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Gumball's Good News

[The Wattersons are sitting down for dinner, Richard looks beat up and is telling a story as everyone is looking at him]
Richard: And that's why you should never mix Pop Rocks and soda!
Nicole: OK... Anyone else have a riveting tale?
Richard: I do!
Nicole: Richard, let's hear from the children.
Gumball: Well, Penny asked me out on a date. No biggie.
Nicole: She did? That's great news! What did she say?
Gumball: Well...
[Flashback to earlier in the day]
Gumball: Excuse me, what!?
Penny: Do you want to come around to my house this Saturday?
Gumball: Me, with you, at your place?
Penny: You see, it's Mr. Cuddles' funeral...
[Gumball ignores the rest of what she says as he daydreams about her before cutting back to the present]
Gumball: Yeah, that's about it.
Nicole: Oh, my little boy is becoming a man. [Tries to hug Gumball, but Gumball fights back, but in the end he ends up hugged by Nicole]
Gumball: Mom.
Darwin: Man, you're my hero. You're going on this big date but you're not even nervous. I've been freaking out! I mean think about it, if you blow it, she'll never speak to you again. And you would be left alone for the rest of your life, and never find happiness!
[Gumball becomes panic]
Nicole: Don't worry sweety, just be yourself! That's all a girl wants.
Gumball: [Sigh in relief] Thanks, mom.
Nicole: See you after work! [Goes to work]
Gumball, Darwin and Anais: Bye!
[Richard laughs]
Gumball: What?
Richard: Listen son, ignore everything your mother just said.
Gumball: Why?
Richard: Look, women only think they want us to be ourselves because they don't know how wretched we actually are. What you have to do is think of someone really cool and attractive and be them!
Gumball: R-Really? B-But, Anais is this true?
Anais: I'm gonna have to go with dad on this one. You're kind of a loser, Gumball.
Richard: Exactly.
Anais: Sorry.
Gumball: What am I gonna do? I really like Penny. I want her like me too.
Darwin: You could start by being romantic. Dress up a little, buy her some presents.
Gumball: Well I can't do any of those things. I don't have any money.
Richard: Listen son, you don't need money to show a girl a good time. You think I have money?
Gumball: Err... No.
Richard: Do you see mom leaving me?
Gumball: Yeah, everyday she go to work and earn money.
Richard: [Laughing] There's other ways to get stuff without spending money.
[Richard comes closer to Gumball]
Richard: Do you want to hear the secrets kept in centuries by Watterson men?
Gumball: I... don't have any choice, do I?
Richard: No! Come with me. [Walks off]
[Gumball follows]

Shopping

[Richard walks outside the house with Gumball]
Richard: First things first, we need to get you some nice clothes.
Gumball: Yeah, Penny loves fashion! That's a great idea!
[Richard and Gumball arrive at the dump]
Richard: Here we are. The greatest department store in the world, where everything is free! [His voice echoing in the whole dump] So anything new? [Picks up a dirty clothes] Woo, that's nice.
Gumball: What the- You're going to get my date's clothes out of the dump? Oh, man that's gross. [Shivering]
Richard: I didn't hear you complaining when I gave you that sweater.
Gumball: What? My favorite sweater came out of the dump?
Richard: No! Don't be silly. [Picks up other things from the dump] I found it in a sewer outlet.
Gumball: Oh, man... I wear this all the time...

After Shopping

Richard: You are gonna look smashing!
Gumball: You think so?
Richard: Right! You've got the look, but you're gonna need a bit of money in your pocket so you can treat her on the date. And I'm going to show you a great way of getting money for free! Behold... [Shows Nicole's credit card] the credit card! I simply take this magic card, insert it like so, type in the secret magic number that mom told me,  and money comes out of the mouth!  It works every ti... [Sneezes into the money and uses it to wipe his face and throws it away] You see? Here you go, son.
Gumball: Awesome. 

Getting Ready

[Back to the Wattersons]
Gumball: [Puts on a hat] Hey, hey, beautiful! Oh hey, Penny! I didn't see you there! Yeah, I was just passing by, you know, chillin', with my uh, new hat, heh heh! I think I'm ready for my date!
Anais: Are you? Have you even considered how you're gonna behave on this date?
Gumball: Yeah, Probably gonna be well behaved.
Anais: I mean like manners and etiquette.
Gumball: Uh, uh. [Anais grabs him by the collar] Ah!

In Anais' Room

Anais: Start by pouring Ms. Pumpernickel cup of tea.
Gumball: I don't wanna.
Anais: Why?
Gumball: 'Cause she's looking at me funny. [Zooms in on Ms. Pumpernickel's face] See?
Anais: Gumball, she's a doll. Why don't you try having a civilized conversation with her? 
Gumball: Alright. So, how was your day Ms. Pumpernickel? Oh, I see. Too good to talk to me huh? You think you're better than me with your fancy little cups and la-di-da friends? Well you know nothing about life, Ms. Pumpernickel! And this is what I do to your fancy china! Ah, ah, ah! [Stomps on teacup]
Anais: Gumball, just get out of my room.

In the Living Room

Gumball: Okay, so I'm set: got my look, I know where I'm taking her, I'm ready to go!
Darwin: There's one thing you're not ready for...
Gumball: What's that?
Darwin: This! [Slaps Gumball]
Gumball: [Rubbing cheek] Ow! What was that?
Darwin: The unexpected, and you weren't prepared for it!
Gumball: Oh, uh I-I see what you mean.
Darwin: Follow me to the training camp!
Gumball: Where?
Darwin: Just come to the backyard.

Training with Darwin

Darwin: You've got to be prepared for anything on this date, because anything can happen.
Gumball: Like what?
Darwin: What if someone tries to MUG YOU!? [Stomps on rake]
Gumball: I don't know, call the police?
Darwin: Ah, wrong! Knock his block off!
Gumball: [Punches rake lightly] Like that?
Darwin: Uh, that was good, but its better to finish with a wisecrack. Women love that!
Gumball: Like what?
Darwin: Like... "Welcome to punch town. Population: you." 
Gumball: Are you sure this is gonna help me with my date?
Darwin: Totally.
Gumball: Okay... 
Darwin: [Stomps on rake with a cardboard drawing of Mr. Fitzgerald] [In a deep voice] Hi, I'm Penny's father and I don't approve of you because you don't have any prospects!
Gumball: Huah! [Pushes rake] I'm sorry daddy, but you're grounded!
Darwin [Stomps on rake with a cardboard drawing of Sebastian Longquin; in a British voice] Oh, hello, I'm Sebastian Longquin, Penny's successful ex boyfriend.
Gumball Huah! [Pushes rake] Looks like this ex is catching some z's!
Darwin: Is that all you got! [Stomps on rake with a cardboard drawing of a angry teddy bear with a broken heart in its chest] What do you say to someone who doesn't believe in love?
Gumball: Huah! [Grabs and rips the cardboard teddy bear's broken heart] You don't need that heart!
Darwin: Actually, that was a little too extreme, but I'll give you eight out of ten. Good job solider.
[Gumball leaves smiling]
Darwin: [Sighing] The hardest part of my job is watching them leave.

Ready to go

[Outside the Wattersons front yard, Richard, Darwin, and Anais are looking at Gumball, who is dressed up in a red coat, a top hat, and a cane]
Gumball: So?
Richard: Ohhh son, you look like a million bucks.
Darwin: I'm proud of you buddy, did you remember to TAH! [Attacks Gumball, but he blocks it] Very good, because I thought you're gonna be SURPRISED! [Attacks again, but Gumball blocks it again] Okay, but will you be prepared for THIRD SURPRISE! [Attacks a third time, Gumball once again blocks it]
Gumball: That one was pretty obvious dude.
Darwin: Oh
Gumball: This is gonna be the greatest date EVER!

Date Time

[Gumball rings the doorbell and Penny opens the door. Gumball has his back to the doorway and turns to Penny]
Gumball: Hey.
Penny: Oh, thanks for coming Gumball you look... umm, dressed. I guess you should come in.
Gumball: [Walking into Penny's house] Well, that's one way to get in the house [Chuckles]
Penny: [Follows Gumball into the house] Right.
[Inside Penny's house]
Gumball: Sooo, what do you want to do today?
Penny: Today is the funeral.
Gumball: [Shocked, he takes off his hat] Oh.
Penny: For Mr. Cuddles, my pet?
Gumball: [Relieved and puts his hat back on] Oh, thank goodness I thought it might be a real funeral [Chuckles, but notices Penny glaring at him angrily] I mean, pe-pets are great, like part of the family. So, what happened to him?
Penny: My dad flushed him down the toilet by mistake.
Gumball: [Snickers, and clearly tries to resist laughing out loud] That's terrible. Did it go around and around or straight down?
Patrick: Straight down. I'm Penny's father. [Tries to shake Gumball's hand]
Gumball: HI-YA! [Slaps Patrick's hand away] Blocked.
Patrick: Rrrright. Come to the backyard, the service is about to start.
Gumball: [Sigh] Penny, I'm sorry. I thought this was a date. Why didn't you tell me this was a funeral?
Penny: I did! In the corridor at school!
[Flashback]
Penny: Do you want to come to my house? It's Mr. Cuddles's funeral. I could use some support from a friend.
[Gumball stares at Penny happily]
Penny: Gumball, are you even listening?
Gumball: Errr, this Saturday, four PM. It's-It's a date. [Runs away giggling]
[Flashback ends]
Gumball: Oh, oh... Oh yeah. [Grabs Penny's hand] Don't worry, I'm still here for you Penny.
Penny: Thanks Gumball.
Gumball: [Sees himself holding Penny's hand] Awesome... DAY for remembering... those who have left us. Shall we go? [Walks away with Penny while putting his hat back over his head]

Mr. Cuddles's Funeral

[Scene changes to the Fitzgeralds' backyard. It is raining, and Mrs. Fitzgerald is playing the bagpipes while everyone stands in silence]
Penny: Gumball, perhaps you would like to say a few words about Mr. Cuddles.
Gumball: Err.. of course. [Walk towards Mr. Cuddles's grave] Well, Mr. Cuddles was Penny's pet. Even though I never met him, Penny's pretty hot. So I'm sure he was pretty hot too. [Walks away from Mr. Cuddles's grave]
Penny: Thank you Gumball. That was really special.
Pollie: My picture!
Gumball: Huh?
Penny: My sister made a photo tribute so we can all remember Mr. Cuddles.
Gumball: Aww, how thoughtful.
Pollie: Wanna see? [Shows Gumball a picture of Mr. Cuddles, a spider. As Gumball sees the picture, lightning flashes]
Gumball: [Squeals loudly] A SPIDER! [Knocks the picture to the ground] Knock his block off! [Starts stomping on the photo while talking quickly] That's awful! I hate spiders! Who would want something that creepy in their house?! [Keeps stomping on the picture before realizing it was the wrong thing to do]
Pollie: [Cries]
Patrick: Listen, son. I think it's best if you leave.
Gumball: I'll.. let myself out. [Walks away from the Fitzgeralds' backyard]
Patrick: Play on dear. [Mrs. Fitzgerald continues playing the bagpipe and Patrick starts singing]
Gumball: [Returns to the scene] Err, sorry. It's me again. Can I use your bathroom? Because it's kinda little-
Patrick: It's the second to the left upstairs.
Gumball: Thanks. [Runs away urgently]
[Mrs. Fitzgerald plays the bagpipe again and Patrick continues to sing]
Gumball: [Returns again] Have a nice funeral!
Patrick: Just get out of here!

Mr. Cuddles is Alive

[Scene changes to outside the Fitzgeralds' bathroom]
Gumball: Ah man. What is wrong with me? She's never gonna forgive me for that. I'll spend the rest of my life alone and never find happiness.
[Gumball lifts up the toilet bowl lid and Mr. Cuddles appears, hissing at Gumball]
Gumball: AHH! A SPIDER! Knock his block off! No wait.
[Scene changes to the Fitzgeralds' backyard; Gumball is banging on the bathroom window, trying to get the Fitzgeralds' attention]
Gumball: Hey! [Penny and Pollie turn around] I found Mr. Cuddles! He's on the toilet!
Pollie: Is he trying to say something?
Gumball: [Pointing at the toilet] He's on the toilet! Look! The. toilet!
Patrick: [Stops singing] Just ignore him! [Continues singing]
Gumball: [Back in the bathroom] [Sigh] I guess I'll have to show them. Come here little fella! [Gumball's voice changes to what Mr. Cuddles is hearing as we see a closeup of Mr. Cuddles' eyes] Who's a good spider? [Reaches his hands out to grab Mr. Cuddles] Who's a lovely little spider? [Voice changes back to normal] Oh good boy, Mr.- [Mr. Cuddles jumps onto his face] AHHHH!
[Scene changes to outside the bathroom window]
Gumball: Get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, GET IT OFF! Uhahh, UHAHHH! [Jumps out of bathroom window]
[Gumball then runs across the Fitzgeralds' backyard, slams into the fence, then grabs a shovel and repeatedly hits his face, with Mr. Cuddles still on it]
Penny: [Gasps and turns to look]
Patrick: [Stops singing] Don't look! You'll just encourage him! [Continues singing]
[Gumball then runs across the Fitzgeralds' backyard again, then starts rubbing his face on the dirt]
Gumball: [Pulls Mr. Cuddles off his face] Ah ha! [Mr. Cuddles bites Gumball] Ow! [Throws Mr. Cuddles away]
[Penny then catches Mr. Cuddles, and everyone stops singing]
Penny: [Squeals as Mr. Cuddles hits her head, then catches him] Mr. Cuddles? You're back! I thought you're gone forever! [Hugs Mr. Cuddles]
[The rain stops, the day turns sunny]
Pollie: Where did you find him?
Gumball: [Panting] In the toilet somewhere.
Penny: Gumball, this is amazing!
Gumball: [Panting] Oh, yeah yeah, it's great.
Patrick: Son, I stand corrected. I thought you were a good-for-nothing young troublemaker, but no, you-
Gumball: [Panting] Yeah whatever. One question, is that spider poisonous? 'Cause it just bit me.
Patrick: Yeah, but it's like a bee sting. You'd have to be bit like a hundred and fifty times for it to be dangerous!
Gumball: Okay, thanks. If you'll excuse me, I'll... go now. [Turns around to reveal a couple of bite marks on the back of his head] Bye.
[The Fitzgeralds then watch Gumball walking away slowly. Gumball then pauses for a moment, drops to his knees, and falls flat on the ground, unconscious]

Mr. Cuddles is "Sorry"

[Scene changes to the hospital, where Gumball is slowly regaining his consciousness]
Anais: Argh, he looks real bad.
Darwin: Disgusting.
Nicole: He looks awful!
Richard: He'll never play the clarinet again.
[Gumball is then revealed with large swellings all over his body, and has regained his conscious]
Nicole: Shh shh shh, he's waking up!
Richard: [Nervous laugh] Looking good, champ!
Nicole: Someone's here to see you honey!
Penny: Hi, Gumball.
Gumball: [Moans] Hey, Penny.
Penny: I brought someone here along who wants to sorry. [Shows Mr. Cuddles on her hands] Right, Mr. Cuddles?
[Mr. Cuddles then hisses at Gumball. The camera freezes as Mr. Cuddles jumps into the air towards Gumball, while everyone gasps in shock. The episode ends]
veTAWOGEPISODESfont Transcript
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