oh, how silly of me, well I guess I'll have to clean that up. Oh, there goes another one! Oh, what am I like?

Richard part 2

[The scene cuts to Richard, who is still outside the office building]
Richard: Come on Richard! You. Can. Do it!
[Richard runs at the automatic doors again, they don't open, he discovers that doors are deliberately closing when he tries to enter]
Richard: Duuh! [walks away in frustration]
Newspaper Employee: [confused] Huh? What are you-
Richard: Shh! Keep walking. [finally passes through the doors] Woohoo!

Gumball and Darwin part 3

[The scene transitions to the school again. Mister Small, Gumball, and Darwin are all wearing interpretive dance costumes]
Mister Small: Step three. Interpretive Dance.
Gumball: What is interpretative dance?
Mister Small: It's where you channel your emotions through body moves!
Gumball: That sounds kinda' silly.
Mister Small: [offended] Silly? You think this is silly? [he begins his interpretive dance] Mommy! Why must you work so much? Daddy, arise from your slumber, and appreciate me... I'm troubled! Troubled and loooosst... Don't hate me, because I'm beautiful! Sticks and stones can break; my bones. I will be reborn! Like a phoenix. [holds the 'x' in phoenix for a long time]
Gumball: Yep. That was kinda' silly.
Darwin: [with teary eyes] I thought it was beautiful!
Mister Small: Now, it's your turn. Come on Gumball!
Gumball: Alright. [he does a simplistic dance]
Darwin: [still teary eyed] Whoa! Amazing Gumball!
Mister Small: Now, pretend you're a hungry crab.
[Gumball does a crab walk]
Mister Small: Hungrier!
[Gumball gets scared and begins to hold his stomach]
Mister Small: Now, be the colour orange!
[Gumball does a pose]
Mister Small: That's yellow! I said orange! [Gumball does the same pose facing another direction] That's it.

Richard part 3

[Scene cuts to the office building, Richard is inside attempting to open the elevator doors to apply to a job, half of him gets clipped in the closing elevator doors]
Richard: [very strained] Hi, my name is Richard Watterson. I'm here for the job.
Receptionist: Good afternoon Mr. Watterson, this is your contract, please sign here, here and here.
[Richard signs the paper]
Receptionist: And here's your pink slip.
Richard: What does that mean?
Receptionist: It means you're seven hours and fifty-nine minutes late, and you're fired.
Richard: Oh. [The receptionist lifts Richard's finger off the counter, making him go back into the elevator] Thank you for your kindness. Bye!
[The elevator doors close and Richard grunts as his lips are painfully stretched]

Gumball and Darwin part 4

[The scene cuts back to the school]
Mister Small: Step four of your five step program, where you'll learn that the greatest enemy to a warrior of happiness is... [does a martial arts technique and holds out a board depicting a person with its hand covering its genitalia] Inhibition!
Gumball and Darwin: Hai! Small-sensei.
Mister Small: Destroy this negative feeling!
[Gumball comes forth and lets out a battle cry before smashing the board to no avail]
Mister Small: Again! [Gumball tries again] Again! [Gumball tries again] No, no... [impatiently] Come on! Destroy those inhibitions!
Gumball: [in pain] I'm trying!
Darwin: Don't worry buddy, I'll help you! [shrieks and runs towards the board with a bat]
Mister Small: Wha- [gets scared and hides in the closet]
Darwin: Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo inhibitions! [catches breath] Shooooo! We did it Mr. Small!
[Mr. Small looks relieved and walks back over to them]
Mister Small: Oh! Very good kids. You're now black belts in Smallkwondo. And remember boys: When the monkey looks at the mountain...
Gumball and Darwin: He is looking for bananas.
Mister Small: Dismissed.
[The duo starts to scuttle out the door]
Gumball: Wait a minute! What about step five?
Mister Small: [laughs] The fifth step was within you all along; just be yourselves.
Gumball: Weak.

Whole Family's Here

[The scene transitions to the Wattersons', Nicole is destroying nearly everything in the living room]
Nicole: [crazed] Oh, oh no, it's broken! How will I ever clean it all up? [laughs] I feel so relaxed!
[Richard walks inside and rips off his shirt before sitting on the couch]
Richard: I never want to work again! It was horrible! [whines and then falls asleep]
[Gumball and Darwin walk in]
Gumball: Hi mom!
Nicole: Oh, hi kids. How was your day?
Darwin: We had loads of fun!
Gumball: We learned to dance, scream, paint, [with Darwin] and smash stuff!
Nicole: Smash stuff?! That sounds interesting!
[Anais and Principal Brown are standing outside the door]
Principal Brown: So, let's see what positive effect my program has had on your barbaric family.
Anais: [angrily] Principal Brown! Can I just say-
Principal Brown: Oop! There's nothing to worry about sweetie. Now, say hello to your all-new, healthy, responsible family!
[Principal Brown opens the front door and presents the new and improved Wattersons, all of whom are acting completely out of their minds]
Principal Brown: What is going on here?! [Everybody freezes] You've made no progress whatsoever!
[Everyone begins blaming each other except Anais]
Anais: [loudly] Excuse me! [Everyone all stops arguing] If you'd listened for a second, you'd have known I never wanted anyone's change.
Nicole: But, I thought you were unhappy honey! That painting?
Anais: That painting says, "I love my family" exactly as they are.
[Anais giggles happily and skips over to Richard, who rubs her head lovingly]
Richard: Does that mean I don't have to go back to work?
Anais: Uh huh.
Richard: Yes! [falls asleep]
Anais: Can I play with you guys now?
Nicole: Of course, there you go honey. [hands a vase to Anais]
Anais: Hai-yah! [smashes it on the floor, everyone goes crazy again]
Principal Brown: Well, good job everyone... I'll let myself out. [leaves but soon comes back] Oh, and you'll go back to your normal class tomorr- [Darwin dumps paint on him]
Darwin: Be the brush!
Principal Brown: It burns...
[Episode ends]
veTAWOGEPISODESfont Transcript
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