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The Colossus/Transcript

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Friend Request

[Gumball and Darwin are on ShotoFop and Elmore Plus]
Gumball: So Darwin, what do you think, Duck Face or Ab Shot?
Darwin: But we don't have any abs.
Gumball: Which is why they invented Shotofop.
[Uses "abs" tool to draw abs onto a picture of them]
Gumball: Aaaaand upload!
Darwin: So, what's next?
Gumball: Check our friend requests. [Clicks] What the what?! Rejected?!
Darwin: What was all that what about?
Gumball: We got rejected by Hector, the guy whose only online friend is his mom!
Darwin: What the what?
Gumball: I think he owes us an explanation.

Hector's Cave

Gumball: Hector! Hector! Hector! Hector! Hector! Hector! Hector!
Mrs. Jötunheim: What do you want?!
Gumball: Uh, who are you?
Mrs. Jötunheim: I'm Hector's Mom.
[Gumball and Darwin inspect her, puzzledly]
Mrs. Jötunheim: What?!
Gumball: Nothing, It's just Hector's so...
[Stretches his arms to show that Hector is big]
Gumball: And you're so...
[Pushes his hand closer together to show that Hector's Mom is small]
Gumball: And you're-you're a bit...
[Makes a facial expression, imitating Hector's Mom]
Gumball: Actually you're more like...
[Imitates Mrs. Jötunheim almost perfectly]
Gumball: Anyway is Hector in?
Hector: Mom, who is it?
Mrs. Jötunheim: Nothing to worry about, honey! [To Gumball] In the absence of a door I can slam, I'm gonna do this.
[Moves her hand as if she's slamming a door]
Gumball: Can we at least talk to him?
Mrs. Jötunheim: Door.
Gumball: But we just want to be his friend on Elmore Plus!
Mrs. Jötunheim: My baby doesn't need friends like you!
Gumball: Ah, spoke through the door.
Mrs. Jötunheim: [Irritated] Get off my property!
[Gumball and Darwin groan and walk away]

Boring?

[Gumball and Darwin and shooting spitballs at Hector in the playground]
Gumball: Come on Hector, at least talk to us. Just accept our friend request. It's just, if we have more friends online...it makes us feel better about not having any in real life!
[Spitball goop falls on Gumball and Darwin]
Gumball: Ah, forget it, you're boring anyway.
Hector: [Confused] What? Boring? Darwin, do you think I'm boring?
Darwin : I wouldn't say "boring". You're just...much much much much much much much much less interesting than anyone else I know.
Gumball: [Shrugs] Eh.
Hector : But I do loads of cool stuff.
Gumball: Like what?
[The scene cuts to Hector's bedroom]
Hector : Well, this is my bedroom.
Gumball : Are you sure that your mom's not here? It's not that I find her witch face creepy or anything, it's just that I really don't want her to jump out on me.
[Gumball and Darwin stop, scream, and stare in horror at a disheveled hamster in a cage]
Gumball: WHAT'S THAT?!
Hector: That's my hamster, Barney.
Darwin: Dude, I think that Barney is... [Spins Barney's wheel; Barney turns upside down and falls on his head, completely motionless]
Hector: Hibernating. At least that's what my mom says.
Gumball: Yeah...hibernating...
Darwin: Dude! He's got comics! [Runs to the cabinet and takes out a comic book]
Gumball: [Takes the book from Darwin and gasps] You've got issue one of Captain Punch!? That's a collector's item! [Whispering] I take back everything I said. {{d|event|In sing-songy voice) You're so not booooriiiinnng. This comic is so extreme my mom won't even let my dad read it! [Opens comic]
[A narrative of the comic begins, several parts of it have been clearly erased and drawn over with blue marker ink]
Captain Punch: No matter how much it rains, this city always smells "lovely!" [A bell is heard ringing] What's this?! Looks like three "ski enthusiasts" have "withdrawn their" hard earned wages from the bank! Better get down there! "Safely!" Not so fast, "gentlemen"!
Ski enthusiast 1: "What a pleasant surprise, it's" Captain Punch!
Ski enthusiast 1, 2, 3: [Pull out "pointing fingers" substituting for guns] "Hey! Hey!"
Ski enthusiast 3: [Maniacal laughter] Hey!
Captain Punch: Take this! "Nice bunch of flowers"! "Hey! is there something on my shoe?"
Ski enthusiast 1: "Just some bubble gum!
Ski enthusiast 2: [holding a water hose] "Let me wash it off for you!"
Captain Punch: I'm going to take you down to "a nice restaurant for some swiss fondue!" My treat!
[Scene cut backs to Hector's room]
Gumball: Dude, who drew all over your comic?
Hector: That's how it was when my mom gave it to me, it's pretty cool huh?
Gumball: Ummm. I think we're going to go home now.
Hector: No, no, wait! Let me tell some jokes, me and my mom and do it all the time.
Gumball: (sigh) Fine.
Hector: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Gumball: [Shrugs]
Hector: For a perfectly legitimate reason! Heh, heh.
Gumball: Dude, that's not a joke, that's a sentence.
[Tune plays]
Hector: [Yawns] Bed time. [Falls asleep]
Gumball: Hmmm... Hector's diary! [Reads diary entry] 'I must not laugh, I must not get overexcited, I must not shout, I must not sneeze'? This sounds like a How-To Guide for ruining your life!
Darwin: Who makes him write all this stuff?
Gumball: [Tosses diary aside] I think I have an idea.
Darwin: Who?
[Gumball does an impression of Mrs. Jötunheim, who happens to be right behind them]
Mrs. Jötunheim: I think he means me.
Gumball: [Screams] I knew she'd creep up on me!
Mrs. Jötunheim: What are you doing in my son's bedroom?
Gumball: what are you doing taking the fun out of his life?
Mrs. Jötunheim: I think you're being a little presumptuous telling me how to raise my son.
Gumball: Well, you know what else is presumptuous?... YOUR FACE!
Mrs. Jötunheim: You don't know what presumptuous means, do you?
Gumball: [Scoffs] Yeah...
Mrs. Jötunheim: Just get out.
Gumball: ..Okay
[Gumball and Darwin start to leave. Outside the cave, Gumball scoffs]
Gumball: Bet you she is a witch.
Darwin: I think you've been insulting enough for today.

Intervention

Gumball: You think Hector knows what his mom is doing to him?
Darwin: I don't really think it's any of our business.
Gumball: NONE OF OUR BUSINESS!? She's the reason we've got no friends on Elmore Plus! Nope, that's it. I'm going to speak to him. [Gumball throws his food to the ground angrily] Hector! I've been thinking. It's not your fault you're boring... Uh you've got a bit of turkey sandwich just there...
Hector: Huh?
[A large turkey falls to the ground]
Gumball: GAAH! [Dodges the turkey] Look it's your mom's fault you're boring.
Darwin: She's too strict, man!
Gumball: You go tell her to give you some real comics!, some real movies! and a real live hamster-
[Darwin covers Gumball's mouth and shakes his head]
Hector: Well, she does those things because that's what's best for me..
Gumball: Best for you!? BEST FOR YOU!?
Gumball: Is it best you don't laugh?, is it best you don't cry?, is it best you don't sneeze? Is there a heart in that chest of yours, Hector? If there is, let it beat man, let it beat! [Bangs on Hector's toe]
Darwin: That's his toe.
Gumball: I know... [To Hector] So, Are you going to stand up for her or not?
Hector: Yes, I am! [walks away angrily]
[Every time Hector takes a step, Gumball and Darwin's faces get disarranged; Gumball and Darwin look at each other]
Gumball: Good. 

I'm Not Boring!

[At Hector's cave, Gumball and Darwin approach the entrance and hear Hector yelling]
Hector: No, you listen! Everyone thinks I'm boring and I'm fed up with it. I'll show them I'm not! [Walks out of the cave, crying]
Mrs. Jötunheim: Calm down, honey! Try your breathing technique!
Hector: That's boring, too!
Mrs. Jötunheim: What have you done to my son?
Gumball: Improved his life?
Mrs. Jötunheim: What's the one thing you know about giants?
Gumball: ...That they're big?
Mrs. Jötunheim: Yes, and so are their emotions! I wasn't trying to make his life boring, I was making his life calm! You have to keep giants calm!
Gumball: Why?
Mrs. Jötunheim: Because if you don't, then that happens!
Hector: [In the distance, Hector is attacking the town and causing destruction] Is this boring, or this?! Do you think this is boring?! Call me boring now! [Swipes down the Robinson's house] Is this is boring?
[Mrs. Robinson is in shock about the house.]
Mr. Robinson: [Reading newspaper] Close the window Margaret.
Doughnut Sheriff: Freeze! Poilce!
[Hector squashes the police car.]
Doughnut Sheriff: Well uh, I think I'll call it a day. [Runs off on foot]
[Hector approaches the Senior citizens and yells]
Hector: I'm not boring! [The senior citizens, except for Louie, are blown away]
Louie: What did he say?
[Back at Hector's Cave]
Darwin: Gumball, what do we do? We have to stop him!
Gumball: [Notices brooms in the cave] I got it! [Grabs a broom] We'll just fly after him using one of your witch brooms! [Attempts to "fly," but falls flat on his face]
Mrs. Jötunheim: That's a normal broomstick. I'm a cleaning lady.
Gumball: [Face down on the ground] Oh.
Mrs. Jötunheim: [Takes off her hair clip] The witchy ones are over there.
Gumball: [Quietly] I knew it.
[Gumball, Darwin, and Mrs. Jötunheim fly after Hector.]
Hector: I'm not boring! I'm not boring!
Mrs. Jötunheim: How ya doing?
Darwin: Pretty good.
Gumball: What the? Hooo. Do we really have to be this high?
Mrs. Jötunheim: Yes! [Produces Hector's music box] We need to be close to his head so he can hear the music box and fall asleep!
Hector I'm not boring! I'm not boring! [Damages several houses and continues running]
Gumball: Mrs. Jötunheim? For the record, before we go on, I'd like to apologize.
Mrs. Jötunheim: Nah, don't sweat it kid. Now I'll try to calm him down. You take the music box. Here! [Throws the music box at Gumball, but it falls short and drops down] Ah, just go get it! We'll lead him somewhere safer!
Gumball: O-kay, how do you stop this thing? [Manages to stop the broom] Aha! [Falls out of the sky, and starts screaming]
[Gumball starts "swimming" towards the broom, and reaches for it. He screams as he sees the ground below him. He struggles to reach the broom and manages to get on it, and slow down just inches from the street. He nervously laughs in relief, but screams as the broom picks up speed again and goes down the street. The Senior citizens have just made it back to their seats, and get blown off once more as Gumball flies past them. Gumball loses his grip and falls off the broom, and rolls on the asphalt, eventually grinding to a halt right next to the music box. Gumball yet again laughs nervously, then screams as he sees Hector's foot coming down on him. Darwin appears and saves Gumball.]
Gumball: [Screaming] - Oh.
Darwin: Hey Gumball.
Gumball: Darwin! Get me to that ear!
[They fly towards Hector.]
Darwin: Hey Gumball, we're too heavy! You're gonna have to jump!
Gumball: Jump? What the- [Glances at Hector and is shocked] Can't you just get a little bit higher?
Darwin: Why? [Notices that Hector's butt is all that Gumball can reach] Just get on with it!
Gumball: [sighs] Fine! [Jumps and grabs hold of Hector's butt]
[Hector screams in pain and hit Gumball, who flies in the air and manages to grab hold of Hector' arm]
Mrs. Jötunheim: Follow me, sweetie!
Hector: Wait for me, mom.
Gumball: [climbs Hector's back with extreme difficulty, then notices Darwin flying nearby with a strange look on his face] What's with the smug face?
Darwin: Nothing. But I think there might be a lesson in all this. You know, next time you want to judge other people's life choices, maybe you should take a long hard look at your own!
Gumball: Well, maybe you should take a long hard look at that duck.
Darwin: Duck? [is hit in the face by a flying duck]
Hector: [destroys electrical lines] Get outta my way!
Mrs. Jötunheim: Hurry up, kid! I'll try and lead him to the stadium!
[Gumball makes it to Hector's ear and starts winding the music box.]
Hector: Mom! Wait for me, mom! [slips on a banana truck]
Gumball: [Loses his hold on the music box, which falls off Hector] Dang nabbit!
Mrs. Jötunheim: [Nearly inaudible] Whistle it!
Gumball: What??
Mrs. Jötunheim: Whistle the tune in his ear!
Gumball: Okay! [approaches Hector's ear and starts whistling]
[Hector arrives at the stadium, yawning. As Gumball finishes the tune, Hector collapses.]
Gumball: Hector, uh... I'm sorry for calling you boring.
Hector: I'm not sure all this excitement suits me, or anyone else. I think I'll just go back to being boring.
Gumball: You're not boring, dude. You're nuts. [Hector starts snoring, and Gumball chuckles]
Mrs. Jötunheim: You okay, kid?
Gumball: Yeah! We're good.
Mrs. Jötunheim: Great! I'll take care of him from here!

How to Deal with Friend Requests

[The Watterson household, a computer ping sounds.]
Darwin: We got a friend request!
Gumball: Who is it? Oh man, it's from Hector.
Darwin: What shall we do? If we say yes, he'll get excited and trash the town. If we say no, he'll get sad and trash the town.
Gumball: Don't worry, I know exactly what to do.
[Gumball takes out a hammer and smashes it into the computer screen, at which point the episode ends.]
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