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The Rear End
Miss Simian: [While turning around] Now, pay attention! This diagram reveals everything you need to know-
Miss Simian: [Faces the class again] What?!
Class: [Collective muttering]
Miss Simian: [Turning around, again] Hm. Now we shall continue. This area is-
Miss Simian: [Facing the class] What?! [Turning back to the board] This area is mostly composed of hot gases. Never look at it directly with the naked eye, or you will burn your retinas.
[Tobias turns around with burning eyes.]
Miss Simian: This could lead to rash acts...
[Banana Joe throws his eyes off of his face.]
Miss Simian: Nausea...
[Masami vomits rainbows, William falls down.]
Miss Simian: Weight loss...
[Leslie's petals fall out.]
Miss Simian: Malfunction, confusion...
[Bobert shorts out, Sarah's head melts, and Sussie regurgitates a brown liquid.]
Miss Simian: Or explosion.
[Idaho blows up.]
Gumball: [shouting angrily] Oh, I can't take this anymore!
Darwin: [Hysterical] Every second I look at it, means another year of therapy!
Gumball: [Covering his eyes] Augh, I-I gotta tell her, man!
Darwin: You can't talk to a teacher about her tushy! It's too touchy!
Gumball: Aw, c'mon. You can't leave her like that. It-It's cruel.
Darwin Okay, but we got to be subtle.
[Writes something down on paper, and hands it to Gumball.]
[Gumball folds it into a paper plane.]
Gumball: Psst! Miss Simian!
Miss Simian: Huh?
[Plane lands in her eye.]
At the Principal's Office
Miss Simian: [Screaming at Gumball and Darwin] You are nothing, but a pair of disruptive, disrespectful delinquents from a dysfunctional dynasty of degenerates and dimwits!!
Principal Brown: What do you have to say for your defense?
Gumball: Uh, it was an accident, sir! We were trying to tell her something!
Principal Brown: Tell her what?!
Gumball: Uh, uh, I... I can't say it. It's too embarrassing.
Principal Brown: [slams his fist on the desk] For the last time, why did you throw a paper plane at your teacher's face?!
Darwin: [Whispers to Principal Brown] It says it all on the paper.
Principal Brown: [Reading to himself, muffled and confused] "You do not know how much it shows, but the wind has blown in the hills below?" ...Huh?
Miss Simian: Speaking of which, can anyone else feel that draft?
[Miss Simian walks away to close the window. The screen zooms in on her butt.]
[Principal Brown spits out his beverage while giving himself a facepalm for an extended period of time.]
Darwin: [Whispering to Principal Brown] Maybe you should say something.
Principal Brown: [suddenly stops spitting] Yes, I suppose.
[Principal Brown walks to Miss Simian, and whispers something into her ear.]
Miss Simian: [Gasps whilst pulling her dress down] You knew about this, and you thought it was funny, didn't you?!
[Gumball and Darwin simultaneously shake their heads.]
Miss Simian: YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?!
Principal Brown: Lucy, please. I think you owe them an apology.
Miss Simian: Don't you "Lucy" me, Nigel! These kids tried to make a monkey out of me, and you want me to apologize?!
Principal Brown: Uh, you kids are free to go. [The boys leave.]
[Miss Simian goes "ape" and throws furniture around, while making monkey sounds.]
Exiting the Office
Gumball: Hmm. There's one thing I don't understand.
Darwin: Yeah, why did she go ape when we just tried to help her?
Gumball: No, why do monkeys have hair all over their bodies, except for the ugly part where they need it the most?
Gumball: [To Darwin] Have you noticed that Miss Simian has been acting a little "off" lately?
Darwin: Now that you mention it, she has been keeping a particularly close eye on us.
[Screen pans out showing Miss Simian's eyeballs stretched toward Gumball and Darwin.]
[Gumball and Darwin try to make their way out the classroom, when they are greeted by Miss Simian's outstretched hand.]
[Gumball slaps Miss Simian's hand, as if giving a high-five.]
Miss Simian: Report card. Signed.
Gumball: Oh! Okay.
[Miss Simian swipes the card, glances at it and chuckles to herself. Gumball and Darwin join in nervously. They continue laughing until Miss Simian abruptly stops and so do the boys.]
In the Principal's Office 2
Miss Simian: It's the most pathetic, half-baked, attempt at forgery I've seen in my 300,000 years as a teacher, and I've taught during the Stone Age!
Richard: [gasps] Forgery-ers! My own flesh and blood accused of forgery-ing?! [whispers to Miss Simian] What does it mean?
Miss Simian: Faking your signature.
[Richard gasps again.]
Principal Brown: We need you to sign this suspension card.
Gumball: Oh, but-
Richard: Buh, buh, buh!
[Richard signs the card; Principal Brown looks at the signature to see that it is the exact same one on the report card; Scene skips to Principal Brown's office trashed, only Miss Simian and Principal Brown are present; Miss Simian is crying.]
Principal Brown: Uh, listen, these kids are decent children. There's nothing you can suspend them for. They don't fight, they respect school property, they don't steal.
[Gumball and Darwin find a 100 dollar bill on the floor in the library.]
Gumball & Darwin: Oooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Miss Simian: [hiding behind a bookshelf] C'mon, pick it up and keep it for yourselves, you thieving hoodlums.
Gumball: [Dancing] We're rich!
Darwin: [Dancing] We're prosperous!
Gumball: We're opulent!
Darwin: We're fresh!
Gumball: We're gilded!
Darwin: We're wealthy!
Gumball: We're—wait a minute. We need to change our phone numbers and leave town!
Gumball: [Whispering] Because they're all gonna want a piece of it.
Gumball: Everyone! Look at all trying to get their creepy hands on my money!
[Leslie walks by, creeped out]
Darwin: Gumball, you've changed!
Gumball: No I haven't! I'm just the same, but happier, because I'm RICH!
Darwin: Look at yourself! You're surrounded by all these riches, but you're the loneliest man in the world! [sobs]
Gumball: You're-You're right! This money is evil! I wish I never found it!
[Balls up money and throws it out the window. Miss Simian dives after it]
[Gumball and Darwin are eating lunch outside]
Gumball: Mm. Have you heard? There's gonna be a big fight!
Darwin: Why do you think I brought the popcorn? Who do you think it'll be?
Gumball: I don't know. [Gasp] Imagine if it's Tina and Bobert!
[Cutaway of Bobert and Tina shooting a laser at each other.]
Gumball: If I saw that, I'd throw away my eyes, because nothing else in the world will be worth watching anymore.
Darwin: Really? What about [in a boxing announcer's voice] Alaaaaaaaaaaan versus Williaaaaaaaaaaam?!
[Cutaway of Alan and William bumping into each other.]
Gumball: Yeah, I'd watch it, but it'd be better if it were in a cage.
[A cage appears in the cutscene]
Darwin: With spikes.
[Spikes appear in cutscene]
Gumball: That was on fire.
[Cage gets lit on fire. William and Alan bump each other nervously.]
Gumball: Oh, I can't wait to see who it is!
[Classmates form a crowd around Gumball and Darwin.]
Crowd: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Miss Simian: See? Look at them, about to fight like animals!
Principal Brown: Why not focus your attention on someone who really needs it?
[Principal Brown puckers his lips.]
Miss Simian: Shush. It's about to start.
Gumball: Dude, what are we doing?
Darwin: Stupid things because of peer pressure.
Alan: This would be even better with poison nun chucks.
Darwin: You gotta get us out of this.
Gumball: Okay, hold on, I got it. People of Elmore! You came to see a fight, and until a few seconds ago, I was just like you! But now that I know I'm the one who's supposed to get hit, I discovered something! Fighting is wrong! This is no way to settle a dispute. Because after all, what's more powerful?! This [puts fist up] or this?! [gives Darwin handshake and hug]
[The crowd starts clapping and Miss Simian starts banging the window]
Principal Brown: Lucy, what's wrong? Speak.
Miss Simian: This isn't at all what I had planned!
Principal Brown: Please don't tell me you're the one who arranged this fight.
['Miss Simian starts to 'go ape; scene skips to Principal Brown disgustedly staring down at the floor of his wrecked office]
Miss Simian: I know we haven't spoken in a long time, but I need your advice. Is it really wrong to create false evidence to frame some criminals who you know for sure are definitely, absolutely, without a single shadow of a doubt guilty?! [Talking to a baboon skeleton] Well I don't care what you say, DAD! I'm doing it anyway!
Miss Simian: [Sneaks into the boys room with her eyes covered and spray paint] Let's see you get away with this one you little hooligans.
[Unnoticingly sprays herself]
In the Principal's Offiice 3
Miss Simian: [thinking the graffiti was on the bathroom wall and not on her face] And I know for sure these two did the graffiti because they were idiotic enough to sign there names at the bottom of it!
Principal Brown: Are you sure no one else could've done it?
Miss Simian: [screen pans out to show spray paint on face] Absolutely!
Principal Brown: Miss Simian! Wrongly accusing the boys is one thing, but openly framing them is another! One more offense and you are fired! And you still owe these boys an apology!
Gumball: [whispering] It's fine, it's fine.
Miss Simian: I'll apologize when fish start to walk.
[Darwin is about to say that it already happened, but Gumball slaps a hand on his mouth.]
Principal Brown: If this really is the kind of person you are, then we seriously need to talk about our relationship as well.
[Miss Simian starts to go ape, but can't lift the desk.]
Principal Brown: I saw that coming, I glued everything to the floor.
[Miss Simian runs away crying. Principal Brown also starts sobbing.]
Commiting a Crime
[School bus drives away from Elmore, screen cuts to Gumball and Darwin against the wall of the school]
Darwin: I gotta be honest, Gumball. I'm not entirely comfortable with commiting a crime.
Gumball: Look, it's not a crime if you intend to get caught. Unless we actually do something bad, Simian's gonna blow a fuse and lose her hairy boyfriend. Do you really want that on your conscience? [Darwin nods no] Good, now give me a leg up. [Darwin gives Gumball a leg up, Gumball hops through window
Darwin: Now what am I supposed to do?
Gumball: Give yourself a leg up.
Darwin: Oh, of course.
[Gives himself a leg up, literally, and hops through window. They sneak in the hallway and see Principal Brown crying and spilling coffee on himself because of the glue. Gumball breaks into the bathroom through the air vent, while Darwin just uses the door. He's about to say something.]
Gumball: Don't. [Walks over to the trash can and takes the can of spraypaint that Miss Simian previously discarded] Hehe. This is gonna be easier than I thought. [Miss Simian sees them and then they see her, and she infuriatingly charges at them] Oh, why do I have to run every eight minutes of my life?!
Darwin: Wait, in the jungle when a gorilla charges, you have to stare 'em to the ground!
[She is still charging and then we see Darwin running away]
Gumball: Uh, is it working dude? Dude?
Darwin: I just realized, we can't let her catch us, until we've done something bad.
Gumball: Ah, you could've told me!
[She is still charging and Gumball starts running with his legs coming off and then his top half has to catch up. Miss Simian chases Gumball down the hall. Darwin is in a locker and opens it for Gumball.]
Darwin: Quick, get in here. [She crashes into it, losing a tooth, which Gumball puts back in her mouth where it came off.]
Gumball: You get Brown's attention, I'll deface his car.
[starts throwing rocks at the building.]
Darwin: Psst, Principal Brown, Principal Brown, Principal Brown, Principal Brown, Principal Brown.
Gumball: [gasp] Dude, why is every single window broken, except for Brown's?
Darwin: How about you do it yourself if you're such a hot...shot. [Miss Simian appears]
Miss Simian: I caught them. I finally caught them. Which means, I can do this. [Struggles to smile] You're coming with me to the principal's office.
Gumball: With pleasure. [Gumball & Darwin walk] Wait, we forgot to spray our names.
Miss Simian: What do you mean?
Gumball: Well, duh, if we don't sign it, Principal Brown will think it's you again, then you'll get fired and lose the love of your life. Now where would that leave us?
Miss Simian: Are you trying to say you only did this to save my reputation, my job, and my relationship?
Darwin: Of course. What do you take us for, some kind of criminals?
Miss Simian: Well, yes. [Gasp] But I was wrong. Right, I'll clean this up, you need to get out of here before Principal Brown sees this.
Gumball: I don't think so, Miss Simian. We're not letting you ruin your life.
Miss Simian: Don't worry, I won't. Just go! [They were leaving and she whispers to them] Boys, I'm sorry.
Miss Simian: [a little louder] I'm sorry.
Gumball: Say again.
Miss Simian: [a little louder] I'm sorry.
Gumball: Heh, heard it the first time, miss. Just wanted to milk it.
Miss Simian: [chuckling] Those little...
Principal Brown: [In his car, confusedly looking at the spray paint of a pose] Care to explain?
Miss Simian: Wha... Ugh.