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Cleaning Under the Bed

[Exterior of the Watterson house]
Gumball: [Off-screen] Ugh, what's the point of cleaning under the bed? It's like cleaning a dumpster! It's designed to be filthy.
[Cut to Gumball and Darwin's bedroom]
Nicole[Rummaging under the bed] Because this room smells like dog barf. [Pulls out a glass of milk] Ugh! What is this?
Gumball: Oh, that's a glass of milk.
[Nicole turns the glass upside-down and the milk, which seems to be completely solid, starts sliding out, extremely slowly]
Gumball: ...Cheese. That's a glass of cheese.
[The milk falls through the floor and onto Richard, who is seen eating a sandwich. He shrieks in agony]
Gumball: ...Stone. That's a glass of stone.
Nicole: Are you kidding me? That milk had to be at least ten years old.
Darwin: [Pulls out a moldy slice of pizza from under the bed] Well, at least there's nothing alive under there.
[The pizza slice suddenly grows spider legs and squeals. Darwin screams and drops it, and then it crawls out the open window. Gumball continues to clean and finds a fish skeleton]
Nicole: [Gasps] Darwin The First? So that's where you were hiding, oh!
Darwin: [Suspiciously] Wait, I thought you said that Darwin the First left to live happier life on a farm with other fishes.
Gumball: [Laughs nervously and pats Darwin gently] Huhuh huh, he did... He did...
[Nicole pulls out Dodj Or Daar game from the bed]
Nicole: Uhh... [Nervously] Hey, Look what I found, the game you made.
Darwin: Hang on, I'm not three anymore, you're not going to distract me with- what the what!?
[The first of many huge noises tempting them to play the game suddenly sounds]
[Nicole flicks Darwin the First's skeleton away while they are distracted]
Darwin: Dodj or Daar, it's calling us...
Gumball: [Pulls Darwin away, gets the game and puts it in the garbage bag] No! We swore we'd never play that game again.

The Game Starting

[The huge noise plays. Gumball and Darwin are in the kitchen, eating their lunch]
Gumball: Just ignore the calls. [Sips a cup of soda]
[The huge noise plays again, twice. Darwin accidentally squirts too much ketchup; Gumball's soda comes out of his nostrils and again, he tries to eat a sandwich, which he does, but in the process puts his hands through his ears, instead of eating the sandwich]
Gumball: We have to destroy that game.
[Darwin and Gumball run to the garbage can and open it]
Gumball: It's gone!
[The huge noise plays again]
[Darwin and Gumball run to the house and finds Anais, Nicole and Richard playing it]
Gumball and Darwin: Wait!
[The others then turn around, all of them are confused; the boys leap toward them in slow motion]
Gumball and Darwin: Don't throw the dice!
[Richard throws the dice, Gumball and Darwin fall then fall to the ground]
Gumball: You don't know what you're doing!
Richard: Yeah, cause you didn't write any instructions.
Anais: But what you did write was spelled wrong, Dodj or Daar? Sounds like an alien choosing a baby name.
Richard: Let's just pack it away.
Gumball: No, you can't stop! Once you start Dodj or Daar, [Ominously] it has to be finished!

Playing the Game

[Exterior of the Watterson house]
Gumball: [off-screen] Ok, the rules are pretty simple. [On-screen, gesturing toward the game board] You roll the dice and pick a Daar card. If you do the Daar, then you go forward that many spaces. If you don't then you have to take a Dodj card and move half the spaces.
Nicole: Okay, and how do you win?
Gumball: [Ominously] You don't win, you survive!
Nicole: Okay... but how do you actually win?
Gumball: Oh, you have to roll an exact number to land on the last square. Dad, you're up.
Richard: [Laughs] I feel sorry for whoever's gonna do this one!
[Everybody looks at Richard. Richard realizes and frowns]
[Cuts to place where the Doughnut Sheriff is]
Richard [Runs to Doughnut Sheriff] Officer please, I need to report a theft.
Doughnut Sheriff: Yes, finally! What did the thief look like?
Richard: Well, he was wearing a monocle.
[Doughnut Sheriff writes it down when he sees Richard wearing a monocle]
Doughnut Sheriff: Okay... Uh, anything else?
Richard: Yes, he had a big furry mustache!
[Doughnut Sheriff writes it down again when he sees Richard again this time wearing the big furry mustache]
Doughnut Sheriff Okay... any other distinguishing features?
Richard: Yes, he was dressed as a yodeller! .... Aren't you gonna write that down?
Doughnut Sheriff: Just testing something.
[Doughnut Sheriff blinks for a second and sees Richard dressed as a yodeler just as Richard says]
Doughnut Sheriff: Ah! And what did that man steal?
Richard: [Gets close to Doughnut Sheriff] A kiss.

Prank Pizza

[Nicole and Anais are laughing while Richard rubs his injured eye with a piece of meat]
Anais: You actually did it!? [Laughing]
Gumball: Oh yeah. That's how it always starts with the laughing and the daars and then later... [Ominously] the horror and fear...
[The ominous drama then ends]
Nicole: My go. [rolls the dice and takes a Daar card] Hmmm...order a prank pizza.
Larry: Uh huh, and what's the address?
Nicole: [Laugh] Four-twenty Grove Street. Oh, and can you add some turkey gizzards?
Larry: Along with the ice cream, pigs foot, and oysters?
Nicole: Yes, it's an old family recipe invented by my grandfather. Old Joe Windybags!
[All laugh except for Gumball and Darwin]
Richard:  Oh man, [Wipes a tear of laughter off his cheek] I wish I could be there to see that pizza arrive!
Larry: Ok, four-twenty Grove Street, here we go. [Drives away on his bike, arrives back at the Pizza Shop and knocks on the doors] Pizza guy! [Takes off delivery cap and puts on his worker cap] What are you talking about? I sell pizzas, why would I buy one?! [Switches back to delivery guy] Well someone's gotta pay for this. [Changes back to seller] I'm not paying for something I didn't order! [Back to delivery guy] What am I suppose to do with this now? [Back to seller] Give it to me I'll show ya! [Makes a motion to throw the pizza and smacks it on his own face] I think all these jobs are messing with my head.

The First Dodj

[Back to the Watterson house as Anais struggles to put on a hat]
Anais: I'm now wearing everything... in the house! [Anais is now seen wearing every piece of clothing in the entire house. She is also now in the shape of a huge ball, and can barely move her arms, hands and legs] Ok, can someone move me forward? [Gumball pushes her and she rolls into a table, causing a flowerpot to break] I meant my piece on the -- UH! 
Nicole: Ok, that's six spaces putting you ahead of Gumball, Darwin, Dad, and... me. Although technically it says everything in the house.
Anais: I am wearing everything! Even Dad's fat camp girdle!
Nicole: Everything, Anais, Not just clothes. The couch is a thing, are you wearing that?
Anais: What?! But...
Nicole: No arguing, young lady. You need to learn to be a good loser. [Moves Anais' piece back six spaces] Now take your Dodj. [Takes one card from the Dodj deck] "The floor is now red hot lava".
[Suddenly, the bottom of Anais' extra layers of clothes gets very hot, and Anais leaps out of the clothes onto the couch, squealing]
Anais: [The bottom of her socks turn red; she rubs them] I actually felt that through six pairs of shoes!
Darwin: IT'S STARTING! We have to finish the game quickly before it gets a hold of us and destroys us all!
Gumball: Dude, keep it together!
Darwin: Get a grip on yourself, you're under-reacting!
Gumball: THANKS, MAN! I got bit calm for a second but now I realized how serious this is!
[Darwin rolls the dice; picks a Daar card on the Daar desk]
Darwin: AAH! DARE! "RUN PAST A DOG WEARING A SUIT OF HAM!" That doesn't sound too bad.
Gumball: [Doubtfully] Really? Don't you remember when I got that one?
[Flashback shows Gumball running past a dog herd wearing meat products; he jumps over the fence. Then, Richard suddenly appears out of nowhere and bites Gumball, and shakes him]
Gumball: The worst part is it took four weeks to stitch that suit together and it was gone in under a minute.
[Richard laugh mysteriously; and makes a vampire face again; Darwin is horrified]
Darwin: [screams] You're right, I'll take a Dodj! [picks up a Dodj card] "Your left arm must do like the player to your right's arm does and vice versa".
Anais: What does that mean?
Richard: It means I can do this! [Points to Anais, making Darwin poke Gumball]
Gumball: Hey! [Richard pokes repeatedly while Gumball says "hey!" altogether]
[Gumball grabs Darwin's arm and slaps him; Richard slaps himself, too]
Gumball: Dare, "take a dodge". Aww, man. [Picks up a card]) "CSD".
Anais: What's CSD?
Gumball: Compulsive Singing Disorder. It means that I could sing at ANYTIME. [Singing "anytime" loudly and cheerfully]
Richard: "Eat one-hundred hot dogs in under a minute". That's not a dare! That's Tuesday.
[Richard goes to the kitchen. Then Darwin appears to "eat" very quickly due to the effect of the last dodge, and stops, nearly breathless]
Darwin: I think he stopped. [His left hand moves to his mouth] Aw dude, he's drinking the brine!
Nicole: Boys, I'm not using spray cheese instead of deodorant. Give me a dodge card. [Takes the card from Gumball] From now on, you will doubt every thought you have. That's ridiculous. There's no way a board game can make that happen.
[A freaky head suddenly grows on Nicole's head]
Freaky head: Or can it?
Nicole: Is that head real?
Darwin: It's as real as you believe it is, until the game ends.
Gumball: Maybe now you're starting to realize... [Singing] HOW DANGEROUS THIS GAME REALLY IS... That came out way less ominous than I was hoping for.
Anais: Give me the dice. [Steps on the floor and jumps onto couch, rubbing her burning socks] AH-Ah-ah-- WHY IS IT STILL BURNING!?
Darwin: We told you, nothing stops until you finish the game.
Nicole: Well then, I'm finishing the game right now.
Freaky head: Or are you?
Nicole: [Sigh] Every sentence you say is going to start with "or" isn't it?
Freaky head: Or is it?
Nicole: I'll take that as a yes.
Freaky head: Or will--
Nicole: YES!!
Gumball: It won't make any difference, Mom. The game's too powerful.
Nicole: The only power this game has is the power you give it.
Darwin: Then why's my hand moving again?
Nicole: The game's finished, Richard.
Richard: But these pickled eggs aren't!
[Nicole sighs; Nicole comes to Darwin, takes his right hand and hit the left one; In the kitchen, Richard drops the food he's eating]
Richard: Oh! Aww...

At Nicole's office

[Phone ringing]
Nicole: Rainbow Complaints Office. How can I help you? This sounds like a very simple problem.
Freaky head: Or is it?
Nicole: Zip it, you goblin-faced lump! No, sir, I wasn't talking to you. [To the client on the line, who's angrily shouting at her] I'm sure you're a very handsome man.
Freaky head: Or is he?
Nicole: Don't you think it's hard enough to deal with idiots all day without you pestering me, too? [To the client who's yelling] Sorry, yes, sir, I suppose some of that was directed at you.[Client yelling] Yes, of course I'll put you through to my supervisor.
Freaky head: Or will you?
Nicole: I'm gonna pop you, you-- [Hits herself very hard with the headset and knocks herself out]

At Mr. Small's class

[Gumball is reading aloud his essay in front of the class]
Gumball: And so, in conclusion, if earth temperature were to rise by just one degree, average sea levels would rise, leading to a MASSIVE TRAGEDY. [He sings the last part cheerfully, and the class laughs]
Mister Small: [Looking upset] Oh, I didn't realize you thought global warming was such a laughing matter. Three hours detention. [To the class; Gumball goes back to his place] Now, who would like to volunteer for my outdoor meditation retreat instead of having a summer vacation?
Darwin: [Raising his left arm] What the? [Darwin pulls his arm down. At the shed at home, Richard's left hand his pulled down too. He tries to raise it again to get the chainsaw]
Richard: Come--on--
Mister Small: Very good Darwin. And who wants to take the vow of silence, as well?
[Darwin's trying to pull his arm down again]
Darwin: Come--on--
Mister Small: You won't regret it. And finally, we also need a volunteer for the eco protest this weekend where we chain ourselves to a doomed tree for forty-eight hours.
[Darwin's arm keep being raised against his will]
Mister Small: Are you sure, Darwin? I'm not gonna lie to you, buddy. We're gonna get maced.
[Darwin manages to get his arm down. Meanwhile, the chainsaw in Richard's uncontrolled hand destroys part of the shed]

It's Do or Die Time

[Everyone comes back home, where Anais is sitting on the couch in the living room massaging her socks]
Everyone except Anais: We have to finish the game!
Richard: Just roll the cards and p-ck the dice! Just get on with it!
Gumball: OK. We need maximum rolls every turn, which means no Dodjs, no matter how bad the Daars are. Agreed? [Rolls the dice and draws a daar card] Dodj.
Anais: What happened to taking every Daar?
Gumball: Do you really want to see me clean myself with my tongue?
Everyone except Gumball and Darwin: EW!
Darwin: Dodj! Dodj! Dodj!
Gumball: Dramatic music will play 'til the end of the game. [Dramatic music begins to play]
Richard: Daar! Juggle flaming knives. [Holds two flaming knives]
Nicole: Come on, Richard! You can do it!
[Richard tosses the knives and they plunge into the ceiling]
Nicole: Never mind! We'll deal with that later. [Rolls the dice and draws a Daar card] Drive a car from the backseat.
[Nicole tries to drive the car from the backseat with two broomsticks]
Nicole: I can do it! I can do it!
Freaky Head: Or can you?
Nicole: [Grunts] SHUT UP, WILL YOU?
[She punches her head and loses control of the car. The car then hits a street light, making it fall down onto the Wattersons' house]
[Anais moves her piece on the board]
Anais: Dodj bomb. What's that?
Gumball: [Sings] Everyone, TAKE A DODJ CARD.
[Everyone sighs and draws a dodj card]
Anais: Freeze frame. Does that mean I'll-- [Se literally freezes like someone pressing the pause button, and there can be lines of static shown like on a VHS tape]
Darwin: [Panicking] See? That's what we told you! If we all get stuck by a dodj, we'll remain like this forever!
Gumball: Groovy earthquake. [Gumball's shaking]
Richard: Gravity is your enemy, what does that-- [Richard gets squished]
Nicole: Giant hands. [Her hands grows big]
Freaky Head: Or are they?
[She punches her head and knocks herself out in to the backyard]
Darwin: Inverted mermaid!
[Nothing apparently happens]
Richard: Nothing happened.
Darwin: Well, I'm kind of that already... Fish head, legs.
Nicole: Come on! Roll the dice!
Richard: Date a sheep. [Cut to Richard and a sheep at the restaurant] I'll have the lamb, uh... I mean chicken [He looks at the waiter and realizes the waiter is a chicken] I meant the check!
[Back at the house]
Gumball: [Singing] Bathtub sled. [Rides the bathtub down the stairs and punches a hole through the front door]
Darwin: We're nearly there!
Gumball: Now we need to land on the last square with an exact roll.
Nicole: Here we go! [Rolls dice] Five! Oh no, Dodj bomb again. [Draws dodj card] No one is allowed to breathe until the game is over.
Freaky Head: Or are they?
[Everyone suffocates]
Gumball: Please... be a six.
[The die is thrown, and it does not result in a six]
Nicole: Are you kidding me? [Smashes the ground, moving the dice, which now shows a six]
[All effects caused by the dodjs disappear, and the Wattersons are able to breathe again]
Gumball: Yes! We survived, all the effects of the game have been reversed... [Notices all the damage brought about by their own actions is still present] almost.
[Episode ends]
veTAWOGEPISODESfont Transcript
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