- To edit the transcript, click here.
A Strange Noise
- [At school, the bell rings as Gumball and Darwin walk down the hall. A faint groaning sound is heard, making them both stop]
Gumball: Can you hear that?
Darwin: What? [They look around] Yeah. It sounds like the sea, but more purple.
Gumball: What? No.
Darwin: You're right. It's more like the sound of Christmas, but, like, in the desert.
Gumball: What does that even mean??
Darwin: Yeah. It's more like the sound of a cell phone [makes a silly face] grabbing onto an ice cream cake.
Gumball: [also makes a silly face] Ohhhh. Darwin Watterson is making a joke. 'Cause it clearly sounds more like--
Darwin: [resumes walking] Yeah, we should probably just see what it is.
- [Gumball gives him an angry look]
- [Gumball and Darwin peek into the teachers' lounge to see Mr. Small groaning, facing a window. They come in]
Gumball: What's wrong, Mr. Small?
- [Mr. Small looks out of the window, which is wet, and sighs]
Mister Small: Will this rain never end?
Darwin: I don't think that's rain.
- [A squeegee is shown being used by Rocky, who sees Mr. Small and climbs down the ladder]
Mister Small: I meant the metaphorical rain, in my soul. [Sighs again] I just realized there is nothing fulfilling about being a teacher.
Darwin: Oh, come on, I'm sure there's lots to like. Hey, Coach! [Coach is banging her head against the wall, making cracks] What's your favorite thing about teaching?
Coach: Watching the minutes tick by until the day I can retire.
Gumball: Uh...Miss Simian?
Miss Simian: [cheerfully] For me, it's the excited pitter-patter of little feet...[angrily] leaving my classroom.
Darwin: Principal Brown?
- [Principal Brown is frantically ripping his hair out]
Principal Brown: Free coffee!
Gumball: What could possibly have made you all feel like that?
Coach, Miss Simian, Principal Brown, and Mr. Corneille: Children!
Mister Small: Ya see? I came here to shape minds, challenge perceptions, and be remembered as the single greatest teacher that ever lived. Is that too much to ask?
Gumball: Yes. [Darwin hits him] I mean, maybe. [Darwin hits him again] I mean, whatever Darwin wants me to say.
Darwin: [softly to Gumball] I don't want us to be the ones to crush this poor man's spirit.
- [Gumball sighs]
Mister Small: When I first came to Elmore Junior High, I wanted to inspire troubled kids from difficult backgrounds. I don't suppose either of you are in an illegal street gang.
Gumball: He's on the synchronized swimming team, does that count?
- [Mr. Small shakes his head, groans again, and sinks to the floor. Darwin motions for Gumball to do something. Gumball shrugs. Darwin motions again and Gumball sighs and goes to stroke Mr. Small's shoulder as the latter whimpers, rocking back and forth]
Gumball: [to Darwin, shrugging] Hm?
Darwin: [shaking his head] Uh-uh.
- [He strokes Mr. Small's head and smiles awkwardly at Darwin]
Darwin: [shrugging, shaking his head] Eh.
- [He hesitantly hugs Mr. Small]
Darwin: What the-- I mean ask him to inspire us.
Gumball: [whispering] Couldn't you have just said that in the first place?
Gumball and Darwin: Please, sir, inspire us.
- [Mr. Small grins]
- [Cut to Gumball, Darwin, and Mr. Small in his office]
Mister Small: [clapping his hands] Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo. Oh, I have so much advice for you. Nobody ever used to listen to me, [turns his computer monitor to Gumball and Darwin] so I made these motivational quotes you get on the Internet. Look.
Gumball: "There's no me in team unless you move the letters." 'Kay...
Darwin: "A smile is like a hug that your face gives to someone else's eyes."
Gumball: Right, do you have any, like, um, beginner's advice? Sort of...simpler, more kinda obvious ones that...make sense?
Mister Small: Hmmmm...[inhales] Follow your dreams.
- [Gumball and Darwin look at each other uneasily]
Following Darwin's Dream
- [Time lapse]
Gumball: Darwin, why are we doing this again?
- [In the classroom, Gumball is naked wearing a leprechaun hat and Darwin has the water on]
Darwin: Tsk tsk tsk. In the dream, the naked leprechaun spoke backwards.
- [Gumball sighs]
Gumball: Again this doing we are why, Darwin?
- [Darwin grins at Gumball with his thumbs up]
Darwin: I'm following my dream. Last night, I dreamed that I was in this classroom and there was a naked leprechaun talking backwards--
Gumball: Humiliating is this.
Darwin: [he's wearing cake slices on his feet] And I was wearing shoes made of cake, and then the room filled with water, and I saw two goldfish in the distance, and then I rode all the way up to them on Abraham Lincoln the goat...[a goat with Abraham Lincoln's head screams]...and then they offered me a nut for a jar of tuna.
Gumball: A nut for a jar of tuna?
Gumball: A...nut for a jar of tuna.
Darwin: Huh. But then I woke up. So if I follow my dream to the end, I'll get to find out what happened next.
Gumball: Sense perfect makes this.
Darwin: What? [Gumball sighs and holds his hands out] Okay, so while we wait for the room to fill up with water, I'll just climb on Abraham.
- [He does and the goat screams and bucks. It then runs around the room, knocking over desks. It bumps into Miss Simian's desk, causing Darwin to fly into the chalkboard. The goat runs out of the room]
- [He slips and falls. He and Gumball exit the room. Mr. Small stands in a doorway]
Mister Small: So, how's my advice working out for you guys?
- [In the background, the goat runs and headbutts Tobias]
Darwin: Great. I mean, maybe cake shoes were a bad idea, but--
Mister Small: Bad idea? Hmm. Impossible. There's no such thing as a bad idea.
Darwin: What do you mean?
Mister Small: How would we have discovered milk if someone hadn't looked a cow's udder and said, "I'm gonna drink from that"? Like I said, no such thing as a bad idea.
Gumball: [sighs] That's another piece of advice, isn't it?
- [In the background, the goat chases Sarah]
Mister Small: Mm-hmm.
- [He closes the door on him]
Trying an Idea
- [Time lapse. The bell rings. Darwin pours gasoline onto the floor]
Gumball: I don't think this is gonna end well.
Darwin: Like he said, there's no such thing as a bad idea. How would scientists have invented the quadruple bypass if we hadn't first invented the quadruple cheeseburger?
Gumball: I think you're missing the point. And I'm not so sure about the name. "Corislide"?
Darwin: It makes perfect sense - it's a way to travel faster through school.
- [They both watch as Leslie and Anton slip and fall. Miss Simian comes out of her office, and slips, falling out of a window. Rocky tries mopping it up as Coach slides after him. They both fall down the stairs and Coach's body pins Banana Joe against the camera. Idaho tries to help Teri as she screams while slipping, getting torn in half]
Gumball: I don't think anything good is gonna come out of this.
- [A siren sounds as Bobert carries Teri away. A flashing light is on top of his head]
Darwin: How 'bout that? We just created the robo-bulance.
- [Because of the flames coming out of Bobert's feet, the gasoline catches fire. Cut to the exterior of the school. An explosion is seen throughout the building]
- [In Mr. Small's office, Gumball looks at Mr. Small angrily while Darwin grins, trying to stay positive]
Mister Small: Uhhh, is everything--
- [Gumball lunges and tries to attack him, but Darwin holds him back]
Darwin: We just...we just wanted to say that your advice was very helpful. But we're great now, we don't need anymore. [Giggles nervously] Thank you.
Mister Small: Uh, are you sure? Your little friend looks like he needs to perk up.
Gumball: [through his teeth] You should tell that to the people in the infirmary.
Mister Small: What?
Darwin: Uh, nothing, nothing, nothing - he's just a little under the weather.
Mister Small: [gasps] I've got just the thing! [Turns around, puts something on, and turns back. He's wearing a clown nose] Ho ho. Here's another piece of advice for you: Laughter is the best medicine! [Winks]
- [In the infirmary, several people are lying in hospital beds. The door opens and Darwin, who's dressed as a clown, stands in the doorway]
Darwin: Ladies and gentlemen, here to cure you through the power of laughter, it's [Gumball, annoyed, also enters, dresses as a clown] Dr. Funball and Ha-harwin Watterson. [Spins Gumball's bowtie. Gumball is unfazed] Come on, do something. [Pushes him]
- [Gumball goes to Rocky and sighs at Darwin]
Gumball: [to Rocky] Hey, hey, got your nose.
Rocky: You found my nose? [Pulls down his cast to reveal that his nose is missing] The doctor said we could reattach it.
Gumball: Oh...uh, no, I was...[takes off his clown nose and puts it on Rocky] There you go. [Squeezes it and it squeaks. A tear appears in Rocky's eye. Ba dum tss]
Darwin: Hey, hey, hey, hey! [To Teri] I got my gas that's gonna split your sides, not split your middle! [Laughs as Teri glares at him. His laughter dies down. Beat] Wow, does this room even have a pulse? I mean, [giggles] is this thing on? [Taps Tobias' oxygen tank and it falls over, breaking. Gumball tries to work it, but it inflates Tobias] Well, [giggles] like they say, leave the one a high. [Giggles]
- [They begin to run away, but Gumball trips over a cord, disconnecting all of the IVs. They both panic and each pick one up]
Gumball: Which one goes where?
Darwin: This one goes there!
Gumball: Where? [Darwin inadvertently pokes him in the eye. Gumball screams and stumbles backwards, knocking Rocky into a shelf and spilling liquid on the floor] Quick, grab some paper towels! [Darwin grabs Teri's upper half instead and she screams] Run.
- [Darwin throws Teri on the shelf and he and Gumball try to run, but can't due to the liquid]
Darwin: I can't.
Gumball: Me neither. Hold on.
- [He grabs onto Darwin, forming a wheel and they spin out]
Attempting to Tell the Truth
- [Cut to outside of the classroom, which is still filling up with water. Gumball and Darwin walk past]
Gumball: Where are we going?
Darwin: [angry] Back to Mr. Small's office.
Gumball: Wha--No! If his advice was a type of footwear, it'd be socks and sandals! [Beat] It's bad, his advice is bad.
Darwin: It's not about his advice, it's about having the consequences from it. [The goat headbutts a copier. Paper comes out and it eats it] I refuse to be the kid who breaks his positive spirit.
Gumball: Yeah, well, whatever. I'm not going back to his office.
- [Darwin opens Mr. Small's door]
Darwin: Too late; we're already there.
Gumball: [sliding on the gasoline into the room] I said, I'm not going.
- [He opens his eyes, looks down, and sighs. Darwin goes in and closes the door]
Mister Small: Ah, children! So, how did this day of inspirational advice go?
Gumball: Pretty bad.
Mister Small: Oh, uh, haha, um...[tears up] that's, um... I guess, maybe I should, uh, sho-should go back to my normal work.
- [He begins typing]
Darwin: As in bad, you know, good bad, like a bad skateboard trick or a bad new pair of fresh kicks, or a bad--
Mister Small: Gas?
Gumball: No, that would be actually bad.
Mister Small: But you meant I gave you good advice. Right?
- [He looks at Gumball and Darwin, slowly tearing up]
Gumball: [sighs, whispers] Yes.
Mister Small: [happily] I knew it!
- [He grabs a guitar and plays it]
Gumball: Hoh, man, that's never a good sign.
Take My Advice
Mister Small: [coming out of his office, singing] To educate is my desire
And to that duty, I am bound
- [He's walking on the gasoline, not moving]
Your minds are there to be inspired
- [Sarah slides into the lockers]
To open your eyes to the world around
Darwin: [to Gumball] We can't let him see the chaos his advice caused.
Mister Small: The longest journey starts with just one simple step
- [They walk down the hall where students have fallen from the gasoline so Gumball and Darwin spin Mr. Small]
And each mile goes much quicker
If you walk it with pep
Take my advice and you'll be glad that you do
- [Gumball and Darwin sigh with relief, but then see Principal Brown and Miss Simian. She sees them]
Your mind is like a parachute, It won't open when it's not open
Miss Simian: There they are!
- [They both start walking toward Gumball and Darwin so Gumball calls the goat, which headbutts Principal Brown and Miss Simian]
Mister Small: So don't close yourself off to the words that I've spoken
Take my advice and you'll be glad that you do
- [The goat headbutts Alan and Carmen]
Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes
Well, you might as well try it
Mr. Corneille: [coming out of a room] You've got nothing to [gets stabbed by the goat] LOOOOOOOO--!
- [Teri, Rocky, and Banana Joe are in the hallway on stretchers]
Nurse: Sorry, Teri, I'm a nurse, not an artist, you're all going to the hospital now. I'll call the ambulance.
- [She goes back into her office]
Mister Small: So come real close
Open your ears, hearts, and eyes
- [Gumball and Darwin turn the corner, get rid of the stretchers, and press Rocky and Teri against the walls. Darwin gets rid of Banana Joe's stretcher with him still on it]
I'm gonna give you all the gift of advice
- [Banana Joe's stretcher rolls down the stairs...]
Be the change you want in your world
- [...and hits the ambulance, making Banana Joe fly through it, and land on the ground. The ambulance takes off, running him over]
Take my advice and you'll be glad that you do
And you know what doesn't kill you's only gonna make you stronger
- [Gumball and Darwin hold up Rocky and Teri and rock them, making it look like they're dancing as Mr. Small walks past them]
If it turns out wrong, then it won't matter much longer
Tomorrow you'll be better than you are today
- [The nurse peeks out of her office]
- [The goat headbutts her back in. Mr. Small turns around]
Gumball and Darwin: Hey, hey, hey!
Mister Small: Hey, hey, hey! Let me hear ya!
Gumball and Darwin: Hey, hey, hey!
Mister Small: Whoooooo! Hey, hey, hey!
- [He approaches the next hallway where the floor is on fire so Gumball and Darwin dance to distract him]
I've got plenty more advice, all you need to do is ask
- [Gumball sneaks to the classroom door and opens it, letting the water pour out and douse the fire, taking him with. Mr. Small turns the corner]
So next time you feel lost, just pop into...
And that is my advice to you
- [Darwin helps Gumball up]
My advice to you!
- [Gumball spits out water]
Mister Small: And now for my last piece of advice for today, children: As you grow older, you'll...[the goat sees them and prepares to charge at them]...some will be good, some will be bad. Some will open your mind and your spirit, while some make you feel inept or worse, discouraged. [The goat charges at them] Some advice will result...while some will lead you down a slippery slope...so, children, the most important thing to remember is this: [Gumball opens a locker and the goat runs into it] Never take any advice too literally.
- [He walks away]
Gumball: Yeah, that would have been good advice to give us first.
- [He takes the Abraham Lincoln mask off of the goat and shows it to it. It screams and falls over]