This episode was released on the Cartoon Network app and Video on Demand before it aired on TV on August 7, 2015.
In the U.S. broadcast, the episode fades to black right before the Doughnut Sheriff tasers Marvin. This edit is not present in the digital version of the episode sold on sites like iTunes and Amazon.com. This deleted scene can be viewed on YouTube right here.
The "Rap Music" graffiti piece from "Christmas" reappears.
[Gumball and Darwin sit on the front porch of their house.]
Gumball: No, dude, the cheerleaders aren't the most hardcore crew. If you fight them, they'll just be cheering you to win.
Darwin: How 'bout the drama kids? [dramatically] They're masters of disguise!
Gumball: Eh, I don't want to join a crew that wears wigs and tights. How 'bout the bullies?
Darwin: It's already too late for us. [shakes fists at sky] Darn you, loving parents!
[Gumball and Darwin sigh.]
Gumball: Maybe we should think bigger.
Darwin: [gasps] You know who really rules the school? Teachers.
Gumball: Yeah, but do you seriously want to put up with us two all day? I don't think it pays that well, either. I mean, you've seen Principal Brown working at the car wash. [flashback to the car wash, where Principal Brown is "working" as a spinning brush, then back to the porch] I think we can do better than that. [gasps]
Most Hardcore Crew
[Rap music plays as Donald, Marvin and Betty walk down the street.]
Gumball: [awestruck] Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
Darwin: I'm not sure.
Donald: [groans in pain] Curse this arthritis!
Darwin: What exactly do you see?
Gumball: I see people who don't pay the government; the government pays them to sit around all day and watch TV! I see people so street that they have their own seats on the bus, in which nobody else dares to sit! I see people who can say the most offensive things that come into their heads and get away with it because things were different back then! Do you see what I see?
Darwin: The most hardcore crew on the streets of Elmore!
[In front of the seniors' house]
Darwin: It's gonna take a lot to get noticed by these guys!
Gumball: I know, they're pretty baller. Try and do a fly walk. [Darwin attempts to do as he says] Dude, what was that?
Darwin: I don't know, I just got really walk-conscious. You do it!
Gumball: Okay. I-I'll try to wear my pants low, for a better street effect. [walks across screen with his pants to his ankles] Is it working? I kinda feel like a toddler.
Darwin: Keep your chin high, like you're scared of nothin'! Higher! Higher!
Gumball: [slides off-screen][sighs] Why don't we just ask them? [approaches Marvin] Excuse me?
Marvin: [screams] Oh, sorry, you were only talking to me. It's just, I'm not used to being treated like a human being anymore. So, what do you want, kid?
Joining the Crew
Gumball: [bows] We wanna be part of your crew!
Marvin: Huh? You wanna be a senior citizen?
Gumball: I know we have to earn it first. How did you get in?
Marvin: I worked a thankless job for sixty-three years, then I was given a fake gold pen and got cast aside by society.
Gumball: We'll do anything.
Marvin: You could just drop by for a chat from time to time. It would be nice to feel like we exist.
Gumball and Darwin: YES! Thank you! [chanting] We're gonna be part of the crew, we're gonna be part of the crew, we're gonna be part of the crew...
[At the Wattersons' house]
Gumball: Okay, if we're going to be seniors, we have to look the part.
Darwin: Respect your elders! Represent, seniors!
Gumball: No, no, no, seniorz, with a "z."
Darwin: Oh. Zeniors!
Gumball: No! [sighs] Nevermind. We just have to look old school.
Darwin: We need wrinkles!
[At the pool of toxic waste]
Darwin: I don't think pollution is that great at aging us.
Gumball: Yeah, I don't think I'm much different.
Darwin: [thoughts]Well, at least there were no side effects.
Gumball: [nervous] I don't know, I'm pretty sure I can hear your thoughts now.
Darwin: Let's get out of here before anything happens to me! [objects are being magnetized to Darwin]
[In the backyard of the Wattersons' house, Gumball and Darwin cover themselves in salt.]
Gumball: Now we just need to hang in the sun, and that should jerky-fy us up real nice.
[They hang on the clothesline. Richard smells them from the living room and licks them.]
Gumball: No! Dad, you moisturized us!
Richard: I don't know what's more upsetting: the fact I was gonna eat you, or the fact I can't. [runs away]
[Gumball and Darwin have their heads in the bathtub.]
Darwin: Are you pruned yet?
[They blow-dry their faces.]
Gumball: Awesome, you look like a really thirsty reptile. [skin falls off, revealing baby faces][high-pitched voice] Oh, man, we look even younger than before!
Gumball: Rah! We still look like we've got our whole lives ahead of us.
Darwin: Ms. Mom says she'd look 10 years younger if she didn't have kids. Maybe we can age ourselves just like we aged her.
Gumball: Ok, 1, 2, 3: DARWIN WHY CAN'T I STAY UP LATE TONIGHT TOBIAS' MOM LETS HIM AND HE'S ALLOWED TO HAVE (?)!
[Gumball and Darwin yell at each other until they start getting wrinkles and grey hair.]
Gumball: Alright, stop! Before we turn to dust!
Gumball and Darwin: [backs cracking] Awesome!
Gumball: Now we need a swagtastic limp.
[A short scene shows Gumball and Darwin skating in high heels.]
Gumball: Alright, I get it. Skating in these heels, my body should look like a butcher's window, but look: [does a kickflip] I can kickflip!
Darwin: Yeah, let's just give up.
Gumball: I don't know why mom says heels are instruments of torture. It's a basic cakewalk and I- [both start walking away but fall to their knees] Yeah, we did it! [they laugh] Are you just laughing because you know that when you stop, you'll be crying for the rest of your life?
[Back to the Wattersons' house]
Gumball: Ok, we've got the limp, now what we need is the crew uniform. [pulls pants up] Little help, please?
[Darwin pulls Gumball's pants down, and he sheds a tear.]
Gumball: Now I know why they walk so slow. Your turn, come on! The higher the pants, the most street cred you get.
Darwin: [pulls pants up to his head] Cool?
Gumball: Bad circulation cool. And for the final touch, a bit of bling.
[Rap music plays as they put on their hearing aids. The scene changes to the seniors' house, where Gumball and Darwin paint the fence.]
Betty: When you offered to paint the fence that's not what I had in mind.
Gumball: Anything else we can do for ya?
Marvin: Maybe you could help me with something. There's a guy by the name of Louie. He was one of us, but one day he decided he couldn't take the heat anymore and left the crew. We'd like you guys to send him a message.
Gumball: [gasps] A message?
Marvin: Yes, a message.
Gumball: As in, a message message?
Gumball: A serious message?
Marvin: Yes, a serious message! Yeah, it's a darned shame. I loved Louie, I'm gonna miss him. Can you take care of it for the crew?
Gumball: Sure, yeah. [nervous laugh] We'll take care of it. Uh, when?
Marvin: Right now.
Gumball: Oh, yeah, yeah, well uh- first I just gotta uh, watch my soaps and, um, write an angry letter to my congressmen about, uh, how things were better when things were worse and, um- [walks away]
Marvin: Wait, wait! You'll need the cellphone if you're gonna send the message!
Betty: What did he say?
Marvin: What did who say?
Donald: What did you say?
Betty: What did you both say?
Donald: What did she say?
Marvin: What did you say?
Betty: What did who say?
Donald: What did he say?
Betty: What did she say?
Marvin: Half past three!
[Gumball and Darwin are in their room, hastily throwing their belongings into a suitcase.]
Darwin: Hurry up!
Gumball: I can't! I spent the whole day ruining my body. This is as fast as it gets. Also, [slaps Darwin with a limp hand] you are being hysterical.
Darwin: We joined the most hardcore crew in Elmore, and now they want us to ice Louie. We need to skip town and live under fake identities. I think I have every right to be hysterical!
Gumball: Ah, you're right, let's be hysterical.
[They run around screaming, then go downstairs.]
Darwin: I hope our new fake identities live in a house with a stairlift.
Marvin: [rings the doorbell] Hey kids, it's me.
Darwin: Ah, they're here! That's it, that's it! I'm gonna run about to the cops. [dials police] Hello, police? I'd like to report dangerous criminal activity. Meet us at the sewerage river for a more atmospheric effect.
Marvin: [from behind the door] What about that message?
Gumball: Stay quiet. [approaches the door] I think they're gone. [Gumball and Marvin's hearing aids interfere through the door]
Darwin: Gumball, this way!
Marvin: Hey, come back! I can't see anything, pass me a glasses. They are going out the back! Betty, you head them off, Donald, you come with me.
[Rap music plays as Gumball and Darwin leave the house. They shoot a garden hose at Betty, and her scooter hits a parked car in slow-motion. Marvin and Donald see Gumball and Darwin enter Mr. Robinson's house, and they try to break into it.]
Mr. Robinson What is going on here?
Marvin: No time to explain! [enters the house]
Mr. Robinson Are you sure? Because you're still here.
Donald: Well, it all started when two kids came over and decided-
Mr. Robinson Forget it, I've lost interest.
[They all walk out of the house.]
Marvin: Hey, wait!
[Gumball and Darwin ride the bus to a stop a few feet away.]
Gary: Last stop, everybody out!
[Gumball and Darwin jump out of the bus. They keep running and eventually make it to the old river.]
Gumball: Jump! [both jump in slow-motion]
Darwin: Are we in slow-motion or is this how fast we can- [they fall down; Marvin, Donald and Betty approach]
Marvin: [reaches into his pocket] Time to send that message.
Gumball: No! We don't wanna be part of your crew anymore.
Darwin: We thought it was cool to be hardcore, but we never wanted to be criminals.
Gumball: You wear your pants in a funny way, you pretend to have a limp, you twist your fingers to make letters, all so you can look hard...but deep inside, you just wanna belong.
Darwin: We already belong to a crew. It's called the people of this world, and Earth is our turf.
Gumball: I hope when you get out of prison, you too will join the ranks of the best crew in the world–
Gumball and Darwin: Society.
[Gumball and Darwin walk away.]
Marvin, Betty and Donald: Prison?
[The senior citizens are quickly surrounded by police.]
Doughnut Sheriff: Freeze!
Marvin: We just wanted them to send a text message. [reaches into his pocket]
Doughnut Sheriff: No, stop!
[The Doughnut Sheriff tazes them, ending the episode.]